Unreciprocated Feelings Between Me And You

chapter | h i s

| maddox's point of view |

THE FIRST TIME I met Selena was when we were thirteen-year-olds. She was eating the freshly baked cookies Beverly had just made but when she saw us, she immediately stopped munching on it and gave us a shy smile.

She was wearing a plain white shirt, faded jeans, and sneakers. I didn't think she was pretty. She was too short, chubby, and I thought her smile was irritating. It was always there even when there was nothing to be happy about. In my head, I used to ask if she ever got tired of smiling so much.

She was usually locked up in the room Beverly allowed her to use. The only time we ever see is her is during lunch and dinner. She'd be very friendly then. She likes to initiate conversation and make lame jokes. Sometimes, she'd get a laugh out of us. That only happens though because of her poor delivery. That was really funny.

All it took was one night for change to begin. The guys and I got bored using the PlayStation so we went down to the living room. We were caught off guard to find Selena there. She was so invested in watching this kid's show that she didn't even notice we're already behind her. She only came back to reality when Dexter asked her what she was watching. When she found out we didn't know what the show was called, her jaw dropped and she talked our ears off about how spectacular it was. It's one of her favorites: Stranger Things.

That was the first time we had a proper conversation with her. She talked so animatedly, so passionately; I found her cute. I liked how her eyes lit up while talking about something she loved. It's like her amber eyes were shining. And her smile, it was more genuine somehow.

She cooked us sopas that night, a Filipino cuisine she said her father taught her. Her smile became small and her eyes were sad as she talked about him. I didn't want to see that expression on her face again. It felt odd for someone so lively as her. There's just something about her that doesn't seem quite right when she isn't smiling.

I still remember the time I found her sitting at the kitchen stool that one midnight when we were kids. I couldn't get her off my mind the entire day. She was worried, bothered, and she was making me feel the way for her.

That's why when I found her lost in her chain of thoughts, I decided to talk to her. Maybe I can find a way to help her, I said to myself then. And I did. By the time we parted ways, she was humming softly to herself with a gentle smile on her face.

It was always so easy talking to her. We got to know each other and we shared shallow information about ourselves but there was something about that certain moment, there was something about her, that stuck with me. I don't know what it was. I just knew that I felt serene, that I felt so comfortable. I just knew that I felt good with her.

I realized she was indeed pretty that midnight. She was the paragon of the word. She was pretty because of her heart. She was pretty because every time she smiles, it's like her amber eyes are smiling too.

More time has passed and I discovered what made Selena, Selena. It was a lot of things: her kindness, compassion, maturity. But I think the feature that captures her best is her selflessness. I have never met anybody as selfless as her. She's admirable.

No one wanted to lie to her. No one wanted to hurt her. We only wanted what's best for her so we chose the decision we thought was the best at that time. We didn't know that decision was the worst we'd ever make.