Confused

Chapter 19

Mmmph I groan as I lay back down in bed and curl up in a ball. Why is all of this so confusing? Why did Luke kiss me? Why did Nate kiss me? Why do I care? Why do they care? Why can't I just disappear? Ugh i can't figure this out. All these thoughts are going through my head when I get a text, "Dix😘💜🐯 text message" appears on my phone screen.
"I heard you passed out, are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine but something crazy happened"
"YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY!?"
"Um....no"
"Damn, what happened?"
"Well, Nathan came over and we got into an argument in my bedroom..."
"And you had hot wild goat sex?!?"
"Dix focus!"
"Sorry, what happened?"
"We kissed"
"Whore! First you kiss Luke now you kiss Nate, come on girly."
"I am not a whore ma'am."
"I know XD but what are you gonna do? You can't date both of them unless you secretly are a hoe."
"But I'm not dating either of them"
"Well obviously they are interested."
"See I don't know I mean what if it was a friend kiss???"
"Kait. we both know there is no such thing as a friend kiss unless it was on the cheek."
"I am so confused."
"Well who do you have a crush on?"
"I don't know"
"Um who would take care of you?"
"Dix they both would you little kitten."
"Omg you're such a virgin."
"I know but this sacrifice is very confused."
"XD I love you kait, idk just fuck one and date the other."
"Dix that's not gonna work."
"I know *pinches cheeks* but I have to go we are about to eat."
"Okay :( bye."
"Bye."
So I text Luke instead.
"Hey!"
'Luke typing..."
'Message from Luke' my stomach always gets a little jittery when he replies.
"Hi."
"What's up?"
"Nm hbu?"
"Just thinking"
"About?"
"That thing you did the other night." 'Jesus I'm too awkward for this shit.'
"You mean the kiss?"
"Yeah that thing."
"Oh..."
"Um...what did it mean like was it a calm the fuck down kiss? Was it a really like you kiss? Or was it a oh hey we are bffs kiss?"
"Did it seem like a bffs kiss numb nuts?"
"No...thats why I'm confused."
"Kait, I am sorry. When I said I didn't like you back I didn't realize how much I was going to regret it. I do like you back, I really do, but I can't just say oh just friends one day and then the next tell you I love you, I didn't want to confuse you."
"It's fine I'm just confused because Nate and I kissed too."
"Oh..."
"I'm sorry I just I don't know because you're both my friends and I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt anyone and I'm just so confused and I need a friend but i don't have many here, I have you Dix and Nate and that's not a lot, but at the same time it's everything."
"Why didn't you talk to Dix?"
"I did, I talked to Dix first but she just told me to fuck one date the other and i was like um no bueno."
" I see."
"I'm sorry Luke."
" it's fine."
"Promise?"
"Of course."
And then I put my phone on airplane mode, I don't know exactly when I fell asleep but I was curled up in the fetal position thinking of what I should do and the obvious answer is cut off all contact with people for a while, just a little while.

~~~~~ME~~~~~~~
I am so happy that people actually enjoy reading this it means so much to me, as you can tell I changed the title and cover (sorry) and I hope you like it, and I'm sorry it takes so long I just don't know what to write sometimes but I had a little inspiration today so I hope you enjoyed it and if not I'm truly sorry! 😊🐳