Harry´s POV
"How are you feeling?" Lucy asks me after my alarm clock on my phone wakes us both up. I didn´t want to wake Lucy though, because she actually got some sleep tonight, but I need to go to school today.
"I´m okay, I guess." I frown. It´s been a long time since Lucy actually asked me how I´m feeling and I don´t blame her for that. There´s so much going on in her world. She shakes her head, though.
"No. I mean like, how are you really feeling?" Lucy asks me again and I shrug my shoulders. I haven´t thought about myself for a long time. She´s the only thing that matters to me.
"I´m just scared that I might lose you." I honestly tell Lucy. If she wants to know the truth, I will tell her. It´s the only thing right now, I´m scared of. The thought of losing Lucy makes me incredible unhappy and frightened.
"It´s time for you to go to school, isn´t it?" Lucy asks after a few minutes and I roll my eyes. I don´t even want to leave her alone. I don´t know if she´ll be alive when I come back home. It´s a stupid thought, really. I know that Lucy loves me and I love her, so she won´t leave me alone.
"Probably." I only say and get out of the bed. I quickly slip into my jeans and a white t-shirt. I don´t make the effort to actually go to the bathroom and give a single shit about my hair. I couldn´t care less. I would give everything to stay at home, but I know that Lucy needs some time on her own and I really need to go to school again. Lucy needs to know, that I trust her.
When I´m finally finished, I press a single kiss on Lucy´s cheek. "I love you." I whisper. Lucy´s breathing is calmer again and she doesn´t say anything back, so I guess she´s asleep again.
Without getting some breakfast, I quickly get out of our flat.
Lucy´s POV
I couldn´t really fall asleep after Harry left the flat. But I´m so glad that I´ve finally got some time for myself. I will think about the fact today, how I will leave this world. It´s so fucked up really, but I just don´t want to live this life anymore. I know that no therapy in this world could help me, I just want back to my mom. Harry will be the biggest problem. He´s the love of my life, and I know that I´m his. But not even love can keep me alive. I know that I should be here for him as well, I should assure him, that I will stay for him, but I just can´t. I´ve tried it for a very long time now and I guess I´m just not strong enough.
I remember the first suicide attempt I took. Pills will probably be okay again. If Harry didn´t find me that day, I wouldn´t be alive anymore. I wonder if it wouldn´t have been better, if I died that day, already.
I can´t even believe that I´ve fallen that far. My biggest wish is to be happy again, but I believe that I can only be happy, if I´m finally gone.
After laying in my bed for some hours I finally get out of it to take a shower and get in some fresh clothes. I take my purse with me to get out of the flat and make my way to the pharmacy.
It took me way too long to get them pills. They didn´t quite believe my lie at first, that I need them for my dad really quickly, since he´s ill and I´ve forgot the recipe from the doctors. I know that lies are stupid, but I wouldn´t have gotten them otherwise. I promised them that I would bring the recipe in only a few days. In a few days I don´t need to worry about that much more, thanksfully.
The thought about taking those pills is actually quite terrifying. I don´t know if it´ll take long until I´m far away or if I´ll get trough some pain. I quickly run home, because Harry will be home from school pretty soon as well.
Harry´s POV
School was exhausting and pretty boring, but it felt good to be back and socialise with some friends. Although I couldn´t quite get my thoughts off Lucy. I don´t know how she´s been doing without me. I´m glad that I´ll be back at home in any minute.
"Lucy?" I open the door to our flat. I´m suddenly so scared that she might be gone.
"Yeah?" She immediately answers and I let out a deep breath. I have to smile, because her voice hasn´t sound that alright for a while. I make my way to the bedroom to find Lucy sitting on the bed with her laptop on her lap. She´s using the internet again?
"What are you doing?" I ask her and step into the room. Lucy looks up at me and gives me a small smile.
"Nothing, much. I was just about to finish. I thought I could order some clothes." She tells me and shrugs her shoulders.
"Did you find anything?" I ask her. Just as I´m about to step closer, she closes her laptop and shakes her head.
"Not really. Everything´s a little bit too expensive and I don´t really have the feeling of buying something else than black clothes." Lucy chuckles and I frown but smile back at her. I can´t quite believe it, that she´s really in such a good mood right now.
"I need to go to the toilet." Lucy suddenly tells me and puts the laptop right on her cupboard and leaves the bedroom. I have to chuckle as I see a bag being clamped between the door of her cupboard. Has she been shopping while I was in school? Is it that reason, why she wore fresh clothes? I open the cupboard and frown. It´s a bag from the pharmacy?? My heart starts to beaten up and I´m suddenly scared what might be inside. Has Lucy been to the pharmacy to get some pills? It only takes me one look inside, to know the answer.
"Can you fucking explain me, what you´re doing here?" Lucy´s loud voice suddenly brings me out of my thoughts and I wince. I turn around to look in her face, which is so red, I´ve never seen her like that before. I stand up to hold that bag infront of her face.
"Well can you explain me this?"
(Hey guys! I´ve finally got some days off and I couldn´t be more happier!! I need a lot to do for school though, since I need to study for my final exams. I hope I will be able to update, later this week again though.
How are you all? I´m so so incredible shocked and sad, that Zayn left One Direction. I still don´t know what to say and think about it. I hope it was the right decision for him. Still, I´m so unbelievable sad, that I´m never going to see 5/5. I´ll only see 4/5 in June. It hurts, that he won´t finish the tour. A few days ago I was so scared that this means the end of 1D but please let´s not believe that. Let´s not stop supporting the boys, that´s the most important thing right now. Tell me, if you need anything. I love you all.x)
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Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"When does depression end?" "When it ends you." Harry and Lucy are happy together and Lucy is finally doing better. But did depression go away forever or will it come back stronger than ever before? This is the continuation of "Bullied (A Harry S...
