You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 29

"Then the ambulance arrived and they pumped you with stuff and brought you here. The whole tour bus followed and the guys are in the waiting room. But I refused to leave you. I even caused a scene."

I couldn't believe that I had let my problems get this bad. I tried to take my life. Whether it started off like that or not, that was a suicide attempt.

Sitting in this hospital room put me into a whole new perspective. I was so small and the world was so big. My problems were just bumps in the long road of life. Yes, I was raped. Yes, it was terrifying. But that doesn't mean I should stop being alive. And it definitely doesn't mean I can't be happy with Alex. All I needed was to talk to someone. I should have listened to Alex.

Alex.

He's wonderful.

He's sitting in front of me with his tired eyes and droopy smile and he is beautiful. I suddenly want him so badly that any fear I had is gone. I'm just so grateful to be alive and I want to celebrate that with my boyfriend; my perfect rock star goof of a boyfriend.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

Alex stares at me in absolute shock and a smile spreads across his face.

"You attempt suicide, wake up in a hospital, and you ask when you can leave? You never stop amazing me."

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.

"Val, please, please don't do anything like this again. Get some help. Stay alive. For me. Do it for me."

He was desperate. I really had caused him distress. But not like I thought. The only thing making me a burden was where we were sitting.

"Do it for Baltimore?" I teased.

Alex rolled his eyes.

"Un fucking believable" he whispered.

I had to giggle and Alex touched the side of my face, looking lost in thought.

"They said you can come home tonight. But they're assigning you a therapist to have sessions with over tour."

That actually sounded really good. I was willing to talk out my issues with someone and move past this. I nodded in agreement and Alex kissed my forehead.

"I'll go get the guys. They want to see you. Then we'll get you out of here. We cancelled the date tomorrow and we're gonna have a small party for you." 

I felt a little guilty but also a little privileged.

Alex disappeared to go get the band and I laid back on my pillows. I took a few long breaths and reminded myself how lucky I am. Those thoughts were cemented when Jack, Rian, and Zack all ran in holding gifts and smiling.

"Val!!"

Rian sat down a vase of sunflowers, Jack handed me a stuffed penguin, and Zack tied balloons to my bed. Then they all took turns kissing my head and hugging me gently.

We all talked for a bit and Alex held my hand through everything. My eyes caught Jack's while we were all laughing and he winked.

"Guys, can I talk to Val for a minute?" He asked.

Zack and Rian shrugged and walked out after telling me they'd see me soon. Alex, however, hesitated.

"Man, I'm not trying to take your woman. Just give me a minute."

Alex laughed and punched him in the shoulder.

"I'm not worried about you taking her. I'm worried about her taking you."

They made kissy noises at each other as Jack playfully pushed him out of the room.

Once Jack shut the door, he turned around and looked at me with those famous puppy dog eyes.

"Val... I want you to know that..."

"I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I'm sorry I've put you through all this. I'm so sorry..." but Jack cut me off.

"I love you, Val. I love you so much. I'd do anything for you. You don't need to be sorry for a damn thing. I just want you to know, no need you to know, that when I thought you were dead, I almost lost it. But I stayed calm because Alex was the one who needed to lose it. You're his everything and I know that. But in a way, you're mine too. You're my best friend and I'm just so glad you're okay. I had to tell Rian and Zack everything so they understood... it broke my heart to tell them. Broke theirs to hear it. You're our Val."

I couldn't speak. Tears fell from my eyes like a storm and I held up my arms for Jack. He walked over to me and I held him tightly. Together, we cried. My shoulder was damp with his tears and my hospital gown was bunched up in his hands as he hung on to me.

Once we calmed down, Jack stayed put and I let out a small laugh.

"You're the best, Bassam."

He groaned and his arms went limp.

"You love it."

"Yeah, yeah."

The door opened and Alex popped his head in. "When you guys are done cheating on me with each other, we can take her home now."

Just some sweet Jack and Val fluff for your St. Patrick's Day.

Not much to say but I hope you guys are still enjoying the story and are ready for the conclusion and sequel.

How do you think this one ends??

Oh, if you haven't already, go pick up Sleeping with Siren's new album "Madness"! It is pure music perfection.

I love you guys so much.