The Goddess The Cowboy And The dumb Ass Gold

Season 1 chapter 4

The SQUAD were casually running around Osaka city on a Tuesday morning, being all fancy in their school uniforms taking Instagram photos. Hellena had taken them to Osaka castle where they sat under the cherry blossom trees and ate lunch they bought at LAWSON. Madeline pulled weed out of her jacked smoking some as Lemmy looked at her, "what? I'm not gonna get high I have a medical condition you know, it's called being a simp. And I like how weed goes through my VEINS" she said while smoking the joint. "Y'know during the war I learned something, I needed to stop my weed addiction. That's why my parents forced their underage single daughter into the Air Force. It worked though I—-" Madeline was cut off when Ligma appeared alongside his mob men and Kim Kardashian.

"And to think this was going to be a normal Tuesday..." Hellena muttered. Everyone stayed calm thinking Ligma would miss them not noticing them because of their generic appearance. Well, let me tell you that did work until Ligma glanced over at them but did a double take at them. Thinking it would be fun to spray his dirty after workout sock sweat juice on them. He walked up to the SQUAD hands on his hips, "well then, didn't expect you to be here. GIVE ME THE WEED CAFE OR I'LL BREAK YOUR KNEES NUGGET GIRL" next to him was Elon Musk dressed as Kim Kardashian and Neo Soviet mob men, it didn't look good for the group of teens. "Can I at least have the last bite of my sandwich in peace?" asked Madeline not in the mood for this shit. Hellena stood causing the mob men to raise their weapons. Hellena decided to use her godly abilities cuz why the fuck not? She shot crystal laser beams into Ligma's eyes "HAH SIKE BITCH" causing him to collapse CAUSING the Neo Soviets to start shooting at the SQUAD. The group of four made a ran for it, while the bullets that were being shot at them miraculously missed them or bounced off of them, and when I say them I mean Gold and Hellena.

Everyone was running away like little bitches— just kidding no, they sonic dashed away. Most of the mob men were exhausted or just too hurt from Hellena's light powered missile attacks to do anything. Out of all the smoke, 
a man's silhouette emerged running towards Gold and grabbing Him. Gold was held at gun point by a Neo Soviet threatening to shoot Gold's brains out.
"No, for fuck sake Dimitri—" Hellena huffed.
"My name isn't Dimitri—"
"I don't give two flying fucks, you look like one with your fucked nose. play dead like the rest and leave us alone!"
Hellena just gave a dead expression to the man, "fine, do it shoot him if you twat" Hearing that Gold looked terrified and was about to cry out of fear and betrayal. There was a gunshot sound, but no wound. Gold opened his eyes to see that he was still alive, hearing more gunshots but nothing happening. From Hellena's perspective the gunshots were bouncing off of Gold's head, no wonder he survived the war without even a scratch on his ass cheek. Hellena smiled at what she was seeing, the Neo Soviet however was getting frustrated and started to attempt at bashing Gold's head. That's when Hellena put her hand out stopping the man from assaulting Gold any further. Giving an innocent smile she said in a childish voice "hey Dimitri, I hope you never reproduce" and soccer kicked his balls. "Next time I'll break le dick in half. Sleep with one eye open fool." Grabbing gold they both ran away from the scene. On the way to find Lemmy and Madeline, Hellena found a bicycle, shoved Gold into the basket and cycled off to where the two others were at.

Finally finding Lemmy and Madeline, they were in the lobby of the four seasons hotel, which Hellena and Lemmy had planned on meeting in, in advance. Big smart brain moment right there bois. Hellena cycled the bicycle into the hotel lobby not giving a damn if she looked insane. "GET ON LOSERS WE'RE GOING SHOPPING"
"FUKC YEAH WOHOO"
The two girls got onto the bicycle forming a similar star formation as they did the day previously, she rode out of the hotel and into oncoming traffic. Nothing could stop Hellena, the fact that a man disguised as a woman, with disposable titties and lipstick stuck up his ass was teamed up with Ligma to do god knows what was more scary than cycling into people and swerving around cars in oncoming traffic.

Finally reaching a motorcycle shop, the bicycle just collapsed. It broke sending everyone to the ground. An employee came up to the lot, "do we need any help here?" He asked, Hellena getting up and dusting her self off replied "actually yes. I want the biggest motorcycle you have", the man looked at her then up and down, "anything for the pretty lady." Hellena was a little grossed out by this but eh it is what it is. MEN.  She followed him into the shop looking at the selection of the biggest motorcycles the shop had. "Oh the red one speaks to me" she put her ear to it, "yeah? You want an owner? Here I am say hello to papa. I'll take it!" She exclaimed, "aah haha great but, how about your friends?" Looking behind her she saw Madeline smoking another joint blowing smoke into Lemmy's face. Gold stood next to her just drooling over the bike, "my friends? These are my children." The employees nodded then a second later processed what was said, "err how old are you ma'am?" He asked genuinely confused as to why a high school student had grown ass "children". "That's a rude question to ask a lady. Why, I'm 17", Gold was just watching from the sidelines enjoying the shit show. While Hellena made her transaction the employee asked more questions,
"how did you give birth to them?"
"Hmm that's up to your imagination"
"Do they have the same father?"
"Oh god no. They all have different dads haha"
"Err can I be your next baby's daddy?"
"No, I only hook up with my cousins. Besides, my vj has been dj'ed too many times for my liking"
"......."
Right then, a old ass man came out from the back, "no son, stop being a man hoe. This is why your mother doesn't love you. Go get the bike ready, SCRAM" turning towards Hellena, "hey you're actually a good looking gal, I won't mind being your next baby daddy—" Hellena put her hand up, "no, thanks. I'd this what you said before creating that at mistake?" Pointing to the boy. The old man muttered "how did you know" under his breath as she looked back at Madeline and Lemmy who were yelling "CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER" at small mopeds, crossing her arms "besides you look two hundred years too old for my liking." People who were passing by were staring at Lemmy and Madeline who were either fortnight dancing or yelling "CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER" in the shop. The bike was finally ready, Hellena thanked the owner and his son, "thanks for the bike. You two were gross though I'm never coming back" she smiled her sinister smile. "Oh yeah totally, never come back" replied the owner, "aight Choo Choo motherfucker". Climbing onto the bike along with the rest of the SQUAD she drove off, back to her mansion.

It was late at this point, almost midnight gold was in his room listening to some WAP on good old Spotify. He was having some flashbacks of his time serving in the war. Remembering a particular event, he accidentally shot at and killed one of Osama BinLaden's secret sons. Gold being the snowflake he is wet him self while being welled at in Arabic mixed with English by this crusty ass man, "jajajsjsjajhahahahasahhaha STOOPID AMERICAN hdhsjjajaja DIE jshjsjaha OSAMA BINLADEN hdjsjajaj I AM THE GOD hshajaj BROWN POOP COLOURED HUMAN hdisjsjjsjsnssj HITLERRRR." Gold was terrified and when he saw crusty Osama Jr started shooting at him, he shot back in defence, killing him uwu. That was Gold's most proudest moments.
Closing his eyes he fell asleep. Dreaming about milfs. Nha, just kidding. He dreamed about war crime legend Vladimir Putin.

Dreams are fun.