You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 12

Double update because Valexander.

Alex and I sat across from each other at my kitchen table. I had my feet folded under me and my arms crossed over my stomach.

He raked a hand through his hair and kept his eyes on his feet.

I studied his face. He looked tired. He looked sad. Heavy black bags were under his eyes and his mouth seemed to sag in a frown even when his face was relaxed.

"I'm sorry..." his voice finally broke the silence.

"For?"

"For....everything. Seeing you last night did crazy things to me Val. I've been so depressed. I felt... well for lack of a better word, dead. And when I saw you, it was like my heart started again. When we were kissing, it was like you never left. And then she showed up. But I swear to you I didn't know about it and we all kicked her ass out."

Alex's eyes were on me now and he had his hands outstretched on the table. I stared at the rose tattoo on his left hand with his brother's initials on it. I can still remember when he told me about his brother. When he got that tattoo.

I touched it softly and he watched me, like he was waiting for me to stab him.

"Sing to me Alexander."

He cocked his head to the side and his eyes seemed to glisten.

"What?"

"Just do it."

He waited for a moment and then started to hum.

"I was dreaming we were running from a city burning down, down, down. Made a break, a new escape, and let the world crash down, down, down"

He coughed before going on.

"Now there's a piece of me, tells me I shouldn't leave, every time I see your face. Because every time you come around, love you take my breath away."

Now he was fully emerged in what he was doing.

"And I just wanna breathe until I take you in. I never want you to leave until I take you in. But the truth is..."

He held out the last note and his voice cracked, causing him to smile and stumble a bit.

"She has no idea. That I'm even here. She has no idea. That I'm even here."

I watched as he sang the whole song, his eyes closed, a grin on his lips and his hands tapping his knees.

When he was done, I had to wipe my face and catch my breath. Alex opened his eyes and noticed my distress.

"I love you Valerie."

And that took me back to when he first said that to me.

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Alex and I had been dating for about 4 months. I was currently visiting him in his hometown of Baltimore and we had just gotten done eating dinner at some fancy place. Well trying to eat dinner. The whole night had been a disaster.

I had left curlers in my hair too long and it was frizzy and crazy. My dress ripped on our way in. A waiter spilled lasagna all over Alex. And a bratty kid had gotten sick in front of our table.

We were now standing outside in the brisk air waiting for our car to be pulled around.

We hadn't spoken much since exiting the building and it was because both of us thought the other was upset about the night being ruined.

Truth is, we both just wanted to laugh.

Not being to take silence anymore, I said "so... that was good water."

Alex chuckled timidly at first but slowly his laugh grew into an all out slap your knee, throw your head back and howl kind of cackle.

I joined in and we leaned against the wall to keep balance as we hysterically cracked up.

"Val?"

His face was red and it was hard for him to get the word out.

"Yeah?"

He calmed himself and grabbed my hand.

"I love you."

Under the Baltimore moonlight, both of us looking like a train wreck and still pretty hungry, he told me he loved me for the first time. It was hardly the most romantic way to do it but it was the perfect Alex way to do it.

Not knowing what to say yet, I laughed some more.

Alex gazed at me with his mouth hanging open.

That poor bastard thought I was laughing because he said he loved me.

My laugh came to a halt in one of those silly sighs and I looked up at the sky.

"I love you too Alexander."

Then we were kissing right as our car arrived and the valet was honking the horn.

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"Val?"

I shook my head and locked eyes with Alex.

"What?"

"You love me too?"

Well shit, I said that out loud.

Happy Monday! I had a rough day and thought updating may lift my spirits. I hope all of you are good! Next update may be up by the end of the week or beginning of next! Much love!