Unreciprocated Feelings Between Me And You

chapter | f o u r

four | sections and surprises

I LET OUT a loud sigh as I stare at myself in front of the mirror. I don't get it. I don't understand why I always feel nervous wearing this uniform when in fact, it's just the same clothes as last school year.

I'd say I'm a pretty girl. I like my long, thick eyelashes and my amber irises because of how rare my eye color is. About 5% around the world only has it so it's like some sort of achievement for me that I have something so unique. I also like my heart-shaped lips and how soft they feel upon the tips of my finger. I don't like my round cheeks since they make me appear chubby but it gives me an innocent, almost youthful look that I'm fond of. My eyebrows aren't my best feature but I think they're quite fine in all its soft arch glory. I love my hair though; from afar, it appears to be black but under the sunlight, it turns to a beautiful shade of golden brown. I'd say it's my best attribute.

I'm proud of my fairly large bust, my little waist, and my wide hips. I also have a plump rear and I don't mind my stomach even if it isn't flat. My body is not perfect but I'm confident with my figure and how I carry myself. I used to want to have a slim body because I wanted to be the perfect image of what a girl must look like, but I realized that all of us have different bodies and I've come to accept that I'll never be as slim as I dreamed to be and that's okay. I can still be my own sublime definition of what a girl must look like.

But even with all my positive thoughts about how I look, I don't have a big ego to say I'm the most beautiful flower in the garden. I'm not Dexter. With that said, I'm not lying when I say I don't look good as I'd like to in this uniform.

I'm wearing a plaid jumper skirt and a white mock neck elbow sleeve top. I have my black socks on that reach my knees and I pair that with my black round toe chunky heels that I received as a gift from Gwendalyn last Christmas. I'm thankful that our school allows girls to wear heels because I'm short and I appreciate the added height. My hair is tied into a neat high ponytail and my face is barren of any makeup. I'd like to apply some even if I only have limited knowledge when it comes to makeup but my mother doesn't like it so that's a big no-no.

Before leaving my room, I take my black coat that has the institute's logo on it, my messenger bag, and a few bucks from my savings just in case I'd need some cash. Every time my mom gets her salary, she automatically gives me $50 for my monthly allowance but it remains untouched most of the time. I only use it for school material expenses and food since I don't usually go out. That's how I began to save.

My attention turns to my phone when I receive a message from Aamir, our private transport, saying he's already here. I quickly wear my school coat and hurry out when my mother's voice stops me.

"Mom, I thought you're still asleep," I tell her, a bit confused.

She ignores what I said and hands me my monthly allowance. "I forgot to give this to you. Spend it wisely."

I smile at her gratefully and accept the money. I quickly put it in my wallet. "Bye, mommy."

She nods. "Stay safe."

I smile at Aamir the moment I get into his car. We greet each other and our small talk comes about naturally. I feel at ease with him because I'd known him since I was eleven years old. If I'm with any other driver, I know I'd be silently panicking as paranoid thoughts consume my brain, but not with Aamir. I'm confident he'll never put me and my mother in harm's way. I'm also happy that he has her trust and that she's comfortable with him as my driver. It's another way to help lessen her worries knowing that I'm always safe.

The drive going to school was fast. In less than thirty minutes, Aamir has dropped me off in the institute's parking lot. I notice that a lot of students are already arriving and I'm seeing both new and old faces.