Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 36

Harry´s POV

After about an hour Lucy has finally stopped crying and her head is laying on my chest now. Her eyes are closed but I know that she´s not sleeping. She´s just trying to escape this world. I try to calm her by massaging her head and kissing her every now and then.

"We need to get ready for the funeral now." I whisper into Lucy´s ear after checking the clock. Lucy lets out a small whimper and squeezes my waist.

"I don´t want to." She tells me and I nod.

"I know but your mom would want you to go there." I say but Lucy shakes her head.

"No. She would have understand me." She whispers and I let out a deep breath.

"Let us go, though." I say and after a few minutes Lucy is finally able to stand up and walk into the bedroom. I follow her and watch her as she grabs some black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt from the cupboard.

"I will take a shower quickly and make myself ready." Lucy turns around and I give her a small smile. She leaves the bedroom and I am able to replace my white t-shirt with a black one. I´m wearing black jeans almost everytime, so this is one thing I don´t have to change.

Even if Lucy did say some horrible things earlier, I know that was probably just because she doesn´t feel well. I know that she isn´t going to kill herself. She is strong and she will realize that soon. Lucy is not going to leave me alone. And what about her dad and her friends? They need her as much as she needs them.

...

The car ride to the church is quiet. I look over at Lucy every once a while. Her head is laying against the window and she seems repellent, like she´s in another world.

"We´re here." I whisper after a few minutes and Lucy closes her eyes while taking a deep breath. There are not many people here yet, but I can see her dad already. We both unbuckle our seat belt and get out of the car. I quickly walk over to Lucy and lay my hand around her waist to hold her tightly. I know she hates being here, so am I, but it will be over soon.

Lucy´s POV

Me and Harry make our way towards the church to my dad. I feel like I´m not even here. I would love to just run away and escape to another world, where all of this doesn´t exist.

Maybe I don´t have to face this when I´m not alive anymore.

My dad hugs me tightly when we finally reach him and I give him a small smile, even if I don´t feel like smiling at all. But I have to convince my dad that I´m alright, he doesn´t need to worry about me.

"How are you feeling?" My dad whispers and I just shrug my shoulders.

"We´re okay, I guess." Harry answers for me and he squeezes my hand. I´m glad Harry talks for me. Harry knows that we´re not okay, well at least not me, but it´s great that he knows that I don´t like my dad worrying about me.

The next thirty minutes are spend with people coming towards us and wishing us their condolence. I barely remember all of the people. Most of them didn´t even know about my mom and are just people from our town.

Lena suddenly steps infront of me and I even have to smile when I see her. I´ve phoned her once after mom died. She´s the only one who knows about my cutting. Lena hugs me tightly and it feels good that she´s here. I didn´t know that she were coming.

"Don´t forget that I´m here for you. I´m very sorry for your loss. No words could ever describe your pain and I know what you might feel like. I know that everyone is telling you to stay strong but I know that it´s not easy. Just try your best please." Lena whispers and I have to hold back my tears again. Finally someone who understands me.

I only nod at her when she finally lets go of my hug. Lena squeezes my hand quickly before going back.

Before the funeral starts I go to the coffin with Harry. I softly lay my hands at it. My heart is beating quicker now as the thought appears, that mom is in there and that she´s never ever going to come back to me. Tears are making their way out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I don´t think anything could be more painful than this is.

"Let us sit down now." Harry whispers in my ear and we make our way back to the benches to sit down next to my dad.

The fair is unnecessary. The pastor is talking some shit but I´m not listening. I´m far away and I just try not to fall asleep... I´m too tired now. I would need some food and liquid really badly. I don´t think my body will stand all of it much longer.

"Would it be okay for you if we´re not going to the cemetery and funeral meal? I´m sorry but I just can´t do this." I whisper in my dad´s ear. I wanted to go there but I just can´t. I know that it hurts my dad but he just nods and smiles at me.

"It´s okay, don´t worry." My dad tells me and I lay my head against his shoulder.

People are leaving for the cemetery but I just can´t look at my mom being let down there. Instead Harry and me walk to his car and step inside. I´m feeling more and more dizzy and I know if I won´t eat and drink anything soon I will probably break down. I already just see black when I stand up or do something real quick.

"Harry.. I don´t feel that well right now." I look into the car´s mirror and see my face paler than ever before. Harry quickly stops driving and looks at me worriedly.

"What´s up?" He asks me and I quickly open the door to get some fresh air.

"I probably should eat and drink something soon." I tell him and my breathing goes faster. I hear Harry say something but I already black out.

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