Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 4

"How was it at your therapiest? You look so fucking beautiful, like always." Harry stands behind me, his hands on my waist and his mouth kissing my neck. I need him, but I have to tell him now. I turn around and take a step back, Harry looks surprised and almost mad for me stoping him.

"I need to talk with you." I finally say. I have been avoiding talking about it for a few hours but that won´t make the situation any better.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Harry looks shocked and worried and I don´t know if I should smile or cry right now. I let out a deep breath and Harry steps towards me, taking my hands in his.

"A few days ago I saw your laptop on the table and you were having a shower. You know I would never control you but your Facebook profile had been open and I saw this group about me. I read a lot about it and..." Harry´s eyes widen and he frowns.

"You did what?" He asks in disbelief. Harry takes a step back and shakes his head.

"I thought I could fucking trust you!" He almost screams at me and I don´t know what I should say or do. I take a step towards him and I want to touch him but he steps back again and avoids my touch. This hurts.

"Harry why have you never told me about this group? I thought you´re honest with me and I´m just hurt and dissapointed." I try to explain but this only drives him angrier.

"Lucy there is a good reason why I never told you about it and I you know how I hate it if my girlfriend controls me. Nothing bad happened and I would have dealed with it." Harry´s voice only grows louder and I don´t even get why he´s making such a drama about it. I should be the one who´s dissapointed.

"And what´s the reason then? You never wanted me to get hurt again?" I say with an sarcastic tone and now my voice gets louder too.

"Exactly! I could have dealed with it on my own and you know just how much I want you to be happy." I shake my head.

"Harry, I´m not happy if my boyfriend has secrets infront of me." My eyes get wattery and I don´t want to cry. Fuck this, why am I so fucking emotional?

"This isn´t even a big deal, Lucy. It´s not something you have to know about and it wasn´t a secret for me. I´m sorry I didn´t tell you." Harry mumbles but this argument isn´t over yet.

"How would you even deal with it on your own? Tell them to stop?" I have to laugh at that and it drives me mad. Harry rolls his eyes at me and I hate this.

"I would have went to the headmaster and tell him about it. They would have had to delete it and everything would be fine again." Harry explains but I shake my head.

"Do you think this would fucking help? Don´t even try to tell me that they are not talking about me in school. I can´t believe you never told me about it." I scream at him.

"Lucy I wanted to protect you! I didn´t do it to hurt you! What would you have done if I told you? You can´t change anything about it and I´m trying my best to change something." Our voices are getting louder second by second and this whole argument doesn´t make sense at all. I´m just so angry.

"You are right, I couldn´t have changed something but as your girlfriend I deserve to know if someone is talking about me. And what are you even trying to do to change something? Are you bullying them like they bullied me?" I ask Harry but he shakes his head.

"I fucking do fights for you! I beat against them if they are talking bullshit about you. I know that they will never stop and it breaks my heart to hear that all. It breaks my heart to hear your name from their lips and they say something no one deserves to be told. It breaks my heart to read those messages on Facebook. Hell I just want to be perfect for you but still I do mistakes. I should have told you, sorry. This was my mistake." Harry´s voice is suddenly only a whisper and I´m shocked. Tears are rushing down my face and I just don´t want to feel like this again. It doesn´t change anything if Harry is beating some of them, it only makes it worse.

"How many times did you fight against them so far? Do you think you´re anything better than them? It only gets worse." I sob and wipe my tears away. Harry´s fist lands against the door and I take a step back. I´ve never seen this aggressive side on Harry. It´s shocking, really.

"Fuck this Lucy, you know what?" Harry turns around and looks at me.

"What?" I only whisper and this is enough for him beating the door again.

"I try to do everything right for you and I fucking apologized. I know I fucking did a mistake and that I should have told you but you don´t know how hard it can be if you´re together with someone who gets bullied. But you know how much I love you and how much I care about you and that I would never want anyone else. But you do have to trust me what I´m doing and it just hurts me that you´re reading trough my shit. I´m sorry." Harry takes his jacket... is he going to leave now?

"You always knew that I got bullied. You always knew that people in my old school don´t like me, don´t you dare to make excuses for that. You don´t know how it feels like for me." Harry opens the door but his eyes are still on me. I shouldn´t have said this. Oh fuck.

"I saw what it feels like for you. I saw how you were trying to kill yourself and I saw your scars. You know what? Everybody is always talking about you, how poor you are but nobody, not even you, will ever ask how it was for me. To see you like that and can´t fucking do anything about it. It was HELL and that´s why I didn´t want to tell you. I thought you might understand it but you don´t and that´s really sad." Harry puts on his shoes and I just stare at him.

"Are you going to leave now?" I can´t stop crying and Harry doesn´t answer me, infact he´s closing the door, leaving me crying alone in our flat.