I'm sorry...~America

Missing

~Alfred's POV~
The day after Christina and I'd date we decided to hook up and start officially dating so as promised I decided to call Francis and inform him and maybe take the chance talk to Matt as well and see how he's doing.
"Bonjour Alfred how are you today?"
"I'm good, you?"
"I'm fine"
"And how's Matt?"
"Eh...well he isn't worse"
"Well I guess that's not...bad?"
"You've got me" We both went quiet for a minute before Francis broke in. "Do you want to talk to him? He's about to go for a walk so it's now or never"
"Yeah sure pass me over"
"Matthew!" I heard Francis call for him and run to the front door to stop him before handing him the phone.
"Hey Al"
"Hey Mattie how are you feeling?"
"Im okay...I just need some fresh air, how are you?"
"I'm pretty good..."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, Christina and I are dating now so...yeah I'm doing pretty good"
Matthew was quiet for a minute and I swear I could almost hear the faint little smile on his face through the phone. "That's great Al....I gotta go now I'll talk to you later"
"Alright...I love you Matt"
".....I love you too" Matt quietly gave the phone back to Francis before walking out of the door and shutting it quietly. "...he sounds about the same as he did when he left" "oui...but I think I'm making progress, these past few days he hasn't even made an attempt at leaving the house until now so..."
"Yeah I guess that is an improvement"
"I agree...anyway did you want to talk to me or did you forget your brothers phone number?"
"Yeah actually, since you made such a big deal of me not telling you about my love life at the airport I thought I'd just let you know that I am officially in a relationship"
"Wow Alfred that's great! I'm very proud of you, your finally coming out of your shell~"
"Pft- anyway I'm gonna let you go now, I'm gonna go see a movie with Christi"
"Aw alright, but I want another phone call tomorrow!"
"Okay okay, love you bye"
"Love you-" Francis hung up on me prematurely. I let out a small chuckle and walked back into the living room where Christina was organizing some drawings her students gave her, I leaned over her shoulder and kissed her cheek, "Fan mail?" She laughed and leaned her head back to look up at me. "Oh yes bundles of it, could you help me store it away? I can't keep it all in my office anymore there's no room"
"Sure, want me to put them in the attic?" I examined a drawing of Christina as a tree wielding some sort of flaming sword, that or it's a Cheeto.
"Oh no it's a disorganized mess up there...I'm embarrassed of it so I can just do it myself"
"Are you sure? I really don't mind"
"I'm sure, maybe one day I'll let you help me clean it out" she laughed and I smiled at her and gave her a tiny kiss that slowly turned into a much deeper one until she broke it after a few minutes.
"By the way how's Matthew? Is he doing better?"
I hesitated for a moment forgetting that I had told her the truth about Matthew. "Oh uh yeah...pops says he's about the same but he's going on a walk today so that's a step in the right direction"
"That's great Hun" she got up and kissed my cheek. "I bet your just about ready to have him back aren't you?..."
"Yeah..." I held my hand against my cheek and closed my eyes. In my mind I could see Matthew sitting there in his bed sobbing...crying out for everything to stop...for someone to help save him...I've never felt more useless then in that very moment. I couldn't save him then and I can't save him now...that's why I shipped him off to stay with dad. He must think I'm such a shitty brother; honestly I kinda am.
"Hey" When I came to Christi was holding my face in her hands looking at me with concern. "You know you can tell me anything right?...you don't have to hide anymore" I frowned and held her hand tight closing my eyes. "I know...I just feel like shit right now...I'm sorry it's just gonna take me a while to open up completely...I'm not really used to having anyone other than countries to talk about this stuff to" She gave me a sad but understanding smile. "I get it, I won't push you...but I'm always here for you"
"Thank you" I smiled and kissed her gently. "Come on let's get all your fan mail sorted out before we get ahead of ourselves" she chuckled and grabbed a box stuffing one last drawing inside.

