Do or Die

Cookie Crumble Trails

Patton breathed heavily taking in the scent of perfectly cooled cookies with thick chocolate chips. 

Most were already in the baby blue jar.

For once he didn't have much of an appetite for sweets.His stomach was already in a horrible tangle of knots at his mission.

Though maybe that was an exaggeration. It wasn't dangerous really, just toeing the threshold with a plate of cookies.

It wasn't much, it was barely anything but he could only hope Deceit or Remus would see the gesture. As much as he wanted it, it wasn't likely Virgil would even acknowledge Patton himself if they locked eyes.

Patton turned the frigid knob and was nearly knocked over backwards by the sheer cold. He shuddered at the slimy whispers of Deceit's oily- he shook his head fiercely. If his hands were free he would have to slap himself. This thinking was not helping. He as Morality probably shouldn't have had such thoughts in the first place. Maybe if he'd been more objective like Logan things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

Could the separation have been his fault? 

Not just Virgil but The Split of Creativity?

Patton could hear the agonized shriek and then of two small children babbling in confusion and horror. Even so young both twins were precocious understanding what they'd lost. To some degree.

Quietly he placed the bowl down.

Had he had any right to keep Roman away from this door? To ignore his begging for Remus and to play in his new home? To immediately refuse having Remus here?

"'I hate you Padre,'" a small Roman said quietly completely dejected. He kicked at the wall before Patton held him by the arms scolding him for such behavior.

That was not the way to deal with our bad feelings.

In the present Patton put a hand to his mouth.

Why?

Why had he done this?

A Padre didn't do that. He was a monster.

'You are a monster.'

'Everyone hates you.'

'Hopefully he'll be better at defending than he is at existing.'

Hearing Deceit jolted him from the intrusive thoughts. Only he wouldn't bother to be here or use old taunts. There was always something new and maybe a sliver of those little secrets only he knew by coming and going before the door's appearance.

Perhaps he'd made some bad choices but could he even take them back? If he did, could Thomas survive? If it was too late than he'd bear the blame, but Thomas didn't deserve to be put at risk just to make himself feel better.

No one deserved those thoughts at all hours.

"I'm sorry guys," he whispered shutting the door with a ghostly snap.

******************

Logan had let his room become the sanctuary of a recluse, mad genius. Certainly not his optimal work environment.

All the folders and files on the floor represented the bouts of zeal. The frightening lack of control that had stolen over him these last few days.

The only bit of the room in tact was the whiteboard, turned vibrant by the trails of colored marker dancing about. 

The mess could be left to sit for a bit longer. There was no real downturn in his productivity so it wasn't a pressing issue.

Logan wrote down his notes for Roman's slice.

'Creativity.'

'Ego.'

'Romance.'

'Will.'

'Advocacy and pride.'

"'Oh and hopes and dreams too I guess.'"

Roman wasn't just incredulous. Nor was he just defeated. He was both these bothersome feeling mutated and multiplied tenfold as he stared at Logan who'd committed a grievous sin in his mind.

Perhaps he had been a tad too dismissive.

Roman did serve his purpose as any other Side and he served it well.

A note for later.

Patton. 

Thomas' Morality and it seemed his innocence, whimsy, and a sufficient amount of humor. Hence his love for such frivoli- alternative forms of stimulation.

Virgil.

Anxiety, instincts, social awareness, caution, and inhibition from physical and social destruction.

Now their power sets.

Roman's was the most obvious. His formation of all matter and disregard for laws of Physics or common sense stemmed from his role as Creativity. His daydream mode operated on the principles of hope and romance.

Likely a foray into his room would have Thomas in a typhoon of ideas and dreams.

Roman breathed life into dreams, strived to make them real. 

Logan remembered almost feeling the impact of the gavel all those weeks ago. 

Roman had denied his purpose, for his purpose in a bout of selflessness.

He was juxtaposed against Deceit. The disguising, conniving snake who forced them into silence.

To such an extent that Thomas didn't know of his existence.

"'You placed distance on yourself and the lies that you tell. He is responsible for your doing so.'"

Hmm perhaps he hadn't worded that correctly. Yes Deceit was also denial but he couldn't act against Thomas. If he didn't reveal himself it was because Thomas didn't wish it. Not until he articulated the decision with confidence. Stopped hiding.

"'Well Deceit's like an inner coach.'"

Self preservation.

Lies, denial, self preservation.

"'And there it is. The boogeyman being treated as more important than the individual. Friendship.'"

His friends were being treated as more important than Thomas' dreams.

It was the choice of his dreams or the loyalty of seeing another in theirs that forced Patton into the role of lawyer in an arena of greys and contingencies.

A cutthroat game he was the least equipped to play.

This had been in the workings for so long. For all those weeks, from the moment the studio had called.

When Thomas had wanted, with all his mind, to want for himself.

Logan tacked the calendar up. The one displaying the wedding.

The one that had exacerbated Patton's Morality and innocence.

The one that had taken precedent over Roman's purpose.

The one that had elicited so many lies and a very real threat to face about Thomas. 

One that he wasn't ready for. So why not eliminate it all together? Why not take the risk of angering the boogeyman called friendship? Why not take the pesky social inhibitions out of the picture to do so?

Though the question still lingered...

How?