Living in this crazy war of the mind that I have I can't take it anymore. My mind is my biggest weapon that I have. I always thought it was a person that hurt me but in reality its just me.
Why doesn't he appreciate me. What have I done for him to not like me. Its sad that he knows his son loves me and I love him but why does he treat me this way. I've done all that I can do and be to make you appricate me but its not enough. What must I do why won't you tell me.
I feel that he wants me to just not be with his son but that's something that I'm not willing to do. I love him to much to just walk away from the things we have been threw and the things that we have I just don't want to lose that. We have loyalty for one another and that is something that I've always wanted in a relationship.
My home is filled with so many things. Its filled with love, hate, happiness, and so much more. Its something that's part of the fight that I live with. Its hard having to feel that you feel that your own family hates the way that you are.
Once my family had found out about the things that I have done during my fight of depression and anxiety. Its like they have put me as a shadow. Its like I'm not apart of the big beautiful perfect family that they want. The pain that I feel about me thinking that isn't really amazing and it hurts having to feel that way.
Something that I feel that keeps me alive is the goals that I have I love track and it keeps me from feeling the things that I feel at home. Running on that track its just an amazing feeling that I love. I never want to leave that moment that I'm in. Its the feeling of feeling that the moment is endless...
I believe in this world there are people that are born family and the ones that are the ones you find and you just feel that connection of them being apart of a family in your heart and that is how I feel about my best friend. She has always been there for me, she has never ever talked behind my back. The relationship that we have for each other is bitter sweet and something that I will never ever let go of..