The next few weeks were dreadful for quite a few reasons, each one becoming worse then the last as they happened. First after about two weeks of our relationship Christina became more nervous and fidgety then usual, I tried to ask her what it was and she just dismissed it as a side effect from a medication she recently started taking that apparently messes with her cycle. Wether or not that's actually a thing I don't know but I'm not about to pry into such a personal thing. After that Francis notified me that Matthew had gone missing and all of his calls were going straight to voicemail...so I was stuck between the decision of staying in America and waiting or flying to France to help Francis search for Matthew. Which of course I ended up buying a plane ticket to France which- with my luck- was for a flight that would later be canceled for another day due to bad weather. But thankfully, after a long long flight, I made it to Paris. No thanks to Lady Luck.
Once I arrived to Francis' home we discussed what had happened the day before and after Matthew's disappearance. Matthew had been acting strange, he was in a surprisingly spry mood and wanting to spend more quality time with Pop before he had to "go" - which Francis assumed he meant back to America- which made Francis suspect a suicide attempt (making the whole experience that much scarier). But the day went surprisingly well and Matthew went to bed late after watching several movies with Francis and was never seen again. The way Francis discovered Matthew's disappearance was when he went upstairs about 15 minutes after Matthew had gone to bed, to check if he was alright (since he earlier suspected a suicide attempt) but when he opened his bedroom door Matthew's things were packed and his room was empty; after which is when he called me, and here we are.
"He didn't leave a note or anything...he hasn't called or texted he's just...vanished" Francis fidgeted and shifted in his chair, anxious about the whereabouts of his son.
"Well we know one thing for sure and that's that he's alive...so we don't have to worry about that"
"Yes but why would he run away? He wants help he said so himself, he wasn't forced to come here he wanted to and- and he hates being alone..."
"...I don't know Dad..." I looked down at the floor unsure of what to say. Francis sighed and got out of his chair. "I just want to know where he is...Paris isn't what it's made out to be it can be a very dangerous place...immortal or not he can still get hurt" Francis opened the curtains of the living room window and looked out at the streets of Paris, they were beautiful at night...but the beauty (under these circumstances) were shadowed by fear and uncertainty. "Tomorrow I'll-" the dial phone rang through the dark long hall way leading to Francis' office which made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I rushed out of my seat to go and answer it, just barley making it before the last ring. "Hello?"
"Alfred? What are you?-" the sound of Matthew's voice sent so many emotions through my brain at once I didn't know which one to focus on.
"Matthew where are you? Are you okay??"
"I'm fine...I'm sorry I left without saying anything I thought it would be better but I figured...maybe I should ya know, tell you guys I'm okay, I left Paris but I'm staying in a nice hotel so don't worry about it, I want to take care of this myself so...don't come looking for me okay?"
"What- Matt you don't have to do this by yourself though..."
"But I want to Alfred you just have to deal with that"
"Oh like you did when I was going through this?-"
"This is nothing like what you went through!" Matt snapped at me and choked up.
"It's exactly like what I went through! You want to die and don't believe it's fair your still alive, that all of those other people should still be alive"
"Stop-"
"I felt like that too Matt until you and Tino helped me realize it's not my fault and that I have just as much reason to live as anyone else so just let me do the same for you!" As soon as I finished my short speech there was a click on the other end and the call dropped. He hung up on me. Francis walked over and hesitantly took the phone out of my hands, "yelling probably wasn't the best option Alfred..."
"He's such a god damn hypocrite..."
"Don't victim blame him Alfred. Don't you dare."
"I'm sorry- I'm not trying to it's just- it's so hard he's my brother! I know exactly what he's going through, I understand his pain more than anyone else and he- he's shutting me out! He's running away like a coward and shutting everyone out of his life!"
"You mean like you did?"
I frowned and sat down on the floor next to the phone. "...Yeah...." I tucked my knees into my chest and thought about how hypocritical I was being.
Francis sat next to me and stared at the wall, "...if he ever calls back I'll apologize for you...but you should go home" I hugged myself tighter and shook my head "no...I'm staying in France until I find him, and if he's not in France then I'll look somewhere else, I'm not going to let him turn out like I did"
"What about Christina? If you do all of that you have a serious risk of loosing her..." I paused for a moment and thought about how much it would hurt to loose Christi, I love her I really do, I don't think I'll ever find anyone like her ever again but...Matthew is..he's my brother...and my best friend...I don't want to loose him either.
"I...I can't just..." Francis cut me off. "Do you love her?- no do you see yourself marrying her some day?" I looked up at him and adjusted my glasses. "Yes...i do...at some point..." Francis smiled and put his arm around me. "Then go home...be with her...I'll take care of Matthew like I said I would you don't need to worry" he gave me a reassuring smile and patted my back. I took a deep breath before letting out a sigh, "I spent a lot of money on a plane ticket and went through a lot of trouble to get here so...I'll stay for the rest of the week and then I'll go home...okay?" "Alright" we both sat in silence in the dark hallway, listening to the sounds of the serene midnight Paris street.