Why would she do that to herself!? Doesn't she know I love her? No she doesn't! God I love her, but I don't want Stephanie to get mad, but she doesn't care! But she could come back and if she does I don't want to be in a relationship with someone else. god I love them both so much, but I told kait I only wanted to be friends God I just so dumb!
Maybe I should message steph, but she knows I love her, she'll never love me back, and kait seems to have brother zoned me but I guess that's what I get for not telling her I'm into her when she said she liked me. I'm an idiot.
Maybe if i were there more often, she would see how much I love her, maybe if I didn't joke around when ever she tells me something serious she'd see. I should be more caring, I have to be! I mean can't she see how much I want her? How much I want to hold her in my arms and tell her it's going to be okay? How much I want to be there for her always? Maybe I'm just not good enough. she knows all my secrets, and I know hers. She doesn't judge me, she doesn't call me names, she accepts me. Stephanie and I were never this close but we had fun, she let me finger her and I probably could've gone farther, but kait is different, she doesn't want sex to have sex she wants love and I don't think I'm good enough for her. I don't want to loose her, I don't want to use her either.
I should've kept the conversation going, I shouldn't just stop typing and not replying, but then I might let it slip that I am in love with her. she is like a perfect little flower, waving in the wind on a warm summer day, or maybe like a breeze on a cool spring night, gentle and warm, something you want to keep around you always. unless you scare her. then it's like a car coming to a halt right before ass-ending someone else, she's always so timid and afraid, you can't get to close but you don't want to keep your distance, I wouldn't hurt her but I feel as if someone has. maybe I don't know everything, maybe it is just anxiety, either way I'd never do anything to hurt her. ever.
YOU ARE READING
Confused
RomanceKaitlyn is a 15 year old girl who feels alone, sad, cold, and depressed. She falls for two of her best friends and has no idea what she's doing. So enjoy.
