Saving Her

Chapter 12: Silence

Clary
What could I say? 'Jace I'm sorry but I've been broken' 'I'm sorry that I can't sleep'
I was so sorry, I couldn't breathe when I was around him. Much less speak. I couldn't speak to anyone. What could I possibly say? That I was weak? Broken? And no longer only Jaces?
Azle haunted my dreams, always. And here I stood, his knife through my stomach. He twisted, and pulled it out. Leaving a kiss on my cheek.
The rain fell, seemingly slower as I began to feel what had happened. Slow-motion I watched the rain fall.
Jace sprinted towards me. I could scarcely breathe. I fell to the ground only to be caught by Jace's strong arms.
I shook my head, willing my mouth to product the words of 'I'm sorry' but nothing came. I couldn't speak.
"No, no it's not your fault. Never think that"
He shouted something to someone. Then there was a portal there. I looked into Jace's golden eyes, and hair. Black dots began to surface in my sight.
I became scared, of dying. Of being left as nothing but a memory. Of never seeing Jace... And then there was nothing.

Jace
I sat on the infirmary bed holding her close to me. Magnus was working. I buried my lips through her hair and kissed her head, my hand threaded through hers.
"Clary. Please stay with me. I love you, I need you."
Then she twitched, and cried out in pain. Magnus was working, but I had to watch her feel and hurt, helpless to stop it.
She cried out again as he poured the disinfectant over it.
"Shh, it's okay my dear."
She reached for something, still asleep. Reached for it, as if she was in another place. Magnus was wrapping her wound.
Then she had tears streaming down her cheeks. Why was she always reaching for something in her dreams.
Magnus stopped and looked up at me.
"She'll be fine, with time, she should have little movement."
I sighed, and stroked her hair. She moved slightly, and took a deep breath, gasping.
"Clary?"
She opened her eyes.
"Clarissa Fray, don't you ever do that to me again."
She smiled, but winced.
"Rest now. I'll watch over you."
She nodded, and closed her eyes. I sighed, laying still and listening to her breathe, until I finally closed my eyes.

Clary
I awoke. Jace had fallen asleep beneath me. I got up carefully trying not to wake him. I slipped out of bed, and immediately winced. My hand moved to my stomach, which was wrapped. I sighed and walked out of the infirmary.
I went past my room, and grabbed a jacket from my closet.
It was bitter outside, as I stood in the green house the cold penetrating the walls of it. I sat just below the plant where I had first picked that dark flower.
I sat below it, thinking about everything that had happened. I pulled the jacket against myself. Then I heard footsteps from outside.
Quickly, I ducked, hiding among the plants. I watched Alec walk in, and grab something from one of the plants. He then left the room.
I sighed, and pulled my legs closer to my chest. I couldn't breathe, I lifted my shirt slightly, and saw the wrapping had now been bled through.
I fell onto my side, silent. I knew I should yell for help, but nothing came out of my mouth. I could feel more pain coming from the wound as well as blood pooling beneath me.
I coughed, and reached for something, anything, but found nothing. Once again, the light was pulled from my vision, no matter how hard I struggled against it.
How stupid can I be?