"All I want is nothing more but to feel your love Jen. And for sure you didn't fail to make me feel that way even in a short period of time, and I'm very grateful for that. And I promise, I will love you with all of me, because I don't want your love to be wasted." she said trying her best not to broke her voice despite her vulnerable state. She wiped my tears with her thumb before continuing." I remember the first time Jen, when I saw your face and God! I thought Aphrodite just came in our classroom. I remember the first time I saw you smiling, tho I'm not reason of it but thank you because you're the reason behind my smile at that time until now, so I promise myself that I want you to wear that beautiful smile everyday and this time I want to be the reason with it. I remember the first time that I'm nervous yet happy while waiting for you outside your gigantic gate because that's the first time that I took you out. And heavens know I had a very beautiful night that time. And even said to myself you are the one that time. Pathetic right? Until I have you, I think I am the most lucky person in the world, yet I AM"
"why are you saying this?" I question because even tho, how sweet her confession it doesn't make me feel relieve and secure especially she's half smiling while talking. She didn't respond to my question, instead she continued to talk.
"but you know for once, I just, I hope I can break your heart, Jen. Just like how I feel right now, I hope I can bring you down, But I can't"
"Lisa, please stop" I said with my sobs but she didn't listen to me.
"I-I hope I can make you cry so hard Jen, that you could barely breath. So maybe you just might know what it feels to be me."
"Baby, I'm sorry please. Stop now please." I hugged her tightly even though I'm struggling of the umbrella I'm holding.
"but I cannot do it to you, and I dont want to do it to you because my feelings for you is the purist thing that I pour to you. I love you." she cupped my face to meet her gaze. "I love you so much Jennie. The world doesn't deserve you because you're too good to live with it and you doesn't deserve it's cruelty. But you deserve so much the world because you make everyone happy around you. But I guess I'm not the world that deserve you because you wouldn't do it, if you're genuinely happy to me." she kissed my forehead. " I think we need both space Jen, to think what or who really makes us happy"
"Im happy with you baby. Please dont make me think you're breaking up with me Lisa. Please don't, please I'm begging you. I'm sorry I really don't like what happened. Please Honey, Please."
"I'm not tired of loving you Jen, I'm just tired of being hurt over and over again. I don't know why it keeps happening, but maybe I'll just enjoy it so that I can somehow be....immune" she let out a forceful smile. her words are stabbing me right through my chest, it's like Zeus has struck me his lightning bolt to punish me. "I hope I can go back to the time where we started, because at first we were happy. But yeah I remember when we first meet, you are no longer happy. I even remeber how you yelled at me that time, But still I like you."
"Please, Lisa. I will right my wrong doing, just don't leave me please. I Love you so much"
"do you really love me Jen?" she asked
"Of course baby. I Love you so much, you don't have Idea how much I love you." I retort without hesitation
"or you just love me, because I love you first?" it hurts when she even questioned my love for her. It hurts me but I can't blame her because I'm the one who hurt her first. "Even if there's less than one percent chance to find my happiness, its a chance I'm willing to take" She wipe her tears away and tilt her head that maybe it will subside the liquid dripping from her eyes. She then meet my gaze again "Even I have to let you go" she walked away, leave me dumbfounded and that makes me crumble in my feet. I want to run and hug her tightly, maybe it could help to change her mind. But I cannot move, I'm like being hypnotised with her words. It's like some bad guys stab me to death. I feel defeated without even fighting. I am broken yet defeated.
YOU ARE READING
Over You
Fanfiction"Even if there's less than one percent chance to find my happiness, its a chance i'm willing to take"
