Burden // LS STORY

Part 30.

The next day we had decided to go to the Yorkshire Wildlife park and Liam, Niall and Zayn would be joining us whilst we were there. We had decided to all hang out whilst we were all in the same time outside of the confinements of the college. Zayn thought it may ease my pending friendship with Liam if it was in a less dominating surrounding of school where we all had reputations to uphold.

I haven't been able to get my mind off Harry's phone call all night. He fell asleep not long into the movie and I was too on high alert to sleep. I just laid there for hours staring at him below me, going through all the possible scenarios in my head. I didn't want to just jump in and accuse him of anything without giving it a proper thought. I couldn't do that to our relationship, not yet.

Trust had already been tested on his part and if I accused him of something along the same nature and it turns out to be false, I worry that I will open a whole different can of worms and he will never speak with me again.

As we stroll through the park, Zayn, Liam and Harry are a little ahead of where Niall and I were walking. They were definitely the 'lads' of the group, chasing each other around, pushing each other and kicking dirt. Whereas Niall and I just casually strolled along actually taking in the sights that were around us.

"Nick loved coming to places like this" Niall announced in a casual mumble.

I look over at him and let a friendly smirk come across my face.

"Yeah?" I reply, letting Niall continue if he needed to reminisce.

"He absolutely loved zoos. Hated that they were kept in captivity, but he couldn't hide the love of coming to the zoo. His mum said he was like that from when he was little. He would request that every birthday be spent at a zoo. We upheld that tradition for the 2 years that I was with him as well." He chuckles at the silliness of a 17-year-old wanting to attend the zoo for his birthday.

"That's real lovely Niall." I really didn't know how else to comment. Although I got along really well with Nick, I didn't feel like I allowed myself to actually get to know him. Not the way in which Harry knew him at least. No-one would know him the way that Niall did, but your significant other is always meant to know everything about you.

"He was amazing" he lets out a long sigh and looks up to the sky as we walked.

"I'd love to hear more about him, if you ever wanted to talk." I offer, not really knowing how much time should pass before the healing begins and talking about someone's life becomes more therapy than you could ever imagine.

"What do you want to know?" Niall's smile said that the answer, is now.

"Anything and everything you want to tell me." I reply in a welcoming tone.

"Well, he wanted to be a teacher when he grew up, all his life he so wanted to teach children. Said that a child's brain is the most interesting because they perceive the world in such an unbiased form, that the older we get, the more likely we are to let opinion and preferences guide our judgement rather than fact. I think he would have been an incredible teacher." His tone drops a little on the last part. Recognising that he wouldn't ever do that, grow up.

Someone could spend their entire life dreaming of what they want to be when they are older and never get the opportunity to reach it.

It's sad really.

"His mum use to say that he would drive her absolutely mental. Being an only child, he required so much attention, Mrs Grimshaw said that she was always thankful she never had another child, she wouldn't be able to keep up." He explains, my stomach however, drops.

Niall answered a bunch of my questions however raised a whole lot more. If Nick was an only child that meant that whoever Katie is, is related to Kyle. Hearing Harry admit that he loved Kyle was a hard pill to swallow.

In an attempt to give Harry the benefit of the doubt, I convinced myself it was Nick's sister and that he loved him in the same way he loved Niall, and the same way I loved Zayn. Just as part of the family.

But not knowing much of the relationship between Kyle and Harry, I didn't really know what that love would entail for both Kyle and his sister.

"You alright?" Niall suddenly breaks my train of thought, obviously depicting the change in my attitude.

"Sorry Ni, can I ask you something?" I quickly add. Feeling slightly guilty for interrupting his memory lane travels.

"Yeah, of course!" he replies.

"Did you know Kyle very well?" I look up at him to see his reaction. He forms the corners of his lips into a small smirk.

"Yeah, I knew Kyle. He used to be a part of our group. Just before you showed up, but he and Harry had some fall out and then yeah they stopped hanging out, but I'm pretty sure they were on good terms though, in the end" Niall explains.

I have a few more questions that I am hesitate to ask, but I really do need to know the answer to.

"They were on good terms, I caught Kyle sucking off Harry just before he and I were thrown into confinement!" I add, not really knowing whether or not Niall knew that.

By the look of his wide eye and jaw drop, I'm guessing he didn't.

"No fucking way!" he gasped. "That is, erm, interesting"

I look at him with concern.

"Really? Why?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Well, you know Harry thought he was straight before you right, well so did you for that matter, he use to have a thing with Kyle's sister!"

My throat instantly became dry and my lips parted in shock.

"What?" I gasp.

"Yeah, they were together for a while, by my understanding they broke up not long before you arrived, I think that was what the whole tension was about between he and Kyle. I don't think it was a nice breakup."

I fear answers that I already know in my gut to be true.

"What is her name, Niall?" I ask in a low tone.

"Erm, Katie I think" he searches his memory.

I feel everything in me drop.

Harry was on the phone to Kyle's sister last night. Harry said he loved Kyle, Harry said he loved her! Harry said that he was going to see her again in Holmes Chapel next week. But I was going to be with him next week.

It didn't sound like exes talking if you ask me. It sounds like their relationship is still very much alive and well.

Even though 100 of my questions had been answered, I feared all the answers to the new ones that had popped up.

How was I going to act normal around Harry now, knowing what I know?

How was I going to continue being intimate with him when I feel there is a whole part of his life that I know nothing about. We always talked about me and my family, we never really discussed his.

Of course, just when I think it is all going great, we get thrown another curve ball.

Does the universe just not want us to be together?