𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇: 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Season 6, Chapter 17 (revised)

Chairman: "Dear Director."

Fade in to Church, Ash, and Wash.

Chairman: "It is now clear, that your agency and its primary program "Project Freelancer" have abused the trust and freedoms that the Oversight Sub-committee has provided you. Your abuse of the Alpha A.I. will now become the subject of a criminal investigation. I am sorry, Director, but you have seen the end of my patience."

Church, Ash, Zeta, and Wash look at each other silently before we cut to Simmons typing at Terminal 84-C - Administrator Access Only.

Sarge: "What're you finding out, guys?"

Simmons: "Looks like all the Blue records are here, we just don't have the access to delete them."

Arizona: "We're trying to work around that right now, but Freelancer's cranked up their security."

Grif: "Ooh, try hacking the mainframe."

Simmons: "This isn't a mainframe system."

Grif: "How 'bout cracking it, would cracking it work?"

Simmons: "Grif shut up! Stop making suggestions when you have no idea what you're talking about."

Grif: "Well, if you want help-"

Arizona: "We don't want your help."

Grif: "Maybe you should explain what's going on, and I could make an educated suggestion."

Simmons: "Educated? Okay, fine. This computer is a dedicated interface with a highly developed security protocol. The information we are accessing is stored on a separate database with its own dedicated hardware. That system has its own distinct layer of security. From what I can tell, the two systems verify their identities by trading randomly generated two thousand fifty-six bit encryption keys. Arizona and I tryin' to spoof one of those keys right now."

Arizona: "So, Grif. We're all ears. Any suggestions?"

Grif: "Oh yeah, I've seen that before. You should try uploading a virus to the mainframe.

Simmons/Arizona: "Jesus."

Grif: "I find viruses that feature a laughing skull tend to work the best."

Simmons/Arizona: "Shut the fuck up and let us work!"

Cut back to Church and Wash

Church: "You're a fucking idiot."

Washington: "That's not the reaction I expected."

Church: "You think I'm a computer program?"

Washington: "Why is that hard to believe?"

Church: "Uh, how 'bout 'cause I'm a person! That I have been my whole life? That I have memories from when I was a kid? And I don't remember being a calculator, dude."

Washington: "A.I. are programs based on an actual human mind. You're bound to have some residual memories. They're just not yours."

Church: "Oh, you're so full o' shit."

Washington: "And after what you've been through its not hard to imagine you wouldn't believe-"

Church: "Oh, st- thi- give me a break, dude."

Washington: "Okay, fine. I guess you being a spirit makes more sense."

Church: "Fuck yeah, it does. It's way less geeky, asshole. Also because I don't think so,"