Female Reader x Sans (Undertale Fanfic)

Dronk

So, we're going to Grillby's.

"Ok, here, lemme teleport us. Close your eyes."

"Um, ok."

I didn't.

I am an idiot. He said close your eyes for a reason, ya should've closed your eyes. Instead, I squinted, and opened them when I felt weightless. Tons of colour went into my eyes, and my brain felt like it was gonna explode. When we got there, it was straight to the bathroom to puke. And that wasn't it. I ran into the guy's bathroom. Didn't even notice it, till I heard Sans say,

"So, you a guy now, sugarbean?"

My eyes widened as it hit me.

"You didn't close them, did you?"

"Um.. no?"

He just laughed and walked me out.

"Frisk did that too, once. In another timeline. She ended up getting my teleport ability too. Until she reset, and everything glitched out. She ended up becomeing a guy, believe it or not."

"Omg, lol."

"'lol'?" He looked confused.

"Oh, it means laugh out loud. People on the surface use it a lot."

Grillby walked over to me and Sans.

"Um, who's this, Sans?" Grillbs asked confused.

"My girlfriend," Sans replied

"Aren't you with Y/n?"

"That I am."

"Wait, are you cheating on her?" He asked, getting hot.

"No, he isn't, Grillbs," I said.

"Wait, Y/n?" He cooled down a bit.

"In the flesh." I said, and burst out laughing.

"No way you just did that, sugarbean," Sans said, clutching his gut from laughter.

Grillby rolled his eyes and took our order. We both ordered the fires and a bottle of ketchup.

"Ok, this stuff is potent. It'll get you drunk quick." Sans said.

"Ok," I said, and grabbed the bottle.

I got drunk quick. I also remember exactly what happened, and it ain't pretty.

So, we each had 3 bottles of ketchup. It was good. After the first half of the first bottle, my face felt real hot, and after the second half, I was drunk. Two more later, and I was dizzy and felt fuzzy.

"Heey, *hic*, Skelebuns.." I said, "Wanna hear a *hic* skelepun?"

"Suuure.." He replied, eye lids (wtf) heavy.

"Whut did th' skeleton *hic* wake up wiff in de murnin?"

"Idunno.." Sans slurred.

"A *hic* boner.."

Me and Sans burst out in drunken laughter. Grillby decided we were too drunk, and called Papyrus to pick us up.

"Wait, *hic*. Paps doesnt know ima skeleton yet." I said.

"shit.." Sans said.

Paps burst through the doors and walked up to the bar.

"Sans! Y/- wait where's Y/n?"

"*Hic*, right heer, buddy.." Sans said, snickering.

"I am sorry, you must be too drunk to tell. Y/n is human, she is a skeleton."

Grillby spoke up, "It's true, Papyrus. Y/n is a skeleton now. Just like you."

"Well, *hic* i wudnt say just like him.." I drunkenly replied.

Papyrus just rolled his non-exsistent eyes and carried us home. Taking us up the stairs, he put us in bed and left.

"Ugh, my head is fuzzy.." Sans said to me, grabbing me and resting his head on my ribcage. I didn't protest, and we fell asleep.

------------------------------------

Hey there, Y/n? Miss me?

(Tibia honest, not at all.)

Shut. Up.

(Well, looks like you have a weakness.)

As do you...

(Ya know, I got a bunch of humerus puns for ya, girlie.)

And I have a rusty knife.

(And I have KINDNESS)

...

(Chara?)

Damnit.

(?)

KINDNESS is the most powerful soul trait. Nothing can kill it, unless you can neutralize it. Only Dad could do that...

(So, I'm unkillable?)

.... yea..

(...)

Welp, this has been an unfortunate turn of events, so Ima just go torture the Napstablook family. They're having a party at Blooky's.

(Um... Bye?)

Then, I woke up to Papyrus and a very worried Sans splashing water on my face.