Unreciprocated Feelings Between Me And You

chapter | t w e n t y

twenty | pasts and presents

I ENTER THE restaurant with a big smile on my lips. I know this place. This is where my family usually went to eat breakfast. The restaurant is small and it's cheap but the food here is good. It's empty when I arrived except for the one lady sitting in the furthest corner of the room. That's her.

I can't wait to see her again. It's only been 3 months but I felt her missing presence every single time I'd be alone. I've been worried about her so to see her, right in front of me, would be such a relief. I can feel it. We're going home.

The moment my eyes land on mommy, I embrace her as tight as I possibly could. I hear her let out a sob once we collided and that's all I need to know that she'd been just as worried about me as I had been about her.

While waiting for our order, she cradles my face and looks at me with so much affection. Her eyes are puffy and her nose is red. She's been crying for a long time. I wonder how long.

"How are you, Sia?" she asks me as another tear escapes. "You don't have to worry anymore, okay? Mommy's here. Mommy's back. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry."

I wipe her tears and send her a tender smile. "Mommy's, it's all right. I'm all right. I'm okay."

Our orders eventually arrive and the both of us catch up. She has so many questions she's eager to ask and I have so many stories to share. Even if I'm scared to let her know I'm basically staying with 5 boys in the house, I don't hide any details because it's not my fault and it can't be helped. It's not my house so I can't control who the guest is.

I know she'd be upset about it but I'm surprised when she doesn't comment on it. She purses her lips for a moment and I see irritation cross her face, but that's it. She lets it go. That's when I know something is up.

When the both of us finish eating our food, she grabs my hand and squeezes it. That makes me look at her. Her eyes are focused on our hands and she's holding onto it so tightly as if it's the only thing giving her strength right now.

"Selena, your father and I..."

I don't talk. I'm so curious to know what she has to say but I don't talk. I can see that she's struggling to get the words out so I'm certain it's something important. I'm just not sure if I'm prepared to hear it.

For some reason, my heart begins pounding against my chest. It's pounding so hard to the point that it already hurts. I have a bad feeling about this.

"W-We're having a divorce."

It's like my heart dropped to my stomach the moment she let those words out.

I could only blink at her. I-I... I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?

I have so many questions in my head. I want to demand answers from her. This is such a huge decision! How could she have decided so easily?! This will affect me and Geraldine in a colossal way! She should have talked to us first! She should have talked to me!

I want to get mad at her for making this decision. I know she wants it. I want to get mad at him for pushing her to do this. I know he'll agree with her.

Do you know what it's like to come home every day, anticipating your parents' return? You wish that they're happy and that they get along when they arrive, but eventually, you learn to always expect the worst. You can't be nonchalant about handling them because you need to be prepared and alert so that you don't cross their way once their fight begins.