Everything was normal and in an instant the screams, the crying, and the yelling. Why. Just why is all that could be said in my mind. The screams from her to him I had to help her I just had to.
He thought he could just say those things. He thought they weren't going to hurt. But they did. How could he say such words of anger and his drunkenness.
I feel I shouldn't even speak anymore like what's the point of talking when its just no use into it. I just can't smile it hurts to even make and expression in my face.
They all ask if I'm ok I just move my head yes but my mind is just saying
"Why are you lying you aren't ok your never ok."
But what's the point of telling them I'm not when nothing is going to change. Life is never going to change. I can never be happy without something messing it up. Its like the gods don't want me to be happy. Maybe I should be an angel.
Angels are free and they can live there lives and helping people. I want to help other in there time in need. I want to help people in the way that I was never able to get. Nobody understands the struggles that's stuck in my mind.
My anxiety and depression are getting so bad that I don't even want to talk. That's not healthy. I try to talk and that come out is a whisper its just not coming to me. My voice is in there somewhere its just found a reason to get stuck inside my body and I'm pretty sure that nothing is going to help it come out.
Maybe not even the love of my life can...
