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JAKE & SAYA ──────────── ' what could've been '
AUGUST 1ST, 2019
— THERE WERE FIVE THINGS IN the world that Saya Han hated more than the idea that over half of her body was made up of the same liquid that she had sitting in a bottle next to her.
One; Warm soda. Who would voluntarily drink that devil water? She swore with every cell in her body that the can of warm Dr. Pepper she drank when she was eight permanently damaged her liver and at least one of her kidneys.
Two; One-uppers, or whatever you call them. She could not stand an individual who felt so incompetent and threatened by someone else's achievements that they felt the need to put themselves just one level above everyone else.
Three; Ice stakes. Who in the fucking hell put knives on the bottom of their shoes and went 'Ah, yes! This is my greatest accomplishment!'. She would rather rot away in a dumpster on the outskirts of Kentucky before she put on those torture devices. In her words, it was a decapitation waiting to happen.
Four; Animal print. Enough said.
And finally, departing from the people she cared about.
Oh man, was she an expert at getting hooked on the people that would inevitably leave.
It hadn't been the girl's intention to become so attached to the boy, but his naïve smile and curious eyes drew her in to the point of no return. If she had known four months ago that by letting a stranger speak to her, her life would be irrevocably consumed by a certain black-haired boy, Saya would never have gone up to her roof that night.
The four months they spent by each other's side felt as though they had been extracted straight from a drama series. A drama series, however, with a divided fandom caused by the distasteful ending. Unfortunately for them— joyous or not— everything must come to an end eventually. She just never knew something could hurt that badly.
And now here she was, sitting on the same roof where everything started, looking down at the sidewalk with a heavy heart as the shadow of the boy she had grown so fond of lingered over the desolate concrete.
‿‿‿‿
Despite the lack of rest Jake had received in the last three days, his mind stayed eerily awake, preventing him from getting any kind of sleep- which he was in desperate need of. He wished that the reason was insomnia, or perhaps some other uncontrollable occurrence that was created by the chemicals in his brain, but he knew damn well why he was still awake, the time nearing sunrise.
Her.
He knew she was awake as well, and being aware of her consciousness, he couldn't help but wish she'd reach out to him, for him. He hoped her mind wasn't ruined like his, nothing but a clod of dying cells that longed for the touch of someone he couldn't have. The crushing feeling of culpability and cessation was the only substance running through his veins. That girl had changed the way he functioned, the way he thought, his perception of nearly everything had been altered- for the better. And still, a part of him wished they'd never even met in the first place.
The pain that had been brought upon him was unexpected. He had watched people he cared for come and go before, so why was this one taking such a big toll on him? As his throat tightened and his shoulders began to shake, he wished now more than ever that she had never spoken to him that night, that she had spent her evening somewhere far away from him.
Yet still, he wanted to see her one last time, at least to let her know how sorry he was.
But he was better than that. He refused to backtrack and cause her more pain.
He hadn't realized how long he had been thinking about the girl, maybe too long— definitely too long. Blue-coloured light had begun replacing the void darkness that filled the sky merely minutes before. As the sun rose and the residents of his town awoke with it, Jake did quite the opposite. As if he were a nocturnal creature, perhaps an owl of some sort, the black-haired boy felt his eyes grow heavier than before.
Sleep, finally.
Maybe, he hoped, she had finally been able to fall into a temporary rest as well.
