You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 6

A/N: Double update because I was just too anxious about her seeing Alex again!!

Thursday night, I sat staring at my press pass for the show the next day like it was going to float away. Maybe I was hoping it would.

So many scenarios ran through my head.

He won't remember me.

He'll be angry.

He'll be heartbroken.

He'll be happy and we'll get back together.

No, Val, stop that. You can't think that.

I shoved my fists in my eyes and held them there until colored dots appeared in my vision when I dropped them. Suddenly my phone buzzed with a notification. A text from Jack.

"Look gorgeous tomorrow. You never know what could happen."

Stop. Don't put that kind of hope in my mind Barakat. But the idea of looking gorgeous intrigued me... I've been putting up a front for 7 months. I could do it tomorrow night.

I make myself look irresistible and act like I'm happy and maybe I can avoid any of those scenarios. We'll act civil and part ways as acquaintances while I agree to keep in touch with Jack and the guys.

That. That could work. I ran for my closet and picked out the outfit I've been saving for an occasion just as this.

Okay not exactly like this, but a special occasion.

After that, I went to bed. There was no need to get high tonight. Seeing Jack supplied me with enough emotionally draining memories.

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I spent most of Friday trying to act like it wasn't Friday. I laid in bed for hours, refusing to even look at the clock. But when my stomach wouldn't stop growling, I decided I needed to eat. 

I finished up my gourmet meal of Mac and Cheese and a ham sandwich when I noticed the time.

It was already 4. Shit. I know how to avoid getting up and facing reality.

I threw my dishes in the sink and ran to my bathroom to get ready.

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5:30.

The show was at 7.

I think I've passed the facing reality line and am now just running late.

After I was dressed, I looked in my mirror.

I was sporting a black dress that stopped just above my knees and puffed out at the waist with red lace on the sleeves and torso and my red converse. I was letting my punk show through tonight. It was All Time Low after all.

I applied some eye liner and red lipstick and grabbed my bag stocked with a notebook, pencil, press pass, and my phone.

Then I headed out.

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MSG was packed. Kids with every colored hair imaginable and clad in band merch were piling into the doors. I had called Jack and he agreed to meet me at the back entrance with Roxy.

I texted them when I got out there and the door swung open.

I was pulled inside and pushed against the wall. "Alex is in the dressing room. I'll hide you beside the tech guy while we play and afterwards... well you'll make your appearence" Jack said giving me the low down on our plan.

I shook my head and tried to catch my breath.

Roxy laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. It didn't help.

While I was racing to get ready my emotions at been kept at bay but now they were pouring out like sand from a broken hourglass.

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I stayed where I was put during the opening acts; two bands I didn't know but were kinda trashy. I couldn't shake my nerves. My heart was going a mile a minute, my head was spinning, my throat was closing up, and my palms were so sweaty I couldn't hold my phone.

The lights went out. "GIVE IT UP FOR ALL TIME LOW!"

I swear I died.

They came running out to rap music because they thought they were cool.

It sucked to admit but they kinda were.

I saw Rian and Zack and felt myself get queasy. It was hard seeing them. 

But then my heart fell straight out of my ass.

Alex stood at the microphone, smiling so widely it put the lights to shame.

His brown hair was perfectly askew, he was clean shaven at the moment and his big brown eyes were warm and inviting.

Holy shit. I was going to cry.

No, I already was.

The tech guy touched my arm and I looked away, embarrassed that I was crying in front of him.

Listening to him sing was the second most painful thing I've ever sat through. The first was the jokes he made in between songs. My heart strings were being yanked every which way like a puppet and Alex's voice was the puppet master. Why was he so perfect? He got to "Therapy" and I couldnt withstand another second. I took off to the bathroom and hid in there until the end; only hearing him at a distance.

When they announced the end of the show, I crept out of the bathroom. I had cried off my eye make up and my lipstick was long faded. I didn't look like a disaster but I looked like I may have just woken up from a nap. 

As soon as I stepped out, my eyes caught his.

"Valerie?"

I completely disappeared into my despair as I stared Alex for the first time since I ran out on him.

Sorry if that was kind of dodgy! I just wanted to get her to that concert!!!