Till the Last Game Do Us Part

Chapter 15

Atherelle's POV

Eztri

My heart pounds hard and loud against my ribcage as I welcome Gaviel's aggressive eyes. We are more silent than usual but now, it is mixed with sorrow and yearning. Hindi ko malaman kung anong ibig niyang sabihin doon. Maybe a girl he likes? Or his ex-girlfriend? I want to ask him but there's one thing stopping me.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go," I said.

He nodded mutely as a sign that he allowed me to go. Dahan-dahan na akong tumalikod at humakbang paalis. I want to look back pero hindi ko na nagawa hangang sa nakalayo na ako.

As I went inside the apartment, I felt like I was too drained. I lazily remove my shoes. As much as I want to sleep, I needed to take a bath first. Feeling ko ang dumi-dumi ko na. Natuyoan ako ng pawis kanina at napawisan na naman pagkauwi. After I settled myself, Emerson called.

"Yes?"

[Are you done eating?] He asked

I went downstairs and turned the lights on before finding food to eat. Gutom na gutom na ako dahil mag alas siyete na ng gabi.

"Kakain pa lang. " sagot ko

[It's almost 7 PM, Zed. H'wag kang nagpapalipas ng gutom]

"Yeah, I know. Natagalan lang sa pag-uwi at naligo pa ako pagkatapos."

While I was waiting for the water to boil, I talked to Emerson. I just decided to eat cup noodles because I don't know how to cook. Wala rin akong malulutuan at hindi ko kayang gamitin ang mga gamit ni Clea ng hindi nagpapaalam.

Emerson asked me about my first day here and I told him it was hard. Kahit pagsakay ng jeep ay sobrang hirap. If it isn't because of Gaviel, baka naabutan na ako ng gabi ay hindi pa ako nakakauwi. 

[Do you want to come back here?] Emerson asked in worry.

"No, it's just my first day. Syempre hindi ako masasanay kaagad."

I heard him sigh [Just tell me if you can't fathom it anymore. I'll bring you back here]

"Don't worry about me too much."

Emerson hang the phone up because of work kaya natahimik na ako bigla. The silence is making me feel like mourning of something. Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko na naging dahilan para ma realize kong nag-iisa ako rito at walang ibang karamay kun'di sarili ko.

My life before flashed back into my mind. The laughter I have every time I played with him. The genuine smile I have when he told me he liked me. Everything.

I miss my previous life. Iyong walang paghihirap na ganito at sakit na ganito. I said I will fight for this, and yes I will, but it doesn't mean I can take these all easily. I am too weak, I cry easily, get broken... and this is so hard for me.

I was crying while eating. Ang hirap at sobrang sakit mawalay ng biglaan sa iyong tahanan. It is still painful, and I don't know when I will get used to this... o masasanay ba talaga ako? I'm afraid not. I left almost everything behind and it's hard moving on to it.

Pero susubukan para maka ahon.

Hindi ko na natapos ang pagkain at dumukdok sa lamesa. It hurts that I can't endure it. I am too weak to set the pain aside and all I could do is anticipate it and sob harder.

Hindi ko alam ilang oras akong umiiyak doon bago naisipang iligpit ang cup noodle na lumamig na ngayon. I put it on the sink and went upstairs to continue breaking down. Hindi ko alam pero nakatulog akong umiiyak.

Mahapdi ang mata ko pagkagising dahil sa sobrang pag-iyak kagabi. I took a heavy sigh before going inside the bathroom, and that's when I notice my neck and my arm. May mga tumutubong bungang araw dito.