Ultraviolet

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Core

Hadeon left me alone for the rest of last night and the entire day today, which I hated more than if he had grilled me over what happened or chastised me. Jess offered to give me a couple days off, which I turned down, and hadn't asked about my date. I guess Hadeon told her about my little meltdown.

It was one in the afternoon and I needed to take my mind off the realisation that I'll probably be forever alone.

"Jess?" I called out as I walked into the living room. Her and Hadeon were talking about something that looked serious, but stopped when I walked in. "Do you need any groceries?"

"I guess, I was going to go shopping on the weekend. Why?"

"I'm bored and wanna go do something. I'll go shopping for you."

"I'll go too." Hadeon spoke up. "I have some things I need to get too."

I stared at Hadeon, trying my best to figure out if this was a trick to get me alone so he can interrogate me. He just smiled lightly, a gesture that was very clearly foreign to him.

"Oh, get some donuts and coffee too. Maybe our, uh, security guards will be in a better mood if we give 'em some sugar and caffeine."

"Fine," Hadeon mumbled, already headed out the door.

I said goodbye to my sister and followed him out, staring at the tour dates of a band I'd never heard of on the back of his hoodie.

"Why'd you decide to come?" I questioned as we walked over to his car that was parked around the back of the building.

"I said. I need to get some things."

"Sure." I muttered, stepping into the passengers seat.

He laughed as he stuck his keys into the ignition.

"What?" I demanded. "Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing, it's just... you think I have to have some nefarious motive."

"Not nefarious." I grumbled. "But something."

I stared out the window as the city passed by. When I lived with my grandparents, once a month we'd trek out to Albion to visit the cemetery half my grandmothers family was buried. Though the day seemed inherently morose, we made it respectfully fun. Albion is where generation after generation of Spitiks lived, so we went to my great aunt Sherry's favourite cafe and bought her go-to drink, then we walked to the park where my grandmothers father proposed to her mother, and then stopped by any place remotely memorable to her family. I loved the family tradition, but hadn't been since my grandparents passed and not long after that the entire town underwent an extreme renovation. I drove through with the Wilkes' once and barely recognised it.

I'm not sure why, but as we drove through Boston now, I can't stop thinking about how many people there are here, and how many of the places we passed were someones aunts favourite pizzeria or someones cousins go to coffee shop.

I think the overwhelming discontentedness I was feeling might be... homesickness.

"Did you grow up here?" I asked Hadeon, breaking the minutes of silence we'd been sitting in. He turned, distrust in his deep brown eyes. "I was just curious." I sighed.

Hadeon turned back, eyes on the road, and cleared his throat. "Yes."

"What was it like? Growing up in a city?"

"Shit." He grumbled.

"Because of Boston?" I questioned. I couldn't imagine he'd still be living here if the city was the problem.

"Its a big city." His hands tightened on the wheel. "And you've only seen the good parts."

"If it's so shit, why not leave?" As soon as I spoke, my mind reminded me that he sleeps on Jess's sofa. He probably can't afford to leave. "Sorry, that's none of my business."

"Jess and Jack are the closest thing I have to family. I'm not just going to fuck off because I have bad memories here. It's a lot easier when you have nothing."

"Yeah, life is great when you're all alone." I spat back sarcastically.

"Are you saying you had no one back in Nebraska." He challenged. "No family, no friends?"

"Thats exactly what I'm saying. I didn't have any family left and I've never had any friends. I didn't even know that Jessica existed until hours before I left for Boston."

"How'd you get out here then?" He questioned. "You already told us you've never had a job, how did you afford the bus trip?"

"I was just trying to get to know you a little better! Why did this turn into an interrogation?"

"I'm trying to find out more about you. Particularly what you did to warrant a change of name and relocation."

"Why?"

"Because I won't let you hurt my family." He breathed.

I sighed, shrinking down in my seat. I truly believed Hadeon's paranoia was in the past. That he might have finally learnt to trust me.

"Jess and Jack, they are all I've got. Then you come along, and Jess lets you just walk into her home because of a letter you easily could have fabricated, and all I know about you is that you changed your name, I can't find any proof you've ever even existed, and Jessica and the bar have been getting calls from Nebraskan numbers asking for a girl named Esme."

I felt like I was falling even though the car was stopped in the centre of traffic and bile was slowly creeping up my throat.