𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 (𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 53

TW- SELF HARM

"Harmonia Nectere Passus." I whispered. I reached out and opened the cabinet, the feather wasn't there, "Shit." I mumbled.

I pictured Draco leaned up against it like usual but quickly flushed it from my mind.

Fucking asshole, said he missed me and all that bullshit but went and slept with someone else after we tried to fix our relationship.

But part of me still loved me, all of me still loved him.

I grabbed my robe from the couch and slid it on, I covered the cabinet back up and walked out.

As I walked to my dorm, I thought about everything, how Draco is an asshole, Pansy hates me now because I yelled at her and, my father had Leo do all those nasty things.

I reached my dorm and turned around, looking at Pansy's dorm, should I? No. I turned back around and entered my dorm. I slammed my door and felt my robe slide down my arms. I looked at myself in the mirror.

Am I the problem?

I felt my throat begin to ache as it felt like it was closing in, my lips began to tremble as my eyes weren't so dry anymore. I'm a killer, a death eater, a bitch, what the hell is wrong with me? I looked down at my dark mark, my breathing picked up as I rushed to my bathroom.

It's the mark.

I turned on the water to hot, running it over my mark, I clenched my teeth together at the burning sensation.

"It's all your fault." I groaned as I dug my nails into the mark and began to drag them across it. My head fell back as I squeezed my eyes shut, still repeating the scraping. My head fell forward as the water going down the drain was a light red, my arm was barely bleeding. My eyes fell to my metal razor. I sighed and reached for it, taking the blade from the rest of it, I held it for a second before I held it above my wrist.

Was I here?

I dug the corner of the blade into my wrist as I drug the rest of it along, I bit my bottom lip as I drove it in deeper, watching the blood stream down my wrist and hand like a stream. The water was dark red, like those perfectly riped cherries.

I sunk the blade into a fresh patch of skin again.

And again.

And again.

I was left with four deep cuts, I stared at them in admiration, the water getting darker as my arm wasn't recognizable.

My eyes felt heavy, my head beating like a bass. Objects and colors began to block my vision. I looked at myself one more time in the mirror before I fell down and hit my head off the cold tiles.

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"Fuck Y/n!" Someone shouted. My mind was on but it didn't feel like it. I felt my body lift from the floor a few seconds later I was placed on my bed. I slowly fluttered my eyes open and saw Draco sitting beside me on my bed as he wiped up the blood from my arm.

"What are you doing here?" I lazily sneered my eyes still feeling heavy.

"Saving your fucking life." He looked away from my arm and at me.

"Bullshit, why'd you come?"

"Because-" I cut him off.

"You know what? Don't even answer, I don't want to hear your pitiful bullshit." I spat as my head fell back.

"I don't fucking care, I love you and I don't want you dying so, I'm not leaving."

"You don't love me, you love her." I groaned as I felt my heart break even more.

"Fuck Y/n!" He sighed. "I'm in love with you." His voice slightly cracked.

"No." I whispered.

"Yes! I don't love her it was a mistake and I- I will do anything to prove my love for you because I regret what happened with her this morning, I should've waited for you to give me signs."

"You were really that desperate?" I scoffed.

"Yes, Y/n. You've been turning me on more and more everyday and it seemed like you didn't want me so I just- I just fucked her because I missed you and I thought of you while we did it I know it should've been you I was doing it with but I just didn't want to hurt you."

"Well you did."

"I was going to tell you, I didn't want you finding out like that." He sighed.

"Bullshit, you would've kept it a secret."

"How can I prove it to you? Please let me." He chocked on air. I sat up.

"Nothing, I just want you gone." I whispered.

"Y/n-"

"Leave!" I growled as I felt my heart beating out of my chest. He just sat there. "I said leave!" I pointed at my door.

"Y/n- please." He sobbed.

"If you don't leave, I'll never give you another chance." I spat as I watched tears stream down his face.

Was I being too harsh?

"Ok, I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too but don't come back unless I tell you to." SHIT, it slipped out, I gave myself a mental slap.

"Any deeper with those cuts, you would've needed stitches, keep it covered." He whispered as he looked me up and down before he walked out, closing the door behind him.

I fell backwards on my back and looked over at my arm, he bandaged it very nicely, I sighed and looked up at my ceiling.

Do I forgive him?

Or do I call it off forever?

Or do I chase after him right now and kiss him.

Maybe I should take a week breather before I jump back in, yeah that's what I'm gonna do, hopefully if he's not all over Greengrass again.

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guysss what should we do? i don't want to call it off forever cause this is a draco fanfic lol