Psycho (lashton)✔

//24//

//Luke//

Swimming.

When you first learn to swim, it's difficult and scary and every time you get in the water it's cold and daunting.

Once you've learnt how to swim, you find yourself enjoying it and even taking pleasure from being good at it or beating your best time.

Sometimes you learn new things and it gets difficult again but sometimes you think you're going to drown. Do you ever wonder what it's like to drown?

You feel the water replace the air in your lungs and you panic, your body freaking out and you thrash around, unable to get to the surface. Then there is a moment of calm as you feel yourself reaching safety but then you're pulled under again, the aching in your body and lungs and lack of oxygen getting to your brain making you dizzy and you feel like you're going to faint and-

and then you surface.

Falling in love with Ashton Irwin was like swimming. At first it scared me and then I revelled in the -literal- pleasure of his existence. But when he shouted that he loved me before I was dragged away, it only sunk in until hours later, and that was when I panicked.

When the realisation of it hit home, I couldn't breathe and I literally had a panic attack alone in my cell, crying and feeling worthless because the person who loved me was being tortured and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't even know if I loved him back, I was certain that I had more than just 'some' feelings for him. I felt like I had to do everything in my power to make him happy and if I upset him I felt so immensely bad that it physically dragged me down.

It must've been the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning until the metal door finally slid back and Ashton stumbled into the cell.

"Ashton, oh my god Ashton," I gasped, running over to him as he laid on the floor, unable to move. He had dark circles under his eyes, his breathing ragged and choppy and his hair stuck to his forehead. His hands were shaking and then his body began to shiver as well and I choked back a sob, "Ashton?"

"L-Leave m-me alone," Ashton whispered between shallow breaths.

"Ashton? It's me, Luke," I bit my lip worriedly when he didn't acknowledge my face after having studied it silently for a little while.

"I've never... never seen you b-before," he stuttered out, his body still shivering.

"Ashton, baby, can you move? Can you get onto your bunk?" I asked softly.

"I can't- m- move," he mumbled, wincing in pain when he tried to manoeuvre himself off the floor, failing and letting out a weak sob, "I- I- I don't know who you are." Ashton mumbled, seemingly terrified.

"I'm... I'm..." I trailed off, "I'm no one..."

"Where's Michael?" Ashton asked weakly, his eyes fluttering shut sleepily.

"Wh- A-" I started, biting my lip. I couldn't break it to him. I wasn't sure what had happened to him in that room but it must've messed up his head a little, "he's just... gone for a little bit."

"Oh," Ashton mumbled, his body shaking a little less obviously as his head rested on the cold floor and his arms went limp, showing that he was falling asleep.

"What did they do to you, Ash?" I whispered, stroking the sleeping boys hair.

--

a/n cry :(
~Teddy