The strong little worries of wondering if your gonna keep on living in this cruel cruel world.
But then there are the days were you actually hope that will you leave the world just like the feeling of the blade leaving your skin.
The moment you realize how sorry you ate for making the most stupidest decition of your life is something that is very painful. Its like walking down an empty hallway after pouring your heart out to someone and knowing they don't give the slightest care about you in this world. It hurts.
When you begin to walk down that empty road you begin think of all of the things that went bad in your life you just wanna run and cry and just stay as far away from the place you made your mistake and you just want to dig a hole somewhere and go into it and just die slowly.
Having anxiety and depression is just the worst things to mix together it's like one minute you want to die but then your anxiety gets in the way and you just sit there and think about the people that will miss you and who will get hurt the most when your gone and if your in a relationship not only do you have to think of your feelings you also have to think of the other persons feelings. You wanna sit there and have the mind set that you are going to cut but then you think down deep what about that person that cares about me how will they feel when they see that from me and then you will always feel that they can do so much better then you and you always think that maybe they will get tired of your depressed self and just leave you for someone that is ten times better then you.
Having depression and anxiety is something that you wan to hide from the world you have to go to school everyday and have to paint a smile of your face and have to laugh and smile and show that your happy when your really not all up in peoples faces and once you go home you just freak out on anyone at home because you were so tired of faking who you were.
Living in this cruel world isnt all that amazing. People want to believe that this world is great but in all reality this world is cruel and full of people that think that there so much better then everyone else that they believe that should treat everyone else that they thnk is slightest bit better then them they have to treat thm like they are nothing and that is were the cycle of depression begins but people don't know that because they don't care. All people care about is how they look not how they act.
