I'm sorry...~America

Kitchen

(Hey guys before we get into today's chapter I'd really like to know what you think of the story so far and how you think I can make it better. I'd really like to know what you guys think of Christina 💖 and do you think Matt should find some happiness too?)

Oh also-

⚠️GORE AND SELF HARM ARE INCLUDED IN THIS CHAPTER⚠️
Please skip this chapter if you are made uncomfortable by the subject, it's not that good of a chapter it's not worth the suffering just skip!

~Alfred's POV~
Last night Matt went next door to apologize to Christina about the bathroom incident and I thanked him for it. But if I had known he invited her over for lunch today...I would have strangled him.
"What do you mean she's coming over!?"
"I mean she'll be here in thirty minutes so go get ready-"
"No!- Matt why is she coming over?? I thought you apologized"
"Yeah but she wants to break the ice with you and get to know you better and I know you do too so it's happening, and don't worry I'll be there the whole time" Matt gave me a reassuring smile that I knew what's bull shit, I know he'll find some sort of excuse to leave us alone together.
"Matt you can't do this to me I don't even know what to say-"
"Don't talk about yourself unless she asks, focus on her, but don't be weird about it just try to be her friend, it's not that hard"
I let out a groan and decide to surrender so I have more time to get ready.
After about 20 or so minutes there was a knock at the door which Matt didn't hesitate to open, Christina was standing in the door way with her hair loose around her shoulders and a pretty blue blouse accompanied by some blue jeans. I couldn't help but stare for a minute and admire her beauty, she reminded me a lot of someone I knew...a very very long time ago.
"Christina you look lovely" Matt smiled and let her inside. "Thank you, you two both look very handsome" Matt and I both blushed a bit and sat down with her in the living room.
"I'm sorry if it's a bit messy in here we're still doing some interior work"
"I think it's quite cozy actually, it reminds me of my childhood home" She smiled at me and I could only smile back, I was so nervous I couldn't even open my mouth. "This actually is Al and I's childhood house"
"Aww that's so sweet"
"I know right, actually-" Matthew's phone went off and he quickly got up from the couch. "I'm so sorry I have a meeting to go to, you don't mind staying here with Alfred do you? I promise he doesn't bite" I shot a nasty glare at him, "no it's alright-" "great okay I'll see you two later!" Matt slipped his shoes on quickly before flying out the front door and zooming off in his car leaving me defenseless in Christina's presence.
We both sat in silence for a moment before Christina finally broke it, "so...what do you and Matt do for work?" I searched my brain for a lie and only found a part of one, "we do uh...classified stuff for the government...I guess" Christina's eyes sparkled and she leaned in closer.
"Classified? Like- Secret agent stuff???"
I stifled a laugh.
"No-no not like a secret agent...it's a lot more...complicated then that"
"Why would you choose such an important career??"
I frowned, because the truth is we didn't...we were born into it, and we'll never leave it until the day we die, and the day we die is either the day all of our people die or when the world comes to an end. I spaced out for a little too long thinking about my own prolonged existence when I realized Christina had a very uncomfortable look on her face.
"Oh shit- I'm sorry I must have spaced-"
"No it's okay...I'm sure what you do is really hard you don't have to talk about it" she got up and sat next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "I know you can't really talk about it but if either of you ever need anything I'll be glad to help you".
In that moment I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and I forced myself to turn away from her so she wouldn't see, "thank you- I really appreciate it sorry I'm acting like such a baby" I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at her. "I'm fine now...really, we both are" There was a bit of doubt in her eyes but she smiled anyway, "I'm glad" she patted my shoulder and moved back over to the other sofa to give me some space which I probably need to be honest.
The rest of lunch actually went pretty well, I didn't have anymore episodes and I managed to keep Christina entertained and happy, I even managed to get her number. Turns out we also have a lot in common; like our favorite color, animal, dessert, you know all that kind of stuff. Christina's actually from Mexico- or at least her parents are, she was born in Missouri and raised in New York for most of her life before her parents passed away. After that she moved in with her grandfather who sadly passed away as well...he was her last living relative and the owner of the house next door which he left to her in his will. You'd think she would be more upset having to relieve those tragic memories of loosing her loved ones, but she wasn't, in fact she admitted she was happy to share their stories. She told me she still feels as close to them as she did when they were alive as long as she remembers them....what a pleasant thought. I should probably consider thinking more like Christina. After lunch Maria excused herself to go back home to finish up some work and I was left home alone with nothing but an old radio, some dirty dishes, and my thoughts.
I decided to listen to some old 80's tunes on my radio whilst I did the dishes, I had to roll up my sleeves in order to not get them wet but I was quickly trapped staring at the absence of scarring on my left wrist. When countries are injured, depending on the scale of the wound we heal pretty fast and we don't tend to scar, That's why my cuts don't show up since they were self inflicted and relatively minor. But it just feels like they should still be there. I remember creating each one and what caused me to do so, but I can't remember the feeling...how it felt to actually...cut through my flesh and let the pain out. Did the pain even come out? I took a kitchen knife out from the dish washer and stared at it for a minute tracing my fingers over it. I wonder...if it would feel different now...would I even know if it did feel different? I sliced the tip of my finger open with the tip of the blade and watched the blood slowly trickle down the side of the knife and down my index finger into the sink. I flinched and dropped the knife in the sink, what the fuck am I doing?! I just spent months with Matt and Tino trying to stop doing this kind of shit and here I am splitting my fucking finger open like a frog in science! I washed my finger off under the sink before washing the blade off and putting it back in the dish washer right as Matt walked in through the front door and made his way into the kitchen.

(I'm sorry for the self harm stuff in this chapter and I'm sorry it's so short but I hope you did like it, I promise the next page will be a bit better, but please let me know your thoughts in the comments!)