Paint the Town Red

Pigs Don't Have Opposable Thumbs

Spider-Verse Group Chat

Pete: hypothetically speaking, how would i ask someone out?

Peter B: Hypothetically speaking, how the actual @#$%^&* do I deal with a giraffe loose in Midtown???

Miguel: ur name's too long hold up

Miguel has changed Peter B's name to B

Peni: uh

B: I am going to murder that raccoon

Miles: animal cruelty

B: Rocket

Pete: that makes more sense

B has left the chat

Gwendy: rip ig

Miguel: have fun

Miles: im confused, who's rocket?

Miles: Update: sam and kamala told me he's a speaking raccoon from outer space

Peni: i don't know what to do with that information

Noir: who are sam and kamala?

Miles: my squad

Miles:

Miles: sam is on the left, kamala in the middle

Peni: noice

Miguel: wait just a shocking moment

Miguel: whats this about pete wanting to ask someone out?

Pete: hypothetically

Noir: is it mary jane?

Pete: NO, it's someone else!

Miles: so it's not hypothetical

Pete: stfu

Gwendy: it's johnny storm, isn't it

Pete: maybe

Miguel: wait, you actually like that bithead?

Gwendy: hold up

Gwendy: is Ham on this group chat???

Peni: no, he doesn't have opposable thumbs

Miles: i-

Gwendy: ...

Pete: i knew that, but also did not

Pete: i feel bad

Peni: wait, i just dropped by his dimension

Peni: apparently, he defies all laws of nature, and does have a phone

Miguel: I'll be jammed!

Peni has added Peter Porker

Peni has changed Peter's Porker's name to Ham

Ham: Who the f### added me to a f###### group chat?

Pete: o-o *Captain America Voice*

Pete: LANGUAGE

Miles: Yeah watch your f###### language

Miguel: OKAY WHO TAUGHT MILES THE F### WORD?

Peni: "The f### word"

Noir: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Gwendy: Oh my god he censored it

Ham: Say f### Noir

Noir: no

Gwendy: Do it, Noir. Say f###.

Noir: you're all mean

Noir: only ding-ding appreciates me. she understands

Peni: who's ding-ding?

Noir:

Pete: YOU HAVE A CAT???

Miles: I LOVE HER ALREADY

Noir: I'll bring her over next time

Ham: i don't like cats

Peni: you wouldn't

Miguel: so, Pete, what's this about a Johnny Storm?

Pete has left the chat

B: alright, what did I miss