Love Notes

27-In Denial

June

Four months into their marriage Beyoncé and Michelle decided to start IVF. They had done their research and looked for the best doctors in their area. The doctor happened to be in Rock Hill South Carolina. Dr. Speaks was world renown in the field of IVF, she had even helped to come up with many of the newer procedures concerning IVF. The couple had decided that Michelle would carry their first baby. They went the IVF route as opposed to IUI route as they felt it was the best option for them. This being Michelle's first pregnancy the doctor also suggested to do IVF. The first process took about a month to do. Michelle went on hormones and had to go through egg retrieval. Then the women sat down and chose a sperm donor who was African American.

The process was tough on Michelle and she was grateful they had chosen to do this while she was off from school. There would have been no way she would have been able to deal with the many side effects of the hormone injections while also teaching. Summer was less eventful and they had chosen not to do a big family vacation but something small this year. In June they began the long and tedious process. By the beginning of July they did the implantation and by the end of July she was showing early signs of pregnancy. When they bought a pregnancy test and Michelle took it, the results were negative. When they saw the doctor again she explained that sometimes the hormone's side effects can mirror pregnancy in some women.

Being that the first go around wasn't a success they decided to wait for a while before trying again.They took the time to grieve, even though it wasn't a loss the embryo just didn't take. It was still a process in which they had to heal from. By August Michelle felt like she was ready to do it again and so they went ahead and did a second implantation.

Flashback End

The wives took the short time to discuss how much their lives had changed and how much more it was about to change. Beyoncé held Michelle's hand and brought it to her lips to kiss her palm. Beyoncé had seen the subtle changes in her wife's body and mood but Michelle was in denial. It was funny and interesting to watch. Not to mention how Michelle's sex drive had changed and she was always wanting to have sex. They had done it in the most odd places in their home and while they were out and about. The oddest but best place was when they did it in the laundry room, something about the washer vibrations. It was as if Michelle couldn't get enough. Beyoncé also noticed her wife's sensitivity both physically and emotionally. She couldn't get angry or irritated with Michelle without her crying. The kids had even noticed her behavior changes in the last two months but Michelle was still in complete denial.

Moments later the timer Beyoncé had set on her phone went off. Both women stood up and approached the countertop next to the sink. Michelle wanted to look but at the same time didn't want to be disappointed with the results. Beyoncé already knew what it said, she just needed confirmation. She looked down at the test that clearly read pregnant six to eight weeks. Because of when they did the implantation they were guessing Michelle was closer to eight weeks. Her symptoms had been going on for a month and a half but she refused to acknowledge them. Maybe this was a new trait Beyoncé thought, but then she thought about their little break up and remembered how stubborn Michelle was in that instance. Her stubbornness only showed in certain times and areas of her life.

"Baby, what does it say?" Michelle asked, still not wanting to look, so she looked down.

"Babe we're having a baby." Beyoncé said excitedly.

Michelle looked at the test then at Beyoncé, then back at the test and burst into tears. Her tears made Beyoncé's tears start flowing. Now they were standing in the middle of their bathroom hugging and crying. It was a joyous moment for the couple. After a few minutes they finally got themselves together and got in the shower. It was early morning and the end of October. The kids were finally getting back into the routine of school Brielle was officially in high school at Mallard Creek High School. Kaleb was finishing up elementary school, he claimed fifth grade would be tough for him.