Monsters

~°~14~°~

(Minki's POV)

It had been a few days since the new boys had become a part of us.

Our supplies were running a bit low due to the six additional mouths to feed but, if I was being completely honest, I was too scared to have anyone go out to get more.

Maybe I should just wait until we just...can't anymore. I could always go alone too..I thought, resting my head in my hands as I sat at my desk, my leg shaking, the soft tap tap tap of my heel against the wood being the only sound in the room.

I started to think back to what me and Chenle had talked about in the kitchen those days ago.

(Flashback)

"Hyung?" Chenle asked me when we had stepped into the kitchen.

I hummed softly, helping him up onto the counter as I started to move around to find things to prepare for the boys tonight, not knowing what the new ones liked.

"Do...do you think Jisungie is watching over us? Do you think they're all okay where they are?" He asked, his voice cracking.

I frowned, stopping and walking over to him, standing between his legs. "I'm sure they're all happy bub, and I bet they're all watching us and praying that we're all okay and that we'll all get out of this okay. Don't worry okay?" He looked up at me with tears in his sweet eyes. "I'm scared hyung...what if we lose someone else when we go out next? I don't think I could loose Jeno or Jaemin or Haechan..I really like the other hyungs too, we're family now...I don't wanna lose anyone."

He was full out sobbing at this point.

I hugged him tightly, guiding his face to the crook of my neck and stroking his hair softly while running my hand up and down his back slowly. "Don't worry your little head about it Lele, I won't let anything happen. We're not gonna have to go out for a while if I'm properly calculating our resources, and even then we'll wait until we absolutely have to. I'm not gonna let anyone else leave us, I promise." He nodded weakly into my shoulder, still crying.

I gently shushed him, leaving small comforting kisses on his temple, hoping that it gave him an bit of comfort as I closed my eyes.

I felt another presence enter the room and looked to see Taeyong there, watching the scene with an unreadable expression on his face. I gently shooed him away, wanting me and Chenle to me alone, specially since Chenle didn't like people seeing him cry unless he was close to them.

I continued to comfort him.

(End of flashback)

I let out a weak sigh. God...what am I gonna do? I thought, my fingers threading through my hair before gripping hard, tears gathering in my eyes as I stressed.

The sound of the door opening made me turn to it, my hands falling out of the tangled and now grown out mop on my head.

There stood Yuta, looking at me with worry. "Hey, you okay Minki?"

I nodded, my face stoic as I stared at the ground.

He knelt down infront of me to look into my slightly red tinted eyes.

He reached up, caressing my face. "You know Minki, you don't have to be strong all the time. You're gonna burn out like that baby, you need to let your feelings out instead of bottling them up. It's not healthy. Crying is okay, I promise. No one's gonna judge you for it."

I shook my head, shoving his hands off my face and standing up. "You don't understand Yuta! If I let myself be weak it'll discourage the others! I have to be strong! They look to me to know what's going on! To know if we're safe or not!" He shook his head. "No one asked you to do that Min, you took that role and we're all grateful for it, but if need me Taeyong or me can take over for a while and you can wind down." I shook my head violently. "I'm not gonna wind down Nakamoto! I can't wind down when we've already lost six people! Six! We weren't supposed to lose anyone!"

I could see the tears blurring my vision as I paced, my hands going right back up to my hair as I gripped it, starting to stress more. I heard footsteps coming towards me and instinctively backed up, my back hitting a wall as arms encased me on either side, preventing escape.

"Now you listen to me Choi Minki. It's gonna be okay. I know you're scared and stressed, but nothing is gonna happen to anyone here. I'll make sure of it. I need you to calm down." He grabbed my shoulders, pushing me to the floor so I was sitting and encased me in his arms so my back was taut against his chest as he had his legs on either side of me.

"Follow my breathing Minki. You're panicking and hyperventilating. It's not good for you. Follow me, okay? In..." He took a deep breath in, my chest moving forward with the motion as I tried to follow it myself. "Out.." My chest fell.

He kept doing that for a while until my breath returned to normal, every once in a while whispering in my ear how well I was doing and how proud he was of me.

I slowly relaxed against him, slowly releasing the grip I had on him that I  hadn't even noticed. I stared at my feet, soon leaning my head back onto his shoulder, staring out of my window. "I'm sorry about that..." I felt him shake his head as he started to gently rub his thumb up and down my bicep. "Don't apologise Min, it's okay. You're okay."

I could feel my eyes droop as the initial breakdown started to fade, leaving me emotionally drained.

I felt Yuta shift before he carefully placed his arm up under my legs and behind my back, hauling me up and walking me over to my bed, placing me down gently before covering me up.

"You take a nap. I'll come and wake you up when dinner is ready so that you can eat something. I'll also go get you some water." I just nodded slowly, my eyes already closed.

I once again felt that pressure on my hairline, but this time it was there for longer before leaving. My hearing aids were taken out and I slowly fell into a deep, emotionally caused sleep.