I'm sorry...~America

Finally home

~Alfred's POV~
When I finally got home Matthew explained everything to me, he explained his attack and that the man was responsible for five other murders in another state and that he didn't know Matthew was a country, sadly the real police won't be able to solve their murders but none the less our private police force will stage an incident and give the families of the other victims some closer. As for Christina, our plan is to pretend like nothing happened and to convince her that it was just a terrible dream, our clean up team reloaded her gun and placed her back in bed so it would seem like she was asleep all that time but...Matthew...I'm not sure he'll be able to keep up the act and pretend like he wasn't almost murdered- well really he WAS murdered only he came back. And I think that's going to be what bothers him the most...the fact that he came back and the other victims didn't...I know exactly how he feels...I watched my friends die several times on the battlefield and each time I was shot...I hated myself for being the only one who came back. And now Matthew has to suffer through that too...

~Matthew's POV~
I still think about that night when that man broke in, I'm ashamed of it of course but when he was strangling me I couldn't help but be angry with Alfred...I was so mad at him for leaving me again... and I know he had a good reason not to be there but at the time I didn't care I was so afraid and so angry that I couldn't defend myself...I felt helpless. No. I am helpless...I'm weak and I deserve to die...if it weren't for me being a country I would be dead and then I wouldn't have to live with this gut wrenching guilt of how I shouldn't be alive. That man's five other victims were probably way stronger than me...they probably had families- real mothers and fathers and partners that loved them. And now they'll never be able to come back...and now their families are missing them with all of their hearts. Why do I- god why am I such a hypocrite? I was so angry when Alfred disappeared and left me and I did everything I could to convince him he deserved to live when now I believe the exact same thing he did and I'm not even making an effort to convince myself otherwise. I tucked my knees into my chest and glanced over at Alfred who was currently trying his best to make breakfast but of course he's already burnt the eggs on toast and the pancakes are only half cooked but I can tell he's really trying so I'll probably eat it anyway. Al yelped as he burnt his finger and rushed to put it under some cold water, I sighed and got up from the couch and turned the stove off and moved the eggs off the burner. "You okay?" Alfred nodded and kept his finger under water, "yeah...sorry I'm still a lowzy cook but can you blame me? Arthur taught me" I chuckled and leaned against the counter. "Didn't you have a date with Christina? Or something..." Alfred frowned and stared at the water, "I dunno...I'm more worried about you right now....I can always go out with her another time" "we both know that's not true, why don't you just go?...you clearly like her" Alfred sighed and turned the water off. "I do but it can wait Matt...I'm not gonna leave you until your better."
"I am better Alfred-"
"Your a terrible liar."
We stood there for a while staring at each other before I gave in, "fine do what you want but don't cry about it when she moves on." Alfred frowned and held his arm before walking past me to clean up his mess. Shit that was rude...I didn't mean for it to come out like that- ugh I'm taking it out on him! Why am I like this! I just wish I...ugh. Embarrassed and upset I went upstairs to escape anymore conversations with Alfred for a while.

~Alfred's POV~
I know Matt doesn't mean to be a dick...but it's frustrating as hell trying to help him only to get shit on but I can't blame him...I'd do the same thing if I were him. A knock on the kitchen window snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see Christina, I gave her a small smile and opened it up. "Hey, sorry I never called when I got back..."
"It's okay...I was just wondering if you forgot"
"No- no I just uh...Matt's really sick and I've been busy trying to help him get better...sorry I guess I kinda did forget huh?"
"It's okay..." she smiled at me.
"how did your trip to Germany go?"
"It was good, really good I met the Chancellor and I managed to assure everyone that the American government was indeed not trying to start a war." "That's really good!"
"Yeah...how's it been at the school?"
"Same old same old but it's close to summer so soon I'll have nothing but time on my hands"
"Well..maybe I can help with that" I smiled at her sheepishly and she giggled "I hope you do, I'll leave you alone now" she leaned through the window and pecked me on the check, "see you soon" I touched my cheek and watched her go back inside before I closed the window. I feel 1000 times better now.
(Sorry this is short but it's something :) )