I'm sorry...~America

Red

~Matthew's POV~
It's been a week since my little episode with Ailbe and he's actually taken the country thing pretty well, occasionally he'll ask random questions like "Do you have superpowers?" "How long does it take you to age one year" "can countries have kids that are countries or would they be like, a state?" However I did do my best to answer all of his questions though I didn't always know the answer.
When it comes to my current mental state I can say I'm feeling a bit better then I did before, I stop flinching when Ailbe and I practice simple things like handshakes or high-fives but I'm still not very comfortable around strangers, I also decided to call Alfred and Papa and fill them in on what's been going on and i found out Alfred actually got Christina pregnant which papa and I scolded him for since they haven't been dating very long and their already about to have a kid. But I'm proud of him for staying with her and wanting to raise the kid with her, he's a romantic who rushes into things too quickly and for anyone else it would be too much but it seems like Christina moves pretty fast too so I guess it works out in the end. "Hey Matt I wanna try something new tonight okay? It's a little out of the comfort zone but I think your ready to try it"
I set my coffee down along with my book, "okay...I don't know what it is or how I'll react but...I'm willing to try it" Ailbe smiled at me "that's the spirit, hey I've gotta run to the drug store after my shift to get some meds for my Nan if you wanna come with me" I thought about it for a sec before waving him off, "no thanks I think I'll stay here, I wanted to try meditating to clear my head and I heard it helps to take a bath while you do it."
"Suit yourself, but that sounds like some mystical hippie stuff"
"Hey the sixties we're actually very enlightening for me" Ailbe snorted and smirked, "okay grandpa"
"Hey!" I stuck my tongue out at him before going up the stairs, on the way up I was flipping through the pages of my book when I bumped into a woman causing her to fall down hard on the floor. I dropped my book startled and looked down at her, "oh maple I'm so sorry! Here let me help you..." I held my hand out to her and she smiled at me taking my hand. "It's alright..." I helped her to her feet and she adjusted her tight red dress and slipped her heel drastically large back on, "merci..." she grabbed her bag and carefully walked down the stairs. Her dress was very revealing and she had multiple bruises on her legs and arms and she seemed to flinch when I held my hand out to her. I think she thought I was going to hit her...it may be rude of me to assume so but I think that girl may have been a prostitute. I grabbed my book and stood back up only to be met by the eyes of a large greasy man with yellow teeth and a large bald spot forming on the right side of his head. He was only a few inches taller than me but he puffed his chest up and stood up straight to look more intimidating and honestly it worked. "You see a girl come down here?" His voice was hoarse like a smokers and his breath reeked of...cabbage? I trembled a little but tried not to show it, "no sir..." the man huffed and pushed me aside making his way downstairs after the girl. I went downstairs after him to see where he went and saw him get in his car and speed out of the parking lot. Ailbe wasn't at the front desk, he must have already set out to the drug store. I waved to the nice Blonde lady who worked the current shift and went back upstairs and tried to forget about that woman.

