No Guilt

Chapter 7.

Devon

He's doing what he always does, trying to read me. Looking me into my eyes to decide whether or not I'm smart enough to catch his lie. Those green eyes flooding my brown ones. He's draining the light out of them, what the fuck? I know that face of his, he can read me by my eyes but I can read the way he reacts. Shifting uncomfortably with our knees bumping each other, I knew what I asked him wouldn't have gotten an honest reply, I wish it wasn't like that but there's something so wrong with Harry and I can't see a relationship with him if we don't get past this bump that he's making harder to cross.

It would have been so much easier if I didn't love you.

"So is this what our relationship is going to be now?" I ask when he stops looking at me. He turns his head away from mine slightly, now eyeing the nightstand with white powder dusted over, one that I know too well.

"I don't know what you want me to say, baby," palming his forehead, Is he not getting the memo?

"I want the truth, that's all I'm asking. Be vulnerable with me, please. You keep saying I won't stay with you but you don't know," I try pulling his face to look at mine but he retaliates against my touch.

He stays silent for too long, I can't fucking do this; not right now at least. I get up, ready to turn but before I walk towards the door I stop in my spot moving my body back to face him, slapping him across the cheek out of hurt, he doesn't even trust me enough to talk to me about his past after I told him about my parents. I know he didn't force me to tell him but I didn't expect him to be so distant.

My fingers tingling with friction and fire afterward, at least he's finally looking at me now. I regret doing that and he knows it, we never resort to violence; we're toxic but not abusive. I keep my gaze on his clenched jaw and a slight smirk that's forming between his soft lips, his mouth opens and in a swift motion he grabs my hips with forces clawing into my ass, meeting my face with his and connecting our mouths.

With the feeling of his lips against mine, my cheek can sense his burning one; that was my fault.

Fuck I feel guilty.

The sensation I feel as he slides his tongue to meet the surface of mine, grabbing my hips down to sit on him; my body now cradling his. I know what he's doing, he's trying to make me forget it all with sex. Two can play at this game.

I stretch my arms out from besides my hips to his neck, reaching into his hair and twisting the strand behind his right ear around my finger, shifting on his lap and creating friction between his restrained dick and my throbbing center, don't get turned on dev you're supposed to be teasing him for fucks sake.

Between our kisses his moans get heavier and less patient, forcing his tongue deeper down my throat. "Fuck...fuck Dev stop grinding over my cock or I'll take you right here," he practically breathes the sentence out not even speaking. He pulls my hips down harder to his center and I throw my hands from out his hair into his chest. Gathering myself up to stand and off the bed; off his lap. "You're not getting your way Harry," I whisper enough to send shivers down his spine. He gapes at me, probably trying to contain his anger and embarrassment right now. Too bad Harry, too fucking bad.

I walk towards the door making sure my hips sway in a seductive motion. Stopping at the door I look at Harry, his head picking back up as I start to speak, "If you don't learn how to trust me with your past, you won't be in my fucking future Harry, figure your shit out. I'm sick and tired of you, you fucking jump at me for calling you "Harold" then won't tell me why after. I come into this room hearing you gasping for air as if your choking, it scares the shit out of me. We're dating, not fuck buddies; there's no relationship if all you wanna do is have sex and not communicate."