You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 2

I woke up to the sun streaming in from my windows. It hit my face and I opened my eyes, blinking them a few times. I needed to get up and shower for work. I let my feet hit my cold hardwood floor and I raked my hands through my long and unruly morning hair. I walked to the bathroom and sighed as I passed the mirror. My long brown hair swept past my breasts and stuck out everywhere due to my tossing and turning at night. Underneath my now dull green eyes were darkened circles. My round face seemed like it was beginning to sink in. I slid a hand down my face and blew out a long breath. I started the water in my shower and it worked like a shock system on my mellowed out body.

 I pulled on some black trousers, a light blue tank top, a black cardigan and a chevron patterned scarf. With my normal amount of make up (just enough to look healthy but not so much to look fake) and my hair thrown into a braid, I decided I looked presentable enough. I zipped up my boots and grabbed my handbag. Living in New York had its fabulous attributes and it's not so fabulous attributes. One of the non fabulous was either choosing to walk to work or hailing a taxi. Today, with an extra nagging need for coffee, I picked walking. My office was only a couple blocks away and there was a small cafe on the way.

 I sipped on my coffee cup and leaned back in my desk chair. I worked for On Point magazine as a critic of all things pop culture. I used to work for Alternative Press and that's how I met Alex. I was covering a story about that years line up at Warped and he bumped into me at a merchandise table for A Day To Remember. I had that job the entire time I was with Alex, which is why it was so easy for me to travel with him. I quit after our breakup because he was always making an appearance in the pages and it was too painful. My very understanding boss let me go and gave me great recommendations everywhere he could think of. I heard back from On Point almost immediately and moved out to New York. At the time I thought it would also help with leaving Alex and punk life behind but I couldn't. I still had drawers full of band t-shirts, some black undertone to my hair, a tattoo on my shoulder, and the hole in my nose where a hoop used to be. You can take the girl out of the punk rock but you can't take the punk rock out of the girl.

 I was typing away a review on a new album from a pop princess robot who had some catchy songs when my boss walked in.

"Miss Majors, I have a review for you. It's a little different from our normal stuff but it's right down your old alley of expertise" my boss, Sierra Massey said in her unmistakable Australian accent.

I raised my eyebrow and motioned for her to continue.

"It's a concert review. It's a big one because it's a band playing at Madison Square Garden that wouldn't normally catch such a break. I'll get you a press pass and you can also interview the band. Sound good?"

It didn't sound good. It sounded amazing. I stood up to shake my boss's hand.

"Wow yes! That sounds incredible! Whose the band?"

Every ounce of excitement drained out of me when Sierra said "All Time Low."

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 Getting high wasn't cutting it tonight. I was sitting at the bar, shooting back shots, and talking the ear off of my best friend in the city, Mags. She was shaking her head at me. She was a good friend but she was very disapproving of my old rocker life and didn't understand how a lead singer of some lame band could have me so messed up. She made me miss my old friends. The ones I grew up with, listening to Blink 182 and Green Day, and got tattoos with for my best friends 18th birthday. The ones I would send tickets to Warped when I was with Alex and meet up with and they'd come party with all the bands. But I didn't have that life anymore. We would talk every so often but I hadn't seen much of them since "that fateful night."

 "Val, it's time to grow up. Just go do your job. Maybe he won't even recognize you." Mags said.

How comforting. Maybe the love of my life already forgot what I looked like after 3 years of dating just in the span of 7 months. I threw back one more shot and walked out the bar. After touring with a rock band, you knew how to handle alcohol. I didnt even stagger when I walked. I pulled my hair loose from the braid it was in and tossed my hair band into my purse. I walked slowly back to my apartment and tried not to bump into the nightlife.

My eyes caught sight of a billboard hanging above some buildings across the street. "ALL TIME LOW IN 4 DAYS"

There was a picture of the four guys under it. Rian, Zack, and Jack looked goofy and cute as always and Alex, in his famous American flag pants and a Glamour Kills shirt, looked devastatingly beautiful. They all looked so happy. I tasted something salty on my lips and reached up. I hadn't even realized I was crying. I needed to get home and into my bathtub. I just wanted to sit in warm water and bubbles and for once, let myself feel the pain that was pressing itself on my heart like a weight.