Dead Flower

Chapter 36

Tonight was probably the most fun I’ve had since I’ve been born, with no shade thrown at my parents at all. I’ve gone to plenty of parties before, but it wasn’t the kind of party that a child enjoys. If my parents were in the mood to bring me along with them to charity events, or business colleagues parties, I was given the privilege of attending. Of course, I would have my nanny standing next to me and taking care of me while my parents sat down with the adults and discussed business. I didn’t mind attending any of those events, their food was spectacular and I used to get spoiled by the guests at that party, I just wish I had an opportunity to attend a party that was meant for kids. I only ever saw parties on a TV screen and I used to always wonder if they were as fun as they appeared to be. 

I didn’t have to wonder anymore because Mexico was the place to be, at the moment, and I was in the middle of the dancefloor, busting out every move I have and moves I didn’t even know I had as I danced to the music being played. After a very beautiful, tension filled dinner with Gregorio, he had taken me to a salsa club. It didn’t matter that he had excused himself and told me that he would be back in a few minutes as he heads to the restroom, I didn’t wait for him to come back and instead threw myself into the bodies. 

I made eye contact with a man with wildly curly and oily looking hair who looked at me like you would a crazy person. I stuck my tongue out at him, high on God knows what, and began to shimmy my body like I was having a seizure. I probably would have given the man a terrifying show if it wasn’t for Gregorio stepping in and grabbing me by my hand, “alright, I think you have traumatised almost everyone on this dancefloor,” Gregorio commented with a chuckle as I looked up at him. 

I pouted, “but I’m just dancing,” I argued with him. 

He raised an eyebrow as he shook his head, “that’s not dancing, il mio fiore. If I hadn’t known you so well, I would have assumed you were possessed.”

My jaw dropped and my mouth opened wide before I laughed uncontrollably, “really? Was I that bad? I swear today is not my day. I can dance,” I continued to argue but Gregorio didn’t seem too sold by it, “I can dance,” I repeated and he gave me the same stoic face he always does. He seemed to look more handsome than usual, the red dimmed lighting in the club that was our only source of light made him seem like an illusion. 

I placed my hands on his chest and admitted defeat, “okay, maybe I can’t dance that well.” He gave a nod to agree with me, taking my right hand and placing it on his shoulder and taking my left hand into his own. He then placed his other hand on my waist and I sucked in a breath at the skin contact. He pulled me flush against him and gazed deeply into my eyes, immobilising me. 

“Move with me,” he said simply as he began to move his body but at the same time controlling my own. He moved us to the loud, sensual and rhythmic Latin music. My body was melting into his and I was starting to feel hot, both from his intense gaze and the way that he managed to move my hips. 

He started out slowly but he pushed me to dance faster and soon enough we moved as though we had been doing this forever. I could hear the excited shouts and cheers of the crowd as people danced to the music. I let Gregorio spin me around before he dipped me, wrapping my leg around his waist and running his hand up my thigh. I gripped onto his shoulder, looking up at him as he held the position, “now, you can dance,” he commented before he lifted me up and brought me flush against him. I was breathing heavily and I was lost in everything that was Gregorio. 

Gregorio was a manly man who always took charge and as someone who had no direction, I was glad that he was as directive and assertive as he was in certain situations. I always pictured myself to ultimately be with someone who was soft and timid like I was. I never thought that I would ever, in a million years, be with a man like Gregorio. I had been afraid that a man like him would control me and break me, and yes maybe that is exactly what’s happening between Gregorio and I but I didn’t mind it one bit. Is this what love is? Is this why all those girls in movies and story books would act like such idiots and make such silly decisions? Is love allowing that person to destroy you? Is it feeling powerless to that individual because they hold your soul in the palm of their hands? Is it standing in the middle of a salsa club with bodies all around us, but feeling like you’re the only two people in the room? 

I wanted to take charge like he does, even though I knew that he would always be in control. I needed him as close to me as possible and I needed to feel his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck before I stood on my toes and kissed him. He probably knew that this was coming because he was always one step ahead, and he could read me like an open book. He was probably letting me think that I was taking charge while he was still in control and pushing me to do what he wants me to do. 

I loved the feel of his big and secure arms wrapped around my tiny and timid body as we passionately kissed in the middle of the dancefloor. My heart raced, my eyes were closed in bliss and there were tingles wherever he kissed me. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him and I didn’t care for my oxygen. 

I worried for my health and I worried for my future. So much of Gregorio wasn’t good for me because I was a puppet. I needed to get out of the situation but in moments like this with Gregorio, I didn’t want to. I was happy to be his puppet when he had me in his arms and kissed me like we would never be able to see each other again. I want to say that I want to escape but it’s so hard to think that when Gregorio is standing right in front of me. 

A part of me wishes that Gregorio and I had met under different circumstances. I wish that our situation was different and I wish that things were normal, but I knew that if the circumstances were different then there would be no Gregorio and there would be no Gregorio and I. Gregorio is who he is and he’ll probably never charge or it will take some time. I wish that I didn’t have to be working with the CIA to get to my freedom but I value my freedom and I fear too much what will become of me once I become a part of this family. I just wish that he and I were normal lovers, with normal problems and normal lives, but I know that I wish too much. 

When we finally pulled away from each other I had a smile on my face as I looked into his eyes that always revealed nothing, “can we keep dancing?” I asked him as I tried to catch my breath. I was getting so used to looking into his eyes that at this point, I found the most comfort in them even though they provided nothing. “I’m having the time of my life,” I spoke as I looked around to see all the couples dancing around us before I looked back up at Gregorio. I found him looking at me and I don’t think he ever takes his eyes off me. 

He brushed my hair out of my face but those rebellious curls went back to framing my face, “sì, il mio fiore, balliamo.”