The Goddess The Cowboy And The dumb Ass Gold

Season 1 chapter 5

Gold was awoken at the crack of dawn, a strong beam of light poking through his window. He walked to his window just to find Hellena chillin like a villain outside standing as she just glowed, while Madeline was laying down sunbathing in the light. Gold opened his window. Calling out to his friends,
"hola, what are you doing?"
"Sunbathing" Madeline stated,
"No, I was asking Hellena" Gold yelled
Hellena looked up, "being a star. What does it look like?"
"So, you mean like being the sun?"
"Yes Gold, I am the daughter of two sun gods and the goddess of light. Duh"
"Uhh you kinda woke me up..."
"Aaa shit, sorry mate. If you want come join us"
Gold was going to run out of his room, walk down a flight of stairs and exist the house, like a NORMAL person would. But no, he didn't feel like being a normiE.

The war had taught him one thing, and that thing is that he is almost immortal. Gold always knew his luck in life was too good to be true. He barely ever got hurt, he had an army of girls always running after him, Even though, to many he seemed decently attractive, (some girls just really simp for him I guess) he somehow got his way nine times out of ten in his life. It became even more evident during the war however, being sent off to war he saw his friends, comrades, and even some of his officers get shot down slowly slowly like flies. In Gold's case though, he would always be the last man standing after a bomb was dropped. He knew something was up, he knew he wasn't quite "normal".

Turning around he headed to his window and jumped out of it. Knowing his luck he would either land on his ass with little to no injuries, or land on his feet like a cat. (This man has nine lives I swear.) Landing on his feet he was proud of himself for looking cool in font two girls. 'Yes Gold you did it' he inwardly praised himself.
"So, can I sunbathe too?"
"Sure, why you asking? I never said it's illegal" Hellena snorted handing Gold a pair of sunglasses. Gold undressed to his boxers laying down as Hellena just sat there glowing.

Hellena looked up at the sky admiring the stars, the moon, and the scenery. Then her thoughts trailed off to the situation she is in right now. There is a Madeline, clearly a female in her bra and underwear then there is Gold, obviously a male only on his boxers. 'Oh god' is all she could think. 'If they ask for a threesom I can just murder them' she thought trying to not focus on the situation.

Gold had noticed the same thing as Hellena. His only in his boxers, next to a two girls and one of them was half naked, if this was happening back in his army days a threesom would have happened by now. Even the wives of his officers would try to hit on him. He didn't understand why he was a simp magnet, but he was surprised that he was laying here for almost 10 minutes without any action at all. He got up crawled towards Hellena and tapped her on the shoulder earning a "you have chosen death!"
Here is another thing about Gold, his thick as a brick sometimes. This was a moment showing that he can be le stupid.
"Uhh so.... don't you wunna have sex?"
Hellena was at a loss of words,
"Huh? What? No, absolutely the fuck not!"
Madeline lifted her upper body for a moment just to say "geeet eem geeeet some BOI" then laid back down like nothing happened.
"Gold what the fuck?"
"Whoa this is the first time a woman has rejected me!"
Madeline shot up "why are you so excited about being rejected?"
"Because you two don't want to have a threesom! Finally women who want to actually be friends" Gold smiled. Then his face turned sad,
"Does that mean you don't think I'm attractive?"
"I only find anime boys to be attractive" replied Madeline laying back down.
Hellena turned around "Gold, only the normiest normiE and horniest horny lonely milf or woman would find you hot. Cursed people are immune to your good looks."
"Is that why I don't find you nor the other girls here attractive?"
"Yes"

