Confused

Chapter 15

It's Monday ugh. the only good things about Monday is that I get to see dix and Nathan. Dix is amazing we've been friends since fifth grade. the only friend I have like her is from Kansas, her name is Katherine (Kat!) they are my 5 foot nothing adorable bisexuals. Dix lives in the same town but Kat and I talk all the time. They are like the only people who can make me feel better when I'm a mess. other than Nathan. Nathan and I have a really...unique relationship. we flirt and text and are pretty funny when we hang but that's it. I don't know if he likes me. I don't know if I like him. when ever I asked him who he likes, he'd say I don't really like anyone right now. I was okay with that. Nathan is cute. he's adorable actually. I'm older than him but only by 2 weeks. he's super flirty and super funny and just a total dork. I love the kid. I would date him. he is tall and slim and has dark hair. the fact that he doesn't want any tattoos is a let down though.

I get to third period, English. this is one of the only classes I have with dix. I get to my seat and wait for her to get to class. when she walks in the door I pounce on her! "HEY DIXXXX!" I half yell at her.
"Uhm...hi kait you seem rather...spunky." She says back to me confused.
"Guess what happened this weekend!" I say with a huge grin.
"What? Did you kill someone!?"
"Nope...I kissed someone!"
"Really? That's why you're so excited a kiss?"
"Well...yeah...it was the first time I've made out with someone." I say less excited.
"Okay so?"
"Can't you just pretend!"
"Fine tell me all about it."
Naturally I gab her ear off about it. she looks at me and is actually paying attention and then somehow we get really far off topic, and start talking about how beemo does weird shit on adventure time. that's what I love about our friendship, we can be so dumb and we just don't care at all.

It's our last period of the day now, chorus the one class I genuinely try in, unless I'm sick or pissed off. It is also the only class I have with Nathan. He's so cute, pervy, funny, and just amazing.
Nathan is the most amazing person in the world. I feel bad though because I'm still in love with Luke and we kissed. i don't want Nathan to fall for me even though it's just a fantasy. two guys wanting me...yeah right!

"All right so who wants to try out for the solo? Just for today, I won't choose for a few weeks." Ms.Hansen says to the class. I want to raise my hand but I keep it down I know I'm not as good as Jasmine Astre or Sara Keltridge. they are the two best and they know it. "Kaitlyn I want you to sing it." Ms. Hansen says to me.
"Why her? Didn't you see my hand up!? I can do it!" Sara whines.
"I know Sara I saw it, I always see it. I want to hear kaitlyn, she has a good voice and she deserves a chance. what do you say kaitlyn?" She says.
"Uhm...um...I-I don't know if I c-can." I finally manage to get out.
"Just go up to Mr. Anderson and follow the notes okay?"
"Um sure I guess."
"Alright and I know you know the words you haven't used music since the second day we got it so you should be alright."
I go up to the piano and look at Mr.Anderson. He plays the intro it's so familiar, it's like holding something familiar delicate like a flower petal. I open my mouth and the words pour out of me. the whole room is quiet and when I'm done everyone starts clapping, I look up and then everything goes black.