☄︎ ⋆·˚ ⋆ *. ⇒ 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞
𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀
Athena Sinistra has learnt to understand broken promises. Her life became a fiction of war rather than love and she let her grief control her. After ten years she's found herself again but know...
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☽☽☽
TENSION BECAME NORMALITY over the next three days. Athena never knew what Ben was thinking and she was sure that he didn't know what she was thinking either.
They were together yet they hadn't been further apart. Athena couldn't think of things to say since the outburst, trying to force conversation was nearly as bad as arguing.
Anything she said seemed to be received judgementally. She felt as though she was performing for an interview and was continuing to mess up. It may have been one of the worst Christmases that she'd had.
It couldn't considered the worst. 1981 was on a pedestal that could not be reached. However it was suffocating to be around him. Athena didn't want to be the one to apologise, she wasn't sorry for what she had said.
The points that she had yelled at him were points that had been stewing around in her mind for months. Therefore, they had to mean something. The way he talked about Carol, the way he was so quick to jump to her defence. In her mind it all added up to something that she didn't want to admit.
He felt something for her. It was evident. She wondered whether she was holding him back, whether he was regretting being with her at all. Athena wished they would just talk, the silence was starting to get too loud.
She was supposed to stay for a week, that had been the plan. Athena would have stuck to it if circumstances weren't completely terrible. Unfortunately they were. Athena left on the 27th. Only two days after she'd arrived.
They'd spent the night of Christmas Eve arguing and the next to days avoiding every topic under the sun. Athena wanted to scream at him, she wanted to shout at him but she also wanted him to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything would be alright.
She really didn't want to lose him. Athena wasn't sure how she'd cope without him. She couldn't lose someone else. He'd shown her that she had a chance to be happy again and if this relationship failed too Athena might just give up altogether.
She felt as though she couldn't get anything right. Maybe she had overreacted. How would she know? How would she know how things were supposed to be in a normal relationship when her only other example had been anything but normal.
Athena couldn't help but think it. Remus had been perfect. It drove her mad that she still told herself this. It drove her to the edge of grief until the point where she'd choke on her own tears in a spiral of confusion.
How could she know what a normal relationship should be like if her relationship with Remus had been better than anything she could possibly expect. How had she lost that? How had she ruined the love that made her feel complete. Why did he have to go and leave?
Athena spent a lot of her time imagining what her life would have been like if Remus had stayed. She saw them working at Hogwarts together. She saw them walking the halls in jovial laughter, she saw them raising Harry, maybe even having their own children. She imagined a life where she didn't feel close to breaking with every step that she took.
