Dead Flower

Chapter 38

We had flown back home as soon as the wedding was over and my spontaneous vacation with Gregorio was over. I really enjoyed the time that he and I had spent together but he was a corrupt and busy man that always had work to do and clients to make an example out of. We went back to the routine that was our lives, where I woke up without Gregorio by my side and I had to spend hours of the day by myself. I had a friend, or at least I used to have a friend until I found out that he was using me for information, but he was still a friend, right? Well, even if he wasn’t, we still had to meet up for our “gossip sessions” on the bench like nothing changed or else Gregorio would become suspicious. Or at least that’s what Special Agent Finley says.  

I was sitting on the bench in the botanical garden and taking several deep breaths as I inhaled the sweet, crisp and clean air. I really did love this place and it felt cool and calm when I stepped in here. I never felt alone in a room filled with plants and it felt heavenly for me. My nerves were calmed down because I was worried about my acting. I’m not much of an actress and all it takes is one questioning look in my direction and I will sing to your tune. Special Agent Finley on the other hand was an expert in acting, I mean, it must be part of the job requirement. 

I just prayed that I wouldn’t ruin anything for him when he comes out. I just need to be myself. I can be myself. “la donna di Gregorio,” I heard Luca’s voice say which was so weird since I separated Special Agent Finley from Luca. Luca was more calm, fun and light hearted whereas Special Agent Finley was definitely a CIA agent. 

I looked up at Luca and smiled at him. He looked like he usually did whenever we would sit here and have our talks, he seemed like an average man with an average job living an average life. Wow, he was really good at this. Nothing about him stood out, he was just average and that’s not to insult him or offend him, but you wouldn’t be able to spot him in a crowd, even if you wanted to. It was almost like he was invisible unless he didn’t want to be, which to me, is powerful, “Luca,” I couldn’t mess this up and call him Finley, or else he’ll be dead before we even know it. “hey.”

“May I take a seat?” he asked me and I nodded my head, patting the empty space that I always left for him to fill. He sat down with a grunt, sounding as though he had been on his feet all day and was only getting a break now. “so, how has your week been?” he asked me and I smiled at him. 

“A lot of fun, I went to Mexico.” Maybe I was really lonely and needed a real friend, but it had been pushed to the back of my mind that this was all acting. I didn’t care, I just wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t a Bianchi and it didn’t matter that it was Luca who actually didn’t exist. It felt like the good old times when I would sit here and just tell him about my life. 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, a smile forming on his face, “Mexico? Really? You must have had a lot of fun, I hope.”

I nodded my head, “oh, I had such a great time with Gregorio. It was the first time he and I hung out with each other so much. I’m usually used to seeing him for two hours in a day and that’s at dinner time and after that, I pass out because I’m full. But this time, it was always just the two of us. He took me out to dinner and then we went dancing at a salsa club.”

He chuckled, “I didn’t take Mr Bianchi to be a dancer,” he said teasingly before we both shared a laugh as I grinned. 

“Oh, he can dance, alright,” I leaned in to whisper in his ear, “he can dance real sexy,” I whispered, to which Luca burst into laughter and we shared a smooth fist bump. “ugh, I had so much of fun, Luca. I felt like I was living my best life, surrounded by only happy faces and having a good time…” I smiled bashfully, my eyes meeting his average brown ones, “everything felt alright with the world and I felt like I was just…normal. Is that weird?” I asked him. 

He shook his head, tilting his head as he listened to me. I used Luca as a diary because there was no one other than myself that I had to talk to besides him. I would use him the same way that he was using me because that’s the way that life works. “it’s not weird or wrong of you in any way to want to live life in the best way possible. You have the right to enjoy your life the way that you want to, la donna di Gregorio. No one should ever take that away from you.”

He was right. Gregorio had taken away my freedom and put me in a life that was suitable for him, but it wasn’t much for me. “I just wish that we could have days like that more often than not. Gregorio is never home and I’m always left alone to my own devices. And when I do see him, he barely talks and it just…it’s a lonely life. One that’s much lonelier than the one I used to live.”

I wouldn’t go too much into the wedding that we attended and much of our discussions because it’s not like Special Agent Finley didn’t already know them. I wanted to keep these details to myself because Gregorio is listening in now and I don’t want to disclose any information by mouth, so it doesn’t look like I’m giving away family secrets to strangers. 

Luca pursed his lips before he looked away from me and at the rows of plants around us. “that’s the kind of life you need to get familiar with because that’s how things are with the Bianchi family and any family in power. There will come a time when you prefer silent walls than the sound of gunshots and screams of terror. It’s better to be alone,” he paused as he turned his head to meet my eyes, “than to be surrounded by enemies.”

His words were like a revelation. Gregorio and his family always kept to themselves and had to keep their lives a secret so that they wouldn’t be broken apart and possibly killed because they didn’t know who to trust. Gregorio told me that he didn’t trust anyone and I did believe him, but I didn’t think that I would become the enemy in the same way that Luca described. Even though I wasn’t doing this with malicious intent, I was only doing it so that I wouldn’t have to marry Gregorio, but I would have to betray him and find out as many family secrets as possible before things could go back to normal. I couldn’t let them do this to someone else, so I had to do this. This was for the greater good of mankind. 

The Bianchi’s weren’t exactly angels, they were the bad guys. They were the bad guys who made my father a drug mule and made Nana Daisy’s life a complete hell. It wasn’t fair that they got to live their lives while many others had lost theirs. They had to be brought to justice. 

I wasn’t an enemy, I could never be.