You're only 17... (frerard fanfic) (teacher X student) COMPLETED

Chapter 7: The only hope for me is you

TW!!!!!! SU1C1D3 ATTEMPT, 0V3RD0S3

I stepped into the bus. This was such a long day, I can't believe that I actually made it alive.

So much for "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE" hell, this might be the last.

I pulled out my phone. I wanted to text Gerard, even if I actually killed myself.

What am I supposed to say? Hey, it's Frank? Just that? I mean it'd work, but it's kind of lame. It doesn't matter, he only needs to know that it's me.

I typed his number into my phone and saved him as "Gee" He said that's his nickname, and I find it absolutely adorable. I started typing.

To Gee:

Hey, it's Frank

I hit send and put my phone back away into my bag. I don't expect an answer back right away, he seems like he has better things to do than text me.

My apartment complex is kind of far from my school, so I always end up the last one on the bus.

It was 3:00 pm when my bus finally arrived at my home. I walked inside and saw my mom sitting on the couch, on her phone.

Her car wasn't in the parking lot, how did she get home?

And where the fuck was she? She's been gone for 6 days straight.

"Where were you all week?" I asked her.

She immediately got all defensive, "Nowhere, it's none of your business." She snapped.

That's when I finally spoke up, "Mom, you're never there for me, or around me, or at home. I'm sick of your bullshit, saying that it's none of my business! I am your son, I deserve to know where you've been all week, pretty much just abandoning your child. You wanna abandon your child? Don't become a mother then." I practically shouted.

She got up off the couch and punched my right under my eye.

It was definitely going to leave a bruise, much like the ones I got from the kids at school today.

"You wanna punch your son, mom? Go fuck yourself. I hope next time you leave you don't come back." I said, and I walked away.

Surely enough, about after an hour she left the building. I still had no idea where she was, but it didn't matter.

Many hours passed, still no response on my text to Gerard. It was 7:49 pm, and I still had no response.

It's not a big deal, to be honest I didn't really expect him to answer anyways.

I left my bedroom and walked into the kitchen. I noticed a few bottles of pills on the counter. I remembered what that kid said to me today, that nobody cared about me, and that I should just kill myself already.

He's not wrong, I have no friends, my mother hates me, the only person who seems like he cares about me is Gerard, but he's my art teacher, when I graduate and move onto college, he won't even remember my name.

I opened the bottle of pills, dumped about 4 of them in my hand, and swallowed them without a problem.

I don't care if I had a future, I don't care if I had potential to be someone, everyone hates me.

I just wanted to end all the pain, and end all the suffering. I gave it about 3 minutes, and reopened the bottle of pills.

I was about to swallow the other 6 in the bottle, just as my phone went off.

It was Gerard, he actually answered.

From Gee:

Hey Frank! How's it goin?

I don't know how to answer, but I wanted to tell him the truth, and so I did.

To Gee:

I'm sorry Gee, you don't deserve to have to put up with all of my bullshit. I want to end it all, and if I mattered to you I'm sorry but I can't continue living.

I hit sent without hesitation.

Less than 5 seconds later I got a response, or well... multiple responses.

From Gee:

WHAT?!

FRANK ARE YOU DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

PLEASE FRANK NO IT'S NOT WORTH IT

YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE

PLEASE DON'T DO IT

I'M BEGGING YOU

I WANT TO HELP YOU PLEASE ANSWER ME

He called me, I just ignored the phone, I started crying. I don't want to let him down, but I've let everyone else down, he would learn to resent me too.

I poured the pills into my hand and he called me a second time. I stared at my palm full of pills for a minute.

I don't want to let him down, I really don't, but I don't deserve to live. I've fucked up my one shot at life, there is no point in continuing.

He called me a third time, and the ringing of my phone was getting so irritating, I had to answer.

I was in tears, it didn't matter though. I wanted to talk to him if I got to choose the last person I talked to. "Gerard..." I started in, I couldn't finish talking, I was crying too much and too hard.

"FRANK, LISTEN TO ME PLEASE, YOU CANNOT END YOUR LIFE, PLEASE DON'T DO IT!! I'M BEGGING YOU FRANK, IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH, I REALLY DO! I WAS JUST AS SUICIDAL AS YOU BUT I GOT THROUGH IT AND I'M OKAY AND YOU CAN TOO, BELIEVE ME YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF. PLEASE, STAY ALIVE FOR ME, FRANK, DON'T DO IT, HOWEVER YOU'RE PLANNING ON IT, PLEASE DO NOT!!!" He insisted. "I have 3 containers of pills, 10 inside each. I planned on overdosing." I said, still crying, but able to talk.

"Frank, please don't do it. I want to help you, I am here for you and I always will be. I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner, I regret it so much I really do. Please never be the one to take your life. Frank, remember our plans we made? Stay alive for tomorrow, okay? Remember that you told me you wanted to be in a band? Stay alive to join a band. Remember you told me you wanted to go to a Pierce the veil concert? Stay alive for when they might go on tour again, please Frank, please stay alive. At least for me."

I sat on the floor holding the phone in complete silence. Staring at the pills in my hand.

"Frank? Frank?!"

"I'm here, I'm okay." I responded.

He was right, I wanted to live for the day I start music, the day I meet my idols, even just tomorrow to see my favorite person I've met.

"You're right Gerard, I'm sorry if I let you down." I said.

"You're not letting me down until you succeeded in your suicide attempt. You have reasons to live Frank, please don't give up on your life." He said.

I couldn't help but smile. Even over the phone, while he is explaining to me why I need to live, he manages to make me smile. 

"I'm throwing the pills away, I'm throwing my razors or anything I could use to hurt myself away. I'm not letting you down."

He sighed of relief, "I'm sorry you're going through this, Frank. I really am. I'm not mad, I don't see you any differently, I'm just really glad I called and you finally answered.

I never want you to hurt yourself again, okay?" He said. I smiled, "Yes, okay. I'm really glad you called." He sighed again, "Me too. I'll see you tomorrow Frank. Tomorrow will be better, I don't know what drove you to try this today, but I'm not letting it happen ever again. Okay? I'll see you tomorrow, Frankie. Goodnight."