Do or Die

I Am the Bad Guy

Janus directed Virgil towards the panel. 

He could hear Thomas dial the director.

He took a few breaths before hearing the dial tone.

"Oh boy, I'm making the right choice, this is the right choice."

"Is it?" Virgil hissed.

Thomas didn't falter.

"Are you making the right choice? Throwing away so many years of hard work, of wishing and wanting. All these dreams you had."

His own fist clenched. It really wasn't fair. Thomas hadn't wanted this, never wanted to be at a dumb pointless party.

"Can you really take it? All the silent looks, the pity, what if Joan's there or Talyn, Valerie, Lawrance, all the friends you've neglected for one guy? One guy you aren't even sure's gonna last."

Thomas hung up the phone putting his hands in his hair.

"What am I doing?" he said.

Behind him he could feel Janus' eyes on him and the satisfaction at watching Virgil work.

"All the loud music, what if there's a fire or if all the guests get too nuts? Too drunk?"

Virgil felt the blow to his chest. Thomas was taking some deep breaths, eyes closed, roiling his muscles contract and relax, he was feeling a little lidded eyed himself.

He'd learned so much. Grown so much. 

He could actually see some of Roman working in there, letting Thomas remember some theater exercises.

Roman, how was he taking all this? Was he angry at Virgil? Would he get an earful for going back to his old ways? Violating his trust, their love?

His face at the trial after smashing that gavel. He'd been so tired.

"That's it," Deceit purred, "use that Virgil, use it."

He may have not remembered so well but he knew his eyes and mouth formed a pained expression.

He'd gotten himself together, the churning in his stomach wasn't gone but had eased.

"Nice to see you so calm," he said raw and hoarse.

"Roman deserves care too, some attention wouldn't you say. He'll like that stoke his ego a bit. If not you or Patton why not our host?" he asked.

Roman... Roman was broken. Had been for a good while.

"'You don't have to save face in almost any case, we embrace you.'"

"'No one hates you.'"

"'That's rich.'"

"Can you say the same for Roman?" he ground out letting anger color his voice. Except he wasn't angry. Not angry, concerned definitely. Yes, he still cared for them. He wasn't just using the Prince.

"Can you say that he isn't feeling all the more powerless, less like your hero and more like an inconvenience. Just another useless voice holding. You. Back."

"He gave up so much for you and for what? Not for your happiness since we both know he denied his reason for existing, since ideas and galavanting about on stage is all he's worth."

He stalled. The thought whirling around his head. The feel of Thomas feeling guilty on top of anxious.

Then he felt a warmth at his back. Feeling his heart calmed him. With a more easy breath he drove it home.

"How much more of that can a Side take? Just look at Logan."

Logan who'd gone from quirky classroom teacher to a cold unfeeling robot. Until it all exploded.

What would happen to Roman if his face kept falling. Kept getting desperate to be heard and acknowledged, to be loved.

He'd absolutely think Virgil was lost to the Dark now. That he'd failed as the Prince.

His breathing came in a rasp letting the idea wash over him.

If Roman broke... if he broke...

"Shhh, shhh it's alright, it's alright everything's okay Virge," Janus murmured. "You did great, more than earned your reward."

The warm aura drew him in as he clasped his trembling fingers around the heart. If only he'd let him hug it to his chest, to just feel something.

"I did- I hurt him," he shuddered.

"Shh shhh, I know, I know. The truth can hurt sometimes."

In a surge of burning rage he gave a weak shove.

"The truth?" he seethed.

"Roman is suffering, so is Logan, I bet even Patton. What happened in that courtroom wasn't easy on anyone, least of all Thomas. If he slips who's to say what happens to the others?"

Virgil shuddered again stiffening at being so close to the snake and his lies. Except his voice was different. Tender, rubbing soft like when he was little. Not like the too sweet lies that urged whispers in his mind, licks of... a darker sense.

"About time each and every Side got a little something out of life wouldn't you say," Janus said, "you did, when you cut us out."