wattpad ➳ l.h. [completed]

XXXVlll : moments

He told me that he'd do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes to convince me that he loved me.

Whatever it takes to show me that he's truly sorry.

Deep down, I really wanted to believe him. I truly did. But something inside me that it was going to take so much in order for me to forget the past, and forgive.

I didn't know how he would make things up, but I believed that he would somehow.

I went home on Sunday, Luke's touch still infecting my body, crawling all over my skin. The feelings that he gave me where something that I for one had never felt before and two, hoped to feel many times again.

The way his lip ring slid against my lips, the way his hands touched and caressed the right spots. The moans we both had because of each other. They were all beautiful, his body tightly pressed against mine, the way our hips would grind perfectly in time.

I wanted nothing more than to stay with him forever. Forever.

I wished that he could have come back to New York. He wanted too.

He told me so.

He also showed me how much he wanted me to either stay with him, or to go with me.

It makes me glad that Valentine's Day is coming up soon.

He kept saying that he had a surprise for me.

It didn't matter how much I told him that I hated surprises, he wouldn't budge. He wouldn't even give me a hint.

I bothered him until he had to kiss me to get me to shut up.

His hands ran through my hair as his eyes stared straight into me as he told me, "I can't tell you."

I would pout, I tried to refuse him kisses. Let him go through withdrawal, but nothing worked. And in the end, the only person who went through withdrawal was me. I needed Luke.

He would hover over me while I laid on his bed and kiss my forehead while I tried to convince him that telling me would get him on my good side. He laughed at me and then kissed me hardly.

His lips were the key to forgetting everything. His touch poison.

"Why do you torture me?" I would ask him.

"Because I'm mean, and I like to see you squirm." He told me as he tickled my side.

I would squeal and slip out from underneath him, running to the other side of the room, Luke hot on my trail.

He would catch me and hold me against him.

"I torture you because I know that you'll love it even more if I wait to tell you."

I slipped my hands underneath his shirt and rubbed my hands on his tight stomach, and then traced patterns into the skin before biting my lip, looking up at him, and then pulling his shirt off of him.

He'd quickly tossed it across the room and then would pick me up, taking me back to the bed for more kisses.

I smile like an idiot on the plane back to New York, memories and moments filling my mind.

These are the moments that I will treasure most. I will have them forever.

Even if things don't work out, being with Luke will have been my first love. That is something that can never be replaced.

There are certain moments in my life that I wish to forget. And then there are some that I never want to leave my mind.

Slowly, something's will fade.

The first thing that'll you'll forget is their voice.

Then, all of those little things that your eyes overpassed when you still saw them.

Laughs and sobs will leave your mind like an overflowing bathtub.

But with Luke, I don't want anything to leave. I don't want to forget. I want to remember forever.

I grabbed my bag from the carry-on section, and was going to pull out my journal, new inspiration for a story slowly forming when a letter fell out, addressed to me.

Anna,

Hi. I guess. I don't really know where to begin. I wanted to thank you for coming to see Luke in the hospital. I know that if you hadn't the boys and I would have heard nothing but you coming from his lips the moment he woke up. I know that forgiving him must be really hard on you, and I wanted to let you know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I always be here. I know that I don't really know you as good as Luke does, but would like too. Maybe I could grab some more ice cream and you could grab another Nicholas Sparks movie, and we could cry, laugh and talk over it.

I also want to apologize for telling you my feelings for you. That was out of line and inappropriate. I know that you like Luke and I definitely know that Luke likes you. Where I stand in that relationship is none of my business.

I hope that you have a good plane ride back, and I also hope to see you soon.

Love,

Ashton

At the end of reading that I wanted nothing more than to call him and tell him that he can tell me anything. He seemed so torn up after we talked, and now I know why. He always puts others before himself, and he doesn't realize the toll that it's taking on him.

I grab my journal and instead of writing down my idea, I write back to Ashton.

I write a letter I never intend to send to him, a letter I never intend for him to see. But I needed to get it out.

Dear Ashton,

I don't think that you know how much you mean to me. If we are being honest, I never was a Luke girl. He was probably my least favorite out of the band. You on the other hand were my breath. The one thing that kept me alive, the constant shallow movement that kept me moving.

I love you.

But I know that I can never tell you that.

I know that nothing can ever happen between us because of what is happening between me and Luke.

I'm sorry.

I wish that it was you who had messaged me.

If it was you, nothing bad would have happened.

It would have been you, me and butterflies.

Butterflies all over.

Thank you for being my breath. Thank you for being my life. Thank you.

I love you.

Love,

Anna.

(A/N)

So I probably got about 11 hours of sleep the entire weekend. So I'm pretty fucked up

PLUS VALENTINES DAY WAS AMAZING.

I got to talk to my crush a lot.