That night I met Ailbe in his room and he was sitting on his bed with a movie playing on the tv behind him, I gently closed the door behind me and sat next to him. He held my hand and looked at me "we've gotten pretty far with hand shakes and high-fives but you still feel uncomfortable if a stranger tries to do those things with you so I thought we'd try turning out the lights for a bit so you couldn't see me and putting on some gloves so my hands feel different" I bit my lip and looked at the carpet, "I dunno...I don't want to freak out and hurt you..."
"You won't hurt me Matt...I trust you and I trust the progress we've made...you just have to trust yourself" He gave me a tiny smile that made my cheeks flush and I squeezed his hand tightly. "O-okay..." "alright..." Ailbe gave me some gloves and turned the lights off. It was pitch black in his room except for the small sliver of moon light peaking out from behind his blinds. I could make out a large subtle figure in the dark as a hand reached out a grazed my cheek making me flinch. "A-Ailbe not the f-face..." "I'm sorry...I was trying to feel for you it won't happen again" I reached out with my gloves hands trembling wildly, though I couldn't see much I shut my eyes tightly to avoid the sight of the massive blank figure that Ailbe's body made in the dark. I felt his fingers brush against mine as he slowly interlocked his hands with mine. The feeling only made me tremble harder as I began seeing flashes of the man's face in my mind, I opened my eyes but he was still there, his hands were clasping onto mine and he was staring at me with blank murderous eyes. I squeezed Ailbe's hands tighter and began to breathe heavily. "It's okay Matthew, it's all in your head, just let it all go" The man leaned toward me and ran his fingers along side my throat. I took a deep breath and mumbled under my breath, "it's not real it's not real...it's not real it's not real...it's not real...he...he's not real" i relaxed my grip and leaned into the man's violent touch, the man's hand slipped away from me as he retreated back into the darkness. I took a deep breath and stood up from the bed moving letting go of Ailbe's hands. I reached my hands out and felt for his face; my finger tips grazing his beard. "I'm okay...but it's really dark so can we turn the lights back on?" I heard Ailbe chuckle softly before he reached back to flip the lights back on. "I told you you could do it...though now I think I'm starting to put together what happened..."
"...I think I'm ready to talk about it...unless you wanna keep guessing"
"No not really...the guessing is what keeps me up at night, but you really don't have to tell me unless your positive your ready"
"...I'm ready" I held his hand and dragged him down onto the bed with me and I laid on my back next to him staring at the ceiling.
"...I just got back from meeting with my friend- Finland- and...My brother had left on a trip to Germany to clear some things up with the chancellor. So I was home alone and...a man started banging on my front door and ringing the doorbell...at first I thought it might be a robber but- what kind of Robber rings the doorbell? And my car was parked outside and- and it just didn't make sense..." I felt Ailbe grow uneasy and uncomfortable as I went on.
"I new something wasn't right and I heard him start jamming something in the door lock so I dove behind my couch to hide...and he got in...he was deathly quiet and I think he was trying to listen for me...like he KNEW I was in there...and an alarm went off and he...next thing I knew he was on top of me and his hands...they were around my throat..." I shuddered and gently touched my neck where his hands had been. "He strangled me until I passed out...and he stabbed me through the heart which "killed me" only...it didn't...he just put me in a coma like state that countries slip into when they "die"...and I could feel and hear everything but I couldn't see anything...but when I did regain my vision he was dead on top of me with a bullet in his head...My brothers girlfriend heard my struggle and shot him..." Ailbe sat up and looked at me with a horrified expression. "That man killed five other people before me...I was supposed to be number six but he didn't know I was a country...I've made peace with the fact that I can't take their place...But...well you know the rest...I keep freaking out over knocking sounds and doorbells and...hands..."
Ailbe stared at me stunned and speechless trying to find the right thing to say, but he couldn't and I didn't blame him for it. "So that's why I ran away...I kept hurting my brother and I hurt my dad so I decided to take care of this myself but...then you got involved and...I couldn't be more great full...." I gave him a tiny smile and picked at the lace lining of his bed sheets for a moment before looking back at him. "Matt I...I'm sorry I didn't know it was that bad...that- that's fucking horrifying..."
"...." I looked back down at his sheets unable to find any words.
"...so I really scared you when we first met huh...when I held my hand out to you"
"No!- well....yes....you did but..." I held his hand tightly and looked up at him. "But it's not your fault....really don't feel bad about it" he squeezed my hand and leaned closer to me. "Matt I..." I felt my heart thump against my chest as I found myself leaning closer to him as well until we were only about a lips distance before the sound of a door slamming startled and separated us. I turned away from him and let go of his hands trying to hide my sun burnt red face, Ailbe scooted away as well and tried to play it off casually. "So um...I guess I should...go back to my room now huh?" But I didn't...really wanna leave if I'm being honest...the encounter I had with that greasy old man is still bothering me a bit and if that door slamming was him I don't want any part of it. "...do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Ailbe tapped his fingers anxiously on the remote, his cheeks pink. I smiled and sat closer to him, "sure, as long as it's not some cheesy romcom" he chuckled and adjusted himself so he could lay down properly before turning on a horror movie; I sat next to him and laid my head against his chest. This if fine right?...just two guy friends hanging out...that's all this is we're just really close friends...right?
That night Ailbe and I accidentally fell asleep through half of the movie, it was really boring, and he was really warm...

~Alfred's POV~
I haven't slept well the past few nights, I've been too worried about Christina's health and preparing the baby that's on the way to even think about sleep. I've been going to mommy daddy classes with Christi to learn about how to raise a baby but the whole thing is just stressing me out. If I even hold a new born the wrong way it could break its neck and die! Just like that! The baby isn't even here yet and I fear for it's life. I set down my book and took my glasses off running my fingers through my hair, "what the hell am I going to do..." "Well you should be in bed..." Christina sat next to me and adjusted her robe. "You look terrible love..." I sighed and leaned against her, "I know...I just...I'm worried I won't make a good dad...what if the baby gets hurt and it's my fault?" Christina frowned and held my hand tightly "that won't happen...your going to be a great father I know you will...but a good dad needs to be well rested...so please Alfred come to bed" I sighed giving her a small smile and a pecking her gently on the lips. "Okay...let's go to bed"