You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 28

I was in a hotel room. I was sitting on the bed, trying to gather my thoughts, and absentmindedly scratching my tattoo. Alex appeared behind me on the bed. He was sitting on his knees and his hand swept my hair to one side and he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. He moved my hand and traced my tattoo lightly. The feeling of his fingertips on my skin made me tingle. My tattoo was so personal to me; a sunflower with my lost cousin's name in the middle. It was, in its respect, my version of Alex's rose. I had gotten it just before I met him and it was on the reasons we seemed to work together. We didn't just compare scars and stories, we compared tattoos.

I shivered as his hand went further down my back and he pressed his lips to my neck. We'd been together for two months and this was the first time we'd ever been.... well this was going to be the night we had sex for the first time.

Alex was gentle. He was passionate. He was perfect. Even in the beginning. He didn't disappoint me then and he hasn't disappointed me since. I can still remember how we hardly made a sound that first time. I can still remember how after, I curled away from him and cried. And when he asked me what was wrong, I said "I don't know." And we laughed.

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In reality, I woke in a hospital room. Man, what a change of scenery. My head was killing me and I didn't want to move. My eyes scanned the room slowly. Alex was sitting in a chair, his jacket around his shoulders like a blanket, and his head was on the back. He was snoring quietly. God, he was precious. I shut my eyes and tried to remember what happened.

Me and Alex fought.

I was a bitch.

He ran out.

I went to get pills.

I took them....

So how did I get here? Oh God, Alex must have found me. I didn't even want to imagine what he felt, what he thought, or what the first thing he did was.

I heard Alex stir and I tried to stay still. I peered out of my left eye to see him groaning and stretching. His appearance finally became more obvious to me. He looked absolutely ragged. He had bags under his eyes, his beard was crazy, his hair was pointing every which way, and he was pale.

"Val..." He whispered.

I wasn't sure if he was really talking to me or just to himself. But when he hung his head and pulled at his hair, I assumed to himself.

I stayed quiet. I just watched Alex torture himself. I could hear him whispering but couldn't make out what the words were.

I couldn't take another second of him like that.

"Alex?" My voice cracked and I sounded like I had throat cancer.

Alex lifted his head quickly and he blinked at me more times than Bella Swan.

"Hey. You're awake."

I licked my dry lips and tried to lift my hand but my whole body felt like a noodle.

"Be easy baby" Alex warned, coming over to sit on my bed.

"What... what happened?" I asked.

Alex pursed his lips and looked down at his hands. "Well...."

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ALEX'S POV

I was still pretty heated but it had been long enough. I couldn't stay mad at Val very long. She once broke one of my guitars and I didn't get past her big sorry eyes and guilty little voice. I ended up apologizing for being angry.

I had been killing the time at a bar, playing darts when Jack called me and told me he and the boys had went to an arcade and were heading back. So I decided to go back too. Val shouldn't have been alone and I didn't want the boys to spook her.

When I got back to the bus, Jack was already coming out the door again. He stumbled and I couldn't help but to laugh at his wobbly legs.

But the mood changed when I saw his face. It was drained of all color and he was panting.

"Alex..."

I knew this had to be bad. Jack didn't get like this for nothing. There was only one thing I could think of...

"It's Val" he said in one breath, confirming every fear I had.

I turned into a tornado. I ran into the bus and sprinted past the front room. Rian and Zack had their backs to me and were looking down. I moved them out of my way but Rian tried to stop me.

"Alex, man. Wait."

Val was on the floor, bottles surrounding her, and her face and lips were white. I stared at her, in horror and heartbreak.

My Valerie.

She couldn't be dead. If she's dead, I'm dead. I hit my knees and scooped her up into my arms. I pressed my fingers to her neck. I couldn't feel anything...

No.

All my manliess went out the door and I broke down. Rian and Zack looked down at their feet and didn't say a word. Jack came in and sat beside me. He was crying too. Of course he was crying to. The whole universe should be crying.

I rocked Val back and forth and cried and screamed until I thought the whole country would hear me. Jack wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I leaned against him, letting him comfort me.

"I can't lose her too. I can't lose her too."

A faint thump hit my fingers. I stopped moving and my crying subsided almost instantly.

I waited.

Another thump.

"She's alive! Call an ambulance!"

Rian went into overdrive and dove into his pocket for his phone.

He went to the other room to explain what happened to whoever picked up that phone and Jack and Zack sat down in the bunks and waited.

I was kinda lost in my own world. A world that was crashing down in my arms.

Why would she do this?

I've loved Val since the day she showed up in my life. I have loved her more every day since then. But never have I loved her more than I did right now.

Valerie Miranda Majors, if you live through this, I'm going to marry you.

Impromtu late night updates because I needed you to know Val was alive.

Next update on Tuesday.