"Three bros chilling half naked no feet apart cuz they're not gay" Lemmy clapped as she walked towards the group of almost naked friends. Madeline had zero fucks to give and didn't respond ignoring Lemmy's comment. Hellena got all flustered being the tsundere she is she wriggled her arms in the air like she just don't care— (I'm sorry lol) yelling "I AM GAY, well I am BISEXUAL. I have a girl friend" she huffed even more, with Lemmy putting her hand up to calm Hellena down. "it's five am in the morning the fuck y'all doing out here?" Lemmy questioned raising an eyebrow.
"I'm sunbathing"
"I'm chilling with the bois"
"I'm being a star"
Lemmy didn't question anything, she just nodded, "sure you are.."
A minute of silence goes by when Lemmy broke it, "oh yeah, that's why I came out here. Woman I want food." She put her hands on her hips looking at Hellena. "For a girl who served Vietcong and the US marines you are very demanding..." Hellena muttered. She stood up dimming the light her body was generating until she returned to her human form. "I think that's enough for today, we shall continue this another time" she paused, looking at the horizon. "get dressed peasants we have a long day ahead of us."

The wind was blowing, Madeline and Gold were getting dressed, and Hellena and Lemmy stood in a shonen anime protagonist position as the cool morning breeze blew through their hair.
"This is like some shonen anime stuff" whispered Gold, "shhh don't ruin the moment" Madeline shushed him by covering his mouth. Enjoyed the moment herself.

It is currently 8 am, the group were out and about enjoying the cherry blossoms.

Sitting in a cafe in Shinsekai, Hellena had taken them there to have some fun and look at anime stuff. Currently everyone was seated talking about the most famous anime of the 2010s and early 2020s, attack on titan. Lemmy was scrolling through her twitter feed when she squealed, she violently nudged Hellena interrupting her conversation with the rest "mate the fuck?" Hellena look confused thinking Ligma was there "look!" showing Hellena her phone "Ligma is in hospital for eye troubles!" Hellena felt bad, she didn't mean to actually cause harm to him. She just wanted a distraction so she and her friends could escape the shit show. She always chose to not harm Ligma on porpoise because he was only a human, Hellena however was a god. She was invincible against a human. Inwardly frowning she made a peace sign to rid Ligma of his eye troubles and replace them with hemeroids.

Enjoying a day in touristy areas shopping and buying all the anime merch a weeb could dream for, Hellena had an uneasy feeling that the SQUAD was being watched.

And, she wasn't wrong nor alone about that, everyone except for Gold caught on. Elon Musk had been watching them all day, following them around and taking note to himself about Hellena's subtle ways of using magic, Gold causing chaos but always being the one who isn't affected, Madeline somehow walking into traffic and not getting hit by a car THRICE, and Lemmy having an endless supplies of drugs on her. Elon was questioning why he even signed up to help Ligma Balls, but then remembered that Hellena could make all his wishes and dreams come true. She could make EVERYTHING he wanted to come true, putting his hands together he made an evil smile excited for the day he finally gets his hands on the goddess.

Meanwhile the SQUAD were home, chilling drinking .... uh drinking drinks.
"Listen up, where gonna go to Tokyo tomorrow to find my friend who is a demi-god. He might have some answers to why you lot of people are so cursed," Hellena said drinking the last sip of her drink.
"How do we get there?" Madeline asked, "aren't we far away from Tokyo?"
"Not unless we take the bullet train that shit go's ZOOOOOOM" Lemmy said, aggressively moving her arms around making "ZOOOOM" noises.
"Can we meet the emperor?" Gold questioned looking at Hellena waiting for an answer.
"Uh well... Um that's not a good idea haha..." Hellena averted her eyes "I might or might not have crashed in his bathtub wasted and woke up to his saggy two hundred year old dick that said good morning on its own..." she was having flashbacks. That was the ONE thing that traumatised her, fuck Elon Musk as Kim Kardashian with his fake disposable boobies, the talking imperial dick traumatised her. Madeline looked uncomfortable taking all the glasses from everyone and heading to the kitchen to was them. She didn't want to hear anymore about that cursed shit.

Sighing she reflected on her day and noted that this is the most fun she has had since before the war, when she had a normal life.
"Since when was life so upside down and topsy tervy" she sighed to herself washing the last cup. She headed to her room and out onto her balcony,

"The stars are pretty tonight"