You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 11

"Why the fuck should I? Alex doesn't own me. We aren't together. We aren't even friends."

"But you should be together!"

"And that has nothing to do with what I've been doing!"

"It involves him!"

"Yeah and the pain he caused me!"

We were both standing now and puffing out breath as we stared at each other. What a strange thing to do; to argue with Jack Barakat. He dropped his arms to his sides and sighed.

"Val... I just want you to be ok."

"I am ok."

Jack groaned in frustration and his arms went flying back up.

"Why are you even here? How did you get in?" I interrogated him, taking a very concerned interest in how he got into my apartment without me letting him in. I found that to be a perfectly reasonable thing to be curious over.

"I was close by getting coffee when Roxy told me that you seemed distant and we really needed to talk. So I decided to swing by. I knocked a million times and got no response. I was worried and I know you so I knew you would hide a key in the plant beside the door so I let myself in. I'm sorry but I'm glad I did."

I plopped back down into my chair and put my face in my hands. This day has completely drained me.

"I'm not telling Alex."

Jack crouched down to be eye level with me and pulled my face up.

"Fine. But try to stop? Please? I just want you to stay in your right mind."

"I don't think I have a right mind anymore..."

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Jack stayed around for a bit and I made us some pancakes. He always loved when I made any type of breakfast food.

"Well I should probably go. We aren't staying in New York much longer and I promised to get my mom something."

I took a big bite of syrupy pancake and held back my laughter.

"Awhhh, how sweet" I picked. His face flushed and he pushed away his plate. He may be 26 but he was still a child.

I put our dishes in the sink and walked him to the door.

"So do you forgive me?" Jack asked before opening the door to go.

I nodded curtly and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Do you forgive me?"

Jack waved his hand in the air.

"Of course. Stay in touch. I love you Val."

"I love you too Jack Bassammmm" I drew out his middle name in a mocking tone.

"Oh shut up Valerie Miranda."

He kissed my head and turned the knob to my front door.

When it opened, I gasped and Jack froze.

Alex was standing with his fist up, about to knock.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, pointing to Jack. Neither of us spoke a word and Alex seemed to be impatient.

He looked from me and Jack and his face fell, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Roxy told me Jack was here... I didn't realize I was interrupting something important" he said.

Jack still had an arm around my shoulder and I remembered I was just wearing a tank top and shorts.

Even though it was ludicrous, it looked like we may have just had a moment in there.

Jack moved his arm and crossed them across his chest.

"You're unbelievable sometimes Gaskarth" he spat.

Alex rolled his eyes and stepped back.

"Whatever man. Let's just go."

I felt oddly like I was in quicksand and two people I cared about were hanging from cliffs three feet away and if I said the wrong thing, they'd both fall. Why I felt like that, I couldn't tell you. Alex shouldn't care even if something did happen between me and Jack. This situation had a very soap opera-esque vibe and I was a little overwhelmed.

Say something Valerie. The tension was just far too unbearable.

"Alex, Jack was here checking on me. And he was just leaving." Damn, I was a real problem solver, wasn't I?

Alex looked like he had just heard the most life changing thing ever spoken. He looked between us and furiously shook his head.

"Of course... you two would never... I'm sorry... I just..."

"It's fine" Jack and I said in unison. I just wanted this whole conversation to be put to bed.

Alex brought his attention to me and I uncomfortably shifted on my feet.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

I could see Jack waiting for my answer out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah."

Alex smiled in complete surprise and straightened his back.

I took in how he was dressed and the way his hair was styled and that he already had a shadow on his face again. If he was going to come in, he had to sit a safe distance away from me.

Jack quickly said he'd call me soon and told Alex he'd see him back at the hotel later.

Then I led Alex into my apartment.