You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 4

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It was a fall night. We'd only been home from Warped for a few weeks and I was heading home right now from the grocery store to cook Alex and I dinner. We hadn't been alone much since the guys stayed around but tonight we had set aside for us. He promised me peace and quiet and I promised him dinner. I carried the bags tucked into my arms and sang as I walked up to our door. I knew it'd be unlocked so I leaned the bags against the door for a moment so I could turn the knob.

The minute I walked in, I gasped and the bags seemed to drop in slow motion as my life crumbled away in front of my eyes. Alex was pressed against the wall with his ex girlfriend Lisa pushing against him and their lips locked. Her hands were tangled in his hair and his were on her sad excuse of an ass. I could do nothing but stand there in horror. Only when the bags finally made impact did Alex break away and see me. Lisa barely turned her head but still managed to smile smugly at me. My vision began to cloud and I blinked away the tears forming. Alex ripped Lisa's hands off him and moved towards me. I backed away and threw my hands up.

"I'll send for my stuff."

Then I turned around and ran back to my car; leaving Alex, Lisa, and the shattered remains of my heart and my groceries behind.

 Alex tried calling. He sent me a million texts. He begged for another chance. But how could I forgive him? It wasn't like she was kissing him and he pulled away. I watched as he held onto her. I saw his eyes shut and his mouth move. I could practically see his tongue working its way down her throat. The first two weeks of the break up were a blur of calls, texts, and visits from every band member imaginable and all my friends. Jack demanded to see me. His then girlfriend Layla even called. I had moved in with Rian and Cassadee until I could get my own place. But it wasn't long until I heard back from On Point and moved. It was hard and honestly I wish I had handled it differently. I hadn't even really told any of them goodbye. I didn't even get to tell Jack that he'd always be my favorite idiot. But now here I was. In New York and totally alone.

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"And you haven't talked to Jack or the other guys since you left?" Roxy asked.

"No."

The word was bitter in my mouth. How could I let 7 months go by without talking to the guys that meant everything to me? They weren't Alex. They didn't cheat on me.

"Val, please call Jack."

I went quiet.

Roxy, taking the hint to drop it, steered the conversation into what she'd been up to and my new job and all the normal catch up cliches. She left at about midnight and even after she was gone, I still heard her voice telling me to call Jack. 

I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. Jack was my best guy friend. He was always there for me when I was upset, always made me laugh when Alex was in one of his moods. We stayed up until the sun would rise sometimes, just drinking and singing off key. There was a good reason Alex was the lead singer. Jack would have done anything for me and vise versa. So why couldn't I call him?

I couldn't take all the thoughts anymore; I decided to smoke. It was late and I was sad and I wanted to see something good.

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I was backstage. The boys were on and currently performing "Weightless." We were at a venue in Arizona and it was miserably fucking hot. I was drenched in sweat, the boys were drenched in sweat, the crowd was drenched in sweat. But I still danced and sang along, Alex and the guys still sounded amazing, and the crowd was insane. The energy coming from them was incredible. It was nights like these that I loved touring with them.

Derek Sanders, the lead singer of Mayday Parade, (who were touring with ATL at the moment), walked up behind me. 

"That crowd is crazy excited!"

I nodded and took a swig of my water. Derek was pretty chill but sometimes I swore he had a thing for me. 

As Alex and Jack made jokes about being gay together in between songs, I escaped into their dressing room. I needed some AC and a comfy sofa. 

All Time Low lived up to their reputation of being hyperactive unorganized idiots. Their clothes were laying everywhere and there wasn't anywhere to sit. 

I threw some of Alex's pants into the floor and plopped onto the couch. Their set was almost over so I waited around for them.

Alex came running in not 10 minutes later. His entire body was glistening in perspiration and a towel was hanging around his neck. 

"THAT WAS AMAZING!" he screamed.

I got to my feet and lunged onto his back. 

"Babe, I'm so sweaty" he whined. 

"Oh who cares?"

He spun me around to his front and I latched myself onto his lips. He was smiling while he kissed me. Great shows always put him in a great mood.

"You're in an awfully cheery mood Mr. Gaskarth."

"Just shut up and kiss me."

I couldn't argue with that. We collapsed into the mess that was the sofa and continued to make out until I couldn't breathe. What a wonderful use of my breath. 

Jack and the boys came bursting in and I jumped off Alex. 

"Don't stop on our account" Jack joked. 

"Actually, please do" Zack butted in, laughing. 

After that, we all passed around a cheap bottle of wine and basked in the glory of a wonderful show.

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Enough memories for one night. My head was going to split open and my heart was going to give out if I didn't get some rest. Half high and half too depressed to function, I crawled into bed. Friday was going to be the hardest day of my life.

A/N: I hope it's good so far! Just one more chapter until the night she sees Alex again!