Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 37

Harry´s POV

"Are you able to go to school tomorrow?" Lucy is currently laying in bed, like most of the time since her mom died. After she blacked out I gave her some water and thanks god she managed to open her eyes again. I wanted to go to the doctors with her, but she wouldn´t let me. Of course I was shocked and scared about her, but after she promised me to eat something when we come back home, I couldn´t say no. Lucy only ate some soup, but at least it´s something and I´m proud that she did that. I know that she just can´t eat more at the moment. But it will get better.

Lucy is still pale and she shakes her head after some seconds. I let out a deep breath. Of course I understand her, it´s only been one week since her mom died, but she needs to get up again and fight. Laying around won´t help anything.

"What about you go and see your therapiest?" I softly ask Lucy but she immediatly rolls her eyes. I don´t know what to do. Her therapiest always helped her, so I really don´t understand Lucy.

I sit down in bed, right next to her to stroke her hair.

"Please." I whisper after some minutes but Lucy just closes her eyes. I watch the bracelet on her wrist, I gave her at christmas. "Love is the only thing that keeps people alive. H&L." Lucy never put it down ever since. I hope it stays like that and the words make her stay alive. I know that Lucy is very weak right now, but I believe in her. She wouldn´t let me down, right?

"You know that I don´t want to fight anymore." Lucy suddenly says emotionless. I gulp as her words make their way to my heart. She´s suicidal... and me denying it won´t help anything. Lucy would need help really badly but I´m smart enough to know, that if she doesn´t want to get better by herself, me and even the best therapiests in the world can´t help her.

I don´t even know which words are the right to tell her and make her feel better. I probably shouldn´t say anything. Just being here for her would be the best, but it sadly isn´t enough anymore.

"Please just tell me if I can do anything for you." Lucy nods and I quickly take her hand in mine.

"Will you go to school tomorrow?" She aks me after a few minutes and I suddenly realize, that my thoughts were all about her in the last few days, that I didn´t even think about that.

"Yeah, I guess. I should. But if you need me, I won´t go there." I tell her but Lucy shakes her head.

"No. I want you to go there." Lucy tells me and looks into my eyes deeply. Her gaze messes me up. Lucy´s eyes look so cold. So emotionless. So dead. There´s not that warmth whenever she looked at me, and fuck I miss my old Lucy so much. Will she ever be the same again? I know that pain changes people... but Lucy already had so much pain to go trough, I´m not sure how much else she could handle.

"I love you so much." The words suddenly leave my mouth and I immediatly regret it. Of course I do love her, but in the last few days it didn´t matter. I probably shoudln´t have said it. Lucy closes her eyes and squeezes my hand. It´s the only respond I get. She doesn´t respond with "I love you too." Like she usually does. And that is probably the most painful thing I ever experienced in my whole life. My eyes get watery and I need to get out of the bedroom.

What happened to our love? What happened to my love?

I just want everything to be normal again. I quickly let her hand fall back down onto the bed and without saying a word, I make my way out of the bedroom.

Lucy´s POV

I´m glad Harry finally left the room so I can sit up and take some paper and a pen out of the cupboard. I have to write my words for saying "good-bye" to all of the people I love. To Lena, my dad and of course to Harry. The three most important persons in my life. I love them with all of my heart, but the pain inside me grew stronger than love ever can.

I don´t know with who to start with and which words I need to write. I want to tell these people how much I love them and how sorry I am for leaving them, but somehow the paper stays empty for several minutes. Maybe this is not the right time for writing these words. I should write them soon, though. It will only be a few days until I´m going to leave this world.

It kind of makes me scared for not knowing what will happen after death. Is there something? Any place I will look down at the people I love? Will I feel something? But no matter what happens after, it can´t be as painful as it is right now.

Of course I know how sad they will be. I don´t want them to feel like this. But I´m sure that they will understand me one day. They love me and so they will accept it.

The door to the bedroom suddenly opens and Harry gets in with a cup of tea. I quickly put the paper and the pen back in the cupboard and smile at Harry. He hands me the cup of tea and frowns.

"Thank you." I whisper and take a sip from it.

"What did you do with the paper?" Harry asks me with confusion. Should I tell him the truth? No, he will know it soon or later.

"I just wanted to draw something." I shrug my shoulders and lie at him. I hate lying to Harry and I´m sure he knows that I´m lying, but what else should I do?

"Drawing? You never draw." Harry almost chuckles and I almost need to laugh as well. It´s stupid, really. But again, I just shrug my shoulders. Harry won´t be angry for lying to him, soon. He will understand everything one day.

(Hey, how are you all? (: I hope you´re all doing fine.. please give me some feedback!x)