You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 21

I woke up to find myself in my bed. My head was pounding and I was aching all over. The area between my legs especially. I slowly lifted up my arms. There were bruises in the shape of fingers on my biceps. My lips felt raw and my throat was burning. I tried not to think of the reason I was like this. I tried to fight it away. But there was no running from it.

I got raped last night... by Mark. That sleeze.

My stomach flipped and I raced to the bathroom. After choking up whatever contents was in my stomach, I laid flat on my bathroom floor. What was Alex going to say? I had to tell him.

God, he'll kill him.

I heard footsteps and panic seized me. He stayed here?! What? For round two?! I squeezed my eyes shut and anticipated the worst.

"Val? Are you okay?" A small familiar voice asked.

I looked at the feet of the speaker. Sure enough, it was him.

I lifted my head and saw him. Jack was standing there with his hair disheveled and holding his hand. His knuckles were bruised... He had a cut above his eye and his wrist was wrapped.

"Jack?" My voice cracked and his face twisted in pain. He helped me to my feet and wrapped me up in a gentle hug.

"I came to surprise you. I was going to help you pack and drive to Jersey with you. I used your hidden key and when I came in... He was buckling his pants. I saw you lying there..."

Jack was getting worked up and he had to break away from me. He sat on the edge of my bathtub and clenched his jaw.

"That disgusting fuck! I knew what he did... I attacked him. I had never been so angry in my life. I just knocked him into your table and started to punch him. He barely had a chance to fight back. He got a good shot in with that ring though" he said gesturing to the cut on his face.

"But I didn't give up. I punched until he stopped moving. Then I kicked his ass out and told him to watch his back because this wasn't over. Then I carried you to your bed..."

Jack's voice broke off and he had to grab his hair.

"Val... I was so scared... I... and I'm sorry your living room is a disaster now..."

I was crying.

"Jack Bassam Barakat, you beat a guy up for me? And you apologize for the mess?"

He looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes and I had never had such an urge to kiss him. So I did. I tilted his chin up and pecked his lips.

"I love you so damn much Jack."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my stomach. "I love you too. Are... of course you aren't alright. But do you need anything?"

Truth is, all I needed was Alex to kill Mark and then maybe some ice cream.

"I need to tell Alex..."

Jack nodded and took my hands in his.

"Wait until we get to Jersey. I'll help you if you want."

I shook my head. "Thank you but you've done quite enough. I need to do it on my own."

Jack seemed to want to object but didn't. He led me to the kitchen without a word. "I'll make you something to eat then we'll get you ready. Do you need some medicine?"

I nodded and touched my stomach. I felt dirty all over. I had trusted Mark and he did this. Why didn't I kick him out last night? It was all my fault.

Jack handed me some medicine and kissed my head. I wanted to disappear when I caught sight of his hand up close. It was practically destroyed and he had to play with it like that.... I burst into tears and almost fell out of my chair.

Jack grabbed me and started to stroke my hair.

"Hey hey. Stop Val. It's ok now. I'm here."

"Jack! Your hand! How will you play?! I'm so sorry!"

Jack pulled me back to look at my face.

"It's not that bad Val. Just looks banged up. Don't you dare worry about it and never apologize. I'm just glad you're okay."

But I was far from okay.

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Jack spent the rest of the day fussing over me and trying to make me laugh. That, of course, involved a lot of crude humor and humping things. But then he'd feel bad and start to be sweet to me and offer to buy my something. He was being no short of perfect but this wasn't something to recover from in a day. I could still feel Mark touching me. I could still hear a faint grunting in my ear. I fought the urge to vomit again all day and helped Jack finish packing.

I took a quick shower but begged Jack to stay in there with me when I noticed that my neck had red marks on it that matched the ones on my arms. The horror was too much. He turned his back and played an app on his phone the whole time and would occasionally ask me how I was.

It was nighttime and Alex had texted me asking if I liked his surprise of sending Jack. I thought for a moment what would have happened if Jack hadn't shown up. Immediately regretting that thought, I thanked Alex for sending the hero Barakat.

He wanted to call but I wasn't ready to hear his voice so I told him I was tired and would call him before leaving. He happily listened and told me he loved me.

I love you too, Alex.

I just hope you still love me after this.

Jack offered to sleep beside me in my bed and knowing I'd have nightmares (if I did get to sleep), I agreed. Jack lightly ran his knuckles up and down my arm trying to lull me to sleep but every time I shut my eyes, I saw Mark and opened them again.

How do you deal with your demons when they curl around you and hide behind every corner of your subconscious?

We laid in the darkness and I could tell Jack was sleepy by the way his hand started to slow down and his breathing became quieter. I heard him start humming and recognized the song instantly.

"Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off and carry me home" we sang quietly together.

We sang the entire song twice and I saw Jack's eyes droop in the low moonlight. You know... He really was adorable. His long eyelashes brushed his cheeks and his mouth was hanging open. I loved Jack in the most intense way a person can without being in love. I could never see him like that but I would do anything for him. His entire being was a reason to smile.

I grabbed my phone and opened it to see my background. A picture I had snapped of me and Alex snuggling before they left. Now Alex... I loved him so much it consumed me. His face made me almost forget what Mark did and I looked at it until I was able to fall asleep.

But sadly, the nightmares still happened.

I screamed and thrashed against Mark's hands. He pushed into me roughly and I begged him to stop until my throat felt like it was bleeding. But then I saw Alex. He was mortified. He told me he could never see me the same and left me crying in the floor.

I jolted awake and looked around. Jack was still sprawled out above my covers and sleeping soundly. The sun was beginning to rise. No more sleep. Not until I see Alex. Then I crept to the bathroom.

Happy Thursday! Actually it isn't such a happy Thursday... my friend's turtle died today. I loved the little guy.

Anyway, I promised an update today! Don't you love that Jack was the hero?

Next update will be on Monday and Alex finds out about what happened. Dun dun dun.

Speaking of Alex, my heart is broken at the news of his engagement. But he deserves the best... and I support him no matter what.

Though I think Valexander is better! ;)

What do you guys think?