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XLV : dear Ashton

(A/N) Quick Authors note. Oh shit.

Luke POV

My day with Anna, was perfect, just like the night before that, and we ended up cuddling on the couch with a half-gallon of ice cream, watching episodes of House.

"He's such a bastard." I point out about Dr. House. "And this is so unrealistic."

Anna's jaw drops.

"You can't make fun of my favorite TV show and expect to get away with it Luke." She says, crossing her arms and scooting away from me.

"I'm kidding, I love this show, I'd just much rather do something with you." I say, licking my lips and then taking my bottom lip between my teeth, scanning her body up and down.

She lightly smacks my chest and rolls her eyes.

"Oh c'mon babe."

"I'd much rather watch house and get fat on ice cream than do something with you right after you basically just insulted my life."

"You're so stubborn." I say with a huff, taking the ice cream from her and placing it on the coffee table before walking to Anna and picking her up in my arms. And carrying her to her room before placing her on her bed, crawling on top of her, and start to kiss her neck, right above her collarbone where she loves it most.

Her hands wind themselves in my already messy hair, and the motion starts to turn me on instantly.

I moan slightly and smile against her skin as her hands go from my hair to my body. As much as I don't want to ruin the moment, and the friction that's being created between us, we need a condom.

"Babe, where's my wallet?" I ask her, pulling back and staring straight into Anna's beautiful eyes. You didn't think I would come unprepared.

"On my desk." She says, pulling me back down for a quick peck on the lips.

"Thank you beautiful."

She smiles as I carefully get off of Anna and walk over to her desk, where papers are scattered around carelessly.

But then something catches my attention.

It starts with the words, Dear Ashton.

That bastard.

My eyes quickly scan over the beginnings of the letters.

Dear Ashton,

I don't think that you know how much you mean to me. If we are being honest, I never was a Luke girl. He was probably my least favorite out of the band. You on the other hand were my breath. The one thing that kept me alive, the constant shallow movement that kept me moving.

Dear Ashton,

Thank you for the letter, it really means a lot. I am also glad that I was able to be with you some of the time while I was there. Spending time with you really means a lot to me. In some ways I wish that it was you who had found me. It was you who had broken my heart and put it all back together, because, you can do that. You have before without even knowing.

Dear Ashton,

Hello. I guess. Thank you for bringing me and Luke back to together, the gesture means a lot to me. I'm glad that we got to know each other better over the best movies in the world and the best food in the world. I may not know you as good as I know Luke, but just like you want to know me, I would definitely would like to get to know you better as well. I wish we had the time to do that.

Three letters all addressed to Ashton, with true feelings written on them.

"Luke?" Anna asks, sitting up on her elbows on her bed, her face confused.

I swallow my spit, set down my wallet, and grab the letters, talking back over to Anna, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

"Dear Ashton." I begin. "I don't think that you know how much you mean to me. If we are being honest, I never was a Luke girl. He was probably my least favorite out of the band. You on the other hand were my breath. The one thing that kept me alive, the constant shallow movement that kept me moving."

Anna sucks in a harsh breath, tears flood both of our eyes.

And just when I thought we had fixed our problems.

"I love you. But I know that I can never tell you that. I know that nothing can ever happen between us because of what is happening between me and Luke. I'm sorry." I continue.

"Luke stop." She pleads, reaching for the letters, but I blink my tears down on them.

"I wish that it was you who had messaged me. If it was you, nothing bad would have happened. It would have been you, me and butterflies. Butterflies all over. Thank you for being my breath. Thank you for being my life. Thank you. I love you." I keep going until the end of the letter, before I'm about to full out cry.

"Love, Anna." Is the last thing I say, going to the next letter, my eyes scanning over it, tears still running down my face.

"What is this?" I ask, throwing the letters harshly on the ground. "I thought we fixed everything, I thought this was never going to happen, you said that you didn't love him. You said you loved me. Anna, you're tearing me apart."

She starts to cry silently, her shoulders shaking, not being able to meet me in the eye.

"I'm sorry." She chokes out.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time." I say, my voice cracking with tears.

"I know." She says.

I stand up and slip on my shoes, grabbing my wallet and slipping it into my back pocket.

"I'm gunna go."

She doesn't say anything as I walk out of the room.

Sebastian sits on the couch and when he sees me, he almost says something, but then I shake my head and walk out the door, and then walk to the corner, where I text my driver to pick me up, while I sit there and wonder where it all went wrong.