You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 24

It was late and I was on the tour bus with Jack and Rian.

Zack was in his bunk being a nerd and playing Candy Crush.

Alex had went out to "get a few things." That was all I got from him and I didn't feel like pushing it.

I watched as Jack and Rian played Call of Duty and pushed each other playfully. I munched on some chips and tried to ignore the bad feeling in my stomach. You'd think I would learn not to ignore bad feelings.

I stared at the wall of the tour bus and lost myself to thoughts. I forgot that I wasn't going home tonight. Or tomorrow. Or for a couple of months. I was going to be on the road with my favorite people. So what was wrong? What could possibly be the trouble in an otherwise perfect situation.

The trouble was, I was a disaster and still couldn't stop thinking about Mark.

"Val?"

I looked to see Rian and Jack intensely gazing at me with their mouths open. "Yeah?" I asked, still a little dazed and confused. Hey... that was a good movie.

"We asked if you wanted to join? You used to play with us all the time."

I mulled over the idea in my head. Maybe shooting zombies with them would distract me from my mind. But I found myself too drained and mumbled that I was just going to go lay down.

I went back to the bunks and saw that Zack had nodded off with his feet propped up on a mound of pillows and his phone in his hands. I giggled at the sight and climbed up into the bunk I was going to share with Alex. It was small but it could still fit us both by some miracle. I pulled my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle blanket up around my arms and laid my head on my pillow. I wasn't exactly sleepy but I didn't want to be awake any more.

Maybe I could disappear into some half conscious limbo.

I felt someone climb up on the side of the bunk and poke my rib. I wanted to groan. I was trying to reach limbo here!

I turned over to see Jack. "Can I join you?" He asked.

I scooted over and let him slide in.

"You feeling okay?"

I took a long and deep breath and rested my forehead against his shoulder.

"Jack, I just can't get it out of my head. I don't feel like myself. And it's just ruined everything. I just recovered from one thing and now I'm in a constant hell."

Jack licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair.

"I wish I could help... I feel pretty useless... and so does Alex. And Rian and Zack... they're worried and they don't even know. We want to do something for you. Val, we love you."

I propped myself up on my elbow and began my rant. My quiet rant because Zack was still sleeping.

"You've done enough! You beat him up and took care of me. Alex is... well he's perfect. And Rian and Zack are great for caring but I'll be okay. I am not some charity case or some wounded child. I appreciate the gesture but really, there's no need for this."

Jack got into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around his legs. He was all limbs and funky hair.

"Val, you just said you're in hell and now it's 'I''ll be okay.' I know you will but it's not bad to admit you need help. You went through something terrible. Sometimes to be okay, we have to be broken for a bit."

I got really flustered and fell against the bunk, covering my face with my pillow. I knew he was right, somewhere deep inside me. But I wasn't ready to say that out loud.

"All I need right now is for you to go away."

Jack scoffed and the bunk shifted as he climbed out. I heard his feet hit the floor but he didn't walk away just yet.

"Alex will be back in a bit."

I had almost forgotten that he went on some mystery errand.

"Where did he go?"

There was no response but Jack was still there. I could hear him breathing and feel him leaning against the bunks.

The silence worried me so I threw my pillow aside and swung my legs over the edge of the bunk.

"Jack Bassam. Where. Did. He. Go?"

Jack shuffled on his feet and looked at his phone.

"He went to New York... He went to find Mark."

I fell from the bunk and my feet gave out. I stumbled and Jack tried to catch me but I propelled forward. I ran past Rian still paying COD and yanked open the tour bus door. Jack was following suit but I ignored him. I started to walk towards the road when I saw a figure emerge from behind some cars parked close by.

I froze and waited to see who it could be. "Val?"

Alex stepped under the light of a streetlamp and I suppressed a scream. He had a black eye, his lip was bleeding and he was holding his ribs.

"What the fuck Gaskarth?!"

He moved towards me and for once I didn't cower. I didn't care about anything except hugging him. I let him wrap me up and I gently held him closer to me. Our noticeable height difference made me feel like a little kid compared to him sometimes.

"This is only because I'm worried. The minute we let go of this hug, I'm going off and you better explain."

Alex laughed and it turned into a small cough. "Well then I'll just hug you for a REALLY long time."

Monday's suck. But I hope you guys had a lovely day! I've had a bit of an emotionally exhausting couple of days so only one update today after all.

You know the drill though. You'll get the next chapter Thursday!

Spoiler; it's in Alex's POV and it was my favorite to write.

So what do you guys think went down?

Keep voting and giving me feedback. It means the world to me.

Love you